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Original poster

Why are parents so keen on Santa?

247 replies

separableRogueries · 22/09/2023 14:23

Posting from the UK.

My husband told our 3.5 yo that Santa isn’t real. She’s previously asked whether various other things were real (unicorns, monsters etc), and we’re always honest with her, so he didn’t realise Santa might be special).

I was a bit bummed because I quite enjoy the whole Santa thing, but I didn’t think it was the end of the world. I told some friends and one said she would be really upset if her partner did that, and another told me to expect a message from my daughter’s nursery if she mentions it today. I checked mumsnet and found parents of 8 and 9 year olds (!!!!!) agonising over whether to tell them The Truth, and it seems that many parents have Very Strong Feelings about Santa.

My question is, AITA for not understanding the Santa hysteria? Why is Santa held on a pedestal over, say, unicorns and God? My daughter LOVES unicorns and dragons, and knows that they’re not real. And nobody has side-eyed me for telling her that we don’t go to church because we (her parents) don’t believe in God.

Do parents of faiths who don’t celebrate Christmas warn their kids to never discuss Santa at nursery in the UK?

Would love to know your thoughts (and hopefully find at least one parent who doesn’t gasp in horror at a 3.5 yo knowing The Truth 😅)

OP posts:
YouBelongHere · 22/09/2023 15:55

I really feel like people who 'refuse to lie to their kids about Santa' are more than happy to lie in other areas of their life.

You can do what you want but saying parents are lying to their kids for wanting to give them a bit of magic and nice memories is so weird? When I was young I only remember truly believing in him without doubt for one year - if nothing else it kept me in bed trying to push away the excitement so that I could go to sleep otherwise he wouldn't come.

Oiyouoverthere · 22/09/2023 15:55

I remember how magical and wonderful I found Christmas, and particularly the idea of Santa and I wanted my children to experience that as well. I have no issues with parents who don't, but just like I wouldn't expect a child to be told they're going to hell or about sex before I decided they were ready, I wouldn't expect a child to be told there's no Santa.

DoubleTequilaSunrise · 22/09/2023 15:55

no harm raising the little ones to believe in a judgemental patriarch that rewards good behaviour with capital gain.

😂😂😂

THIS is why I love MN. Some people's view of the world is amazing.

temperedolive · 22/09/2023 15:55

I grew up Jewish (I'm really not Amy religion now) and it was such a weird.social pressure to lie to my peers. Some teachers used to explicitly take my siblings and I aside at the start if the Christmas season and tell us not to ruin Father Christmas for the other children. Others just hovered nervously around us, ready to jump in if we said anything. It was a very odd dynamic, because we (like any children) rather liked knowing a secret that most other children didn't. But it felt quite strange to dedicate a good chunk of the school year to this figure that we knew didn't exist. It was on the curriculum, so we wrote letters to.him and made paper plate artwork of his face and learned to spell his reindeer and we just never said anything about it.

I kind of wonder if that's why we all grew up to be somewhat religiously skeptical overall.

LakeTiticaca · 22/09/2023 15:55

Some proper grinches on this thread. The innocence of childhood is short enough nowadays without taking away a little bit of magic from little ones.
Hang your heads in shame!!!

Tigertigertigertiger · 22/09/2023 15:56

Because he's so generous and brings presents to children while they are sleeping on Christmas Eve.

puppywanted · 22/09/2023 15:56

I remember the magic from my own childhood and want to replicate it.

Same goes for Elf on The Shelf but opposite. I didn’t have that in my own childhood so feel no urge to have an elf.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 22/09/2023 15:56

I will let my 8 year old believe in Santa as long as she wants. She loves the magic of it and I love to see her excited. They are only young once and adults for a bloody long time after that. When she stops believing she can help make it magical for her baby sister.

For me it’s:
dd telling me I don’t need to light the fire Xmas morning as Santa lights it when he visits
me telling dd I would like a car boot organiser for Xmas and I hear her praying quietly to Santa to bring mummy one
dd leaving a note for Santa asking him if he’s “not too busy on Xmas eve to please fill her stocking with some treats”.

All these things make her happy and I’ll see her happy as much as I can.

Original poster
separableRogueries · 22/09/2023 15:57

you are saying that believing in fortune telling or dragons is as widespread and cultural as Santa?

With small children?? Yes. My daughter asks what’s real every day because we read her books about unicorns, dragons, dinosaurs, space ships, Santa, rhinos, magic (the list goes on) and she doesn’t have a bloody clue what’s real and what’s not. These things are huge to kids.

OP posts:
DoubleTequilaSunrise · 22/09/2023 15:57

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/09/2023 15:46

It’s the best part of raising children imo- there aren’t many!

I would agree that Christmas with younger children is very special. It doesn't last long, but there is some magic there.

HMW1906 · 22/09/2023 15:58

At least you’ll save some money on a Santa visit at Christmas 🤷‍♀️

Honestly I’d be absolutely gutted if my 3 year old was told that Santa wasn’t real, he’s already looking forward to Father Christmas coming and asked if we could go and see Father Christmas the other day. It’s part of the magic of being a child, he doesn’t need to grow up just yet.

Jusgettingby · 22/09/2023 15:59

My 7 year old asked me if santa was real, I asked her what she thought and she said that he was.
I said well that's all that matters.
Life can be shit enough as is it and your a long time old so let them enjoy some magic.

Stripeypyjamas · 22/09/2023 15:59

He does exist though, you've just presumably been naughty all these years.

Floralnomad · 22/09/2023 16:01

I just don’t get why most people think that kids have to believe in FC to make Christmas magical . Both of ours were bought up knowing that FC was a story character , like any other . We went to see FC when they were small , we did the whole Lapland thing and Christmas was no less magical because they didn’t believe . Both of mine are now adult and both still love Christmas .

DoubleTequilaSunrise · 22/09/2023 16:01

Stripeypyjamas · 22/09/2023 15:59

He does exist though, you've just presumably been naughty all these years.

this!

YourNameGoesHere · 22/09/2023 16:01

separableRogueries · 22/09/2023 15:57

you are saying that believing in fortune telling or dragons is as widespread and cultural as Santa?

With small children?? Yes. My daughter asks what’s real every day because we read her books about unicorns, dragons, dinosaurs, space ships, Santa, rhinos, magic (the list goes on) and she doesn’t have a bloody clue what’s real and what’s not. These things are huge to kids.

Have you ever thought to ask whe what she thinks and whether she thinks they are real instead of just saying no none of these amazing things you believe in or read about are actually real?

DoubleTequilaSunrise · 22/09/2023 16:03

Floralnomad · 22/09/2023 16:01

I just don’t get why most people think that kids have to believe in FC to make Christmas magical . Both of ours were bought up knowing that FC was a story character , like any other . We went to see FC when they were small , we did the whole Lapland thing and Christmas was no less magical because they didn’t believe . Both of mine are now adult and both still love Christmas .

because if our kids had not believed, it would have been different?

Lapland when you meet an actor, or when you meet the REAL Santa is simply not the same. I am not sure why it's even a question? It doesn't even have to be better or worst, but it's different. For me, it's better with magic.

Whereforartthoudave · 22/09/2023 16:03

Oh, you’re THOSE parents.
well done you, I admire anyone who thinks they never lie to their kids…

Original poster
separableRogueries · 22/09/2023 16:04

You can do what you want but saying parents are lying to their kids for wanting to give them a bit of magic and nice memories is so weird

I honestly couldn’t give a toss what people tell their kids, or whether people lie to their kids. When my daughter asks us a straight question she gets told the truth in an age appropriate way, but I don’t care how other people deal with that.

My post wasn’t even about what other people tell their kids. I asked what was special about Santa that gets people so upset.

OP posts:
SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 22/09/2023 16:05

For me Father Christmas has provided many lovely family moments and I enjoyed the fleeting years when the children would be utterly amazed by waking up to discover the random item they had asked for, especially things Mum and Dad would never find/purchase etc (such as a pink yo-yo with her name on it in purple writing - that was tough, or a ‘box of slime’ - I hate messy stuff).

The tooth fairy provided similar moments of joy.

Allofthisisasimulation · 22/09/2023 16:05

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/09/2023 15:52

Yes- what is my post implied otherwise?

Show quote history

You don't have to have 'implied otherwise' for someone else to add a comment to what you have written.......

FigTreeInEurope · 22/09/2023 16:06

separableRogueries · 22/09/2023 15:53

At 52, I still remember the shock and distrust I experienced when I realised santa wasn't real. I felt humiliated, that hot rising red embarrassment, as i became aware that my whole family had conspired against me in a lie.

I know this is a joke BUT I do know someone who found out in high school when the teacher mentioned Santa wasn’t real and his whole world was rocked 😂

It wasn't a joke at all. It affected me deeply, I felt like the whole family had ridiculed me for their entertainment.

Tryingmybestadhd · 22/09/2023 16:07

Wow you have a very bleak view on magical things and mythological creatures ! Let kids be kids .
there are full size grownups believing god makes life decisions for them , what’s wrong with allowing young kids to believe in magic .

PerspiringElizabeth · 22/09/2023 16:07

Why are parents so keen on Santa?

Because it’s fucking wonderful that THE WHOLE OF SOCIETY - schools, shops, broadcasting, people passing by on the street - allll the adults are in on this fabulous story PURELY so children get presents and have a lovely time in the bleak midwinter. And THEN, when you realise Santa is not one single man, then YOU get to be in on creating this joy for all those youngsters who still believe in the magic and mystery of it all. It’s bloody lovely and I literally don’t see any need to be anti.

BankMum · 22/09/2023 16:09

I have a real problem with telling children that Santa/Father Christmas is real. Encouraging supernatural beliefs and discouraging children from critical thinking is just not a great way to set them up for the rest of their lives. It's also not great to set up a pretty big lie perpetuated by all the grownups in their lives. I think it's confusing for children when they are very little and when they geet a bit older, it paves the way for general credulity and distrust of authority figures.

From a child's perspective - If I can believe in santa, why not the tooth fairy, or fairies or ghosts? Equally, if mum and dad lied to me for years about santa, what else might they lie to me about?

In my house, Father Christmas is part of many of the lovely stories we have around christmas and part of the celebrations, but stories are not real life. The joy and "magic" comes from the decorations, food, family gatherings, presents, films, music, stories etc.

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