Why are parents so keen on Santa?

[separableRogueries]

Posting from the UK.

My husband told our 3.5 yo that Santa isn’t real. She’s previously asked whether various other things were real (unicorns, monsters etc), and we’re always honest with her, so he didn’t realise Santa might be special).

I was a bit bummed because I quite enjoy the whole Santa thing, but I didn’t think it was the end of the world. I told some friends and one said she would be really upset if her partner did that, and another told me to expect a message from my daughter’s nursery if she mentions it today. I checked mumsnet and found parents of 8 and 9 year olds (!!!!!) agonising over whether to tell them The Truth, and it seems that many parents have Very Strong Feelings about Santa.

My question is, AITA for not understanding the Santa hysteria? Why is Santa held on a pedestal over, say, unicorns and God? My daughter LOVES unicorns and dragons, and knows that they’re not real. And nobody has side-eyed me for telling her that we don’t go to church because we (her parents) don’t believe in God.

Do parents of faiths who don’t celebrate Christmas warn their kids to never discuss Santa at nursery in the UK?

Would love to know your thoughts (and hopefully find at least one parent who doesn’t gasp in horror at a 3.5 yo knowing The Truth 😅)

Eh? They still get presents from everybody else?

no 😂

They've got enough presents at birthdays from parents etc, and I personally didn't disguise relatives gifts as Santas gift - they had to say thank you.

I feel like this post is really disingenuous, actually.

Christmas is the biggest celebration in the U.K. and Santa is a massive part of that.

In what meaningful way is anything you have listed comparable?

Because it’s magical and exciting. My kids sit tirelessly on Christmas Eve watching where Father Christmas is on his sleigh, what country his in next, what time he’ll be in England.

They go to bed that night full of wonder about what’s happening in the sky above them. I would be pissed off if someone took all that magic away from my child to soon tbh. I think you’re robbing them of a lovely part of childhood, but that’s just my opinion & she’s your kid.

you are saying that believing in fortune telling or dragons is as widespread and cultural as Santa?

Unicorns and goblins don't bring children presents though do they

@DoubleTequilaSunrise
It's not unreasonable to put some of the childhood enjoyment down to having 'done' the whole Santa. I also think, however, it's possible that a lot of the excitement and fun of having kids around at Christmas is exactly because they are kids! They (mostly) just have more energy and enthusiasm in general. Compare a child's birthday to a teenager or adults birthday, in terms of excitement, fun etc., and you will see what I mean perhaps.

I agree, very disingenuous.

Also just wanted to add i'd also be furious with my dh if he'd told the kids this.

He's absolutely fucking ruined it for your kid.

I bet HE believed in Santa though. He had HIS magical childhood dreams. Twat.

I can’t tell if you were trying to be funny with this but my husband and I are crying with laughter. He can’t remember if he believed in Santa. He didn’t have a great childhood tbh. He’s lovely and full of joy now, and he honestly didn’t tell her to be miserable, he just didn’t realise it was a big deal 😂

I don't think very many people believe in dragons, but I do think a lot of people believe in things like fortune telling.

I'm pretty sure DS believed til he was about 10. He is pretty naive/gullible! DD has always been a bit more switched on and sussed it out when she was 8.
I really enjoyed the make believe aspect of it. Even DD said at 8 she felt disappointed she didn't believe any more but she played along and even now (she's 17) she said she still wants to put a mince pie out for santa and carrot for Rudolf!

(My mum and dad made a stocking for me until I was prob in my 30s and when my sister brought a friend round for Xmas they made them a stocking as well!)

My dm was told when she was 3yo by her big brother and always felt she'd missed out, because she was young enough not to remember believing but old enough to remember what her brother told her. She always wished that her parents when she went to them had tried to hold on the belief slightly more than just saying he was right.

So what she did was when we asked asked us what we thought, and never answered the question. I've done the same, and none of mine mind. We did have the rule that no one says that he isn't real with the threat that they don't get a stocking if it's said out loud. Because obviously Santa is real and if you don't believe in him you won't get presents. That was introduced when dd2 was very keen to tell little brother, and anyone else she came into contact with. The dc tell me now (adults) that they liked that because even when they knew, the pretence is still fun.

I remember hiding under my covers on Christmas eve, trying to stay awake in the hope of seeing him, and the feeling of magic when I woke the next morning and seeing the presents. There was always the anticipation, and the very small wonder if the magic wouldn't work... I wouldn't want that taken away from any child.

It’s the best part of raising children imo- there aren’t many!

At 52, I still remember the shock and distrust I experienced when I realised santa wasn't real. I felt humiliated, that hot rising red embarrassment, as i became aware that my whole family had conspired against me in a lie. I honestly think it's patronising to kids, and done for the enjoyment the parents get from seeing the kids fall for it all. Still, no harm raising the little ones to believe in a judgemental patriarch that rewards good behaviour with capital gain.

Of course there are. I am one. My Mum was really in to it and I think I found out The Truth around 9.

I just don't feel comfortable deliberately making a huge effort to convince DC that something is true when it isn't. I haven't told DC he's real or not real.

Different people will find different aspects of raising children more or less pleasant, surely.

Looks like parents pretend only some presents are from santa. Weird. All very weird.

Im with you op but its not the general MN view.

Its the magic of childhood dontchaknow. Gotta preserve the magic.
Teach your kids all year long that lying isnt ok. Then at Christmas tell them a HUGE massive bundle of lies because its "the magic" - and then when they are older spend hours agonising over how to unpick the lies.

I feel like this post is really disingenuous, actually.

Christmas is the biggest celebration in the U.K. and Santa is a massive part of that.

I really didn’t mean for it to be disingenuous. My daughter is obsessed with unicorns. Talks about them every day, goes straight for anything with a unicorn on it. She spends wayyy more time thinking about unicorns than Santa. But she absolutely knows that unicorns aren’t real, and it doesn’t stop her imaginary play and excitement over them, and nobody has suggested I’m a joyless monster for not pretending they’re real.

Why are you in such a hurry to turn your child in to an adult? Did your partner not have a happy childhood full of magic and mysteries? How sad.

It's not turning your child in to an adult and it's not sad.

I had an amazing childhood, jam packed with great memories from all year, not just Christmas, and none of them involve Santa. My older brothers told me when was 4.

Because if they were good when they were children he brought them toys, sweets and chocolate.

not weird when it's presents from relatives, the kids can see them actually carrying the presents when they walk in!

They can also be around when we BUY presents for said relatives.

It was only the presents under the tree that came from Santa in my house.
So.. basically the ones I bought! Presents from Santa, as opposed to presents that mummy grabbed in Tesco... I don't care what people say, but it really doesn't sound the same to me. Team Santa all the way

Yes- what is my post implied otherwise?

At 52, I still remember the shock and distrust I experienced when I realised santa wasn't real. I felt humiliated, that hot rising red embarrassment, as i became aware that my whole family had conspired against me in a lie.

I know this is a joke BUT I do know someone who found out in high school when the teacher mentioned Santa wasn’t real and his whole world was rocked 😂

I think Father Christmas is more prominent than other make believe concepts because if marketing and target audience age. Coca cola used to be the ultimate Christmas advert, it's a time of year when family fun and appreciation is encouraged, it's something positive in the darkest and coldest time of the year and its something that anyone of any age can enjoy. He has evolved from Saint Nicholas who was said to have given his wealth to the poor and whilst religion isn't as prominent and the gift giving tends to be within families it's not hard to see why he has hung around.

The tooth fairy doesn't start until primary school and many kids stop believing in magic at that age anyway. It isn't on a set date or celebrated outside of the coin under a pillow. The idea of witches, wizards, monsters, fairies and unicorns are great but again not really celebrated as an event. Halloween is only recently taking off in the UK but is still much smaller in scale than abroad.