Why are parents so keen on Santa?

[separableRogueries]

Posting from the UK.

My husband told our 3.5 yo that Santa isn’t real. She’s previously asked whether various other things were real (unicorns, monsters etc), and we’re always honest with her, so he didn’t realise Santa might be special).

I was a bit bummed because I quite enjoy the whole Santa thing, but I didn’t think it was the end of the world. I told some friends and one said she would be really upset if her partner did that, and another told me to expect a message from my daughter’s nursery if she mentions it today. I checked mumsnet and found parents of 8 and 9 year olds (!!!!!) agonising over whether to tell them The Truth, and it seems that many parents have Very Strong Feelings about Santa.

My question is, AITA for not understanding the Santa hysteria? Why is Santa held on a pedestal over, say, unicorns and God? My daughter LOVES unicorns and dragons, and knows that they’re not real. And nobody has side-eyed me for telling her that we don’t go to church because we (her parents) don’t believe in God.

Do parents of faiths who don’t celebrate Christmas warn their kids to never discuss Santa at nursery in the UK?

Would love to know your thoughts (and hopefully find at least one parent who doesn’t gasp in horror at a 3.5 yo knowing The Truth 😅)

Strictlyfanoftenyears · Yesterday 23:07

Is your DH british? I find it hard to believe that he didnt think it was a big deal. I just think its sad that you now wont be able to enjoy the magic that is of a 3 and a half year old and christmas. Also Im curious, i cant imagine that a child that age would ask if Santa is real? (they wouldnt ask that) so your husband just told them for no reason? How odd....... (How mean)

He is British and so am I. Neither of us knew it would be such a big deal! I’m floored by how strongly people feel about this. I thought Santa was a nice exciting idea, but the idea that my kid would be excluded from parties in case she told other kids has damaged my faith in humanity a bit.

I don’t know what to say to you regarding you not believing what a 3.5 yo would or wouldn’t ask. She asks questions constantly, many of which I don’t know the answer to. She’s not exceptionally bright, this is my experience of most of her peer group.

Me husband is one of the kindest, most patient people I know. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, and he felt bad he’d upset me.

So much projection going on with these replies!

mathanxiety · Today 02:18
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Agree, @Strictlyfanoftenyears
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Children of this age do not ask questions like that.

You guys are wild. ‘I’ve never seen that so it doesn’t happen’. I honestly don’t know what to say. I’ve been lectured to the hilt about the importance of children’s imaginations on this thread, and also told my scenario is fictional because my child asked a question. What is so unbelievable about a child asking if something is real? It’s a man who comes down your chimney into your house while you sleep. It is honestly unreal to you that this inspires questions? She’s asks me about what happens if you land on Jupiter since it’s made of gas. Is that also unbelievable?

He didn't realise Santa might be special? This can't be real 😂

Crazycrazylady · Yesterday 17:05

There was a little boy in dc1s class years ago who tried telling everyone in juniors. Loads of parents complained abs thr teacher had a quiet word with his parents but regardless I noticed he was definitely excluded from parties and play dates afterwards as parents were afraid of him saying anything further .

This is absolutely sickening. If I knew any parent that pulled this bullshit I’d call them out on it. Would Jewish or Muslim kids also be excluded in case they let the cat out the bag?

Urgh, honestly, very little I’ve read in this thread has made me doubt Santa hysteria. I was initially sad that my husband told her straight and now I’m with him. Behaviour like this is insane.

He is British and so am I. Neither of us knew it would be such a big deal! I’m floored by how strongly people feel about this. I thought Santa was a nice exciting idea, but the idea that my kid would be excluded from parties in case she told other kids has damaged my faith in humanity a bit.

I'm with you! Also British as is DH. When DS was 6 and had asked me a year before if we were FC I'd said yes and he was just pleased to have worked it out. At Beavers one of the other mums came up to me quite cross to say he was telling the others. She wanted me to go and stop it before he told anyone else and seemed both angry and worried about it. I mentioned it to him not yo say anything else but I didn't get why it was such a big deal. Kids ask questions, they figure stuff out and they talk about it. I didn't realise FC was such a big deal either.

My DS will be 8 at Christmas and he has hero worshipped Santa since he was about 3. It’s so lovely to witness, he gets absolutely star struck by the annual visit to a Santa and so far has lapped it all up, the Elf on the Shelf, the lot. I’m only too aware that this is already on borrowed time and it doesn’t feel long enough.

My younger DC is nearly 5 and less bothered so I don’t think I would be devastated when he finds out it’s not real, but I’m worried my older DS will actually be heartbroken!

dearanon · Today 11:26
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He didn't realise Santa might be special? This can't be real 😂

Not special in an insane, cultish way, as he appears to be. It didn’t occur to either of us that this might affect how grown adults treat our very young and innocent child 😑

freespirit333 · Today 11:58
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My DS will be 8 at Christmas and he has hero worshipped Santa since he was about 3. It’s so lovely to witness, he gets absolutely star struck by the annual visit to a Santa and so far has lapped it all up, the Elf on the Shelf, the lot. I’m only too aware that this is already on borrowed time and it doesn’t feel long enough.
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My younger DC is nearly 5 and less bothered so I don’t think I would be devastated when he finds out it’s not real, but I’m worried my older DS will actually be heartbroken!

This is so sweet, bless him ❤️ I’d have liked to have a few years of that excitement 😭 Perhaps my daughter won’t remember what her dad told her, but she has the memory of an elephant so I’m not counting on it.

Nope, not SE England at all (the opposite!). I live in one of the places already mentioned, where apparently ‘everyone says Santa’ (not actually true!)

Things that might actively scare your pre-school child are not the same as Santa. Come on now.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · Today 14:34

Things that might actively scare your pre-school child are not the same as Santa. Come on now.

Come on now what? You come on! These responses are ridiculous. The person asked me what other things are make believe I gave a list. How are unicorns and dragons scary? They all feature prominently in my kid’s imaginary play (way more than Santa). Many kids are raised to believe in various Gods, nobody is demanding I ensure my child is silent regarding whether they are real. Why is Santa special???

I was scared of Santa as a child- a random man breaking into our house?! My parents told me the history behind the man who inspired Santa and I appreciated that and was no longer scared at Christmas lol. I told my kids the same. However, I will go along with anything my kids enjoy- last year my 12yo's hamster died and we had a ceremony in the woods so the fairies would guide him into the spirit world. I set up lanterns and left sunflower seeds and told her when the lanterns dimmed (batteries ran out lol) that meant he was with the fairies. She was so happy with that. There's probably more truth to animal spirits than a magical creepy old man. I think the fervor over Santa is ridiculous though, and the anger of parents over it, just crazy.

Dragons are quite scary!

People are absolutely weird about Santa, as this thread demonstrates. Fine, it's a nice story but if you're too invested in it probably some soul searching is in order. There's plenty of genuinely wonderful experiences in this world to experience without being too aggressive about protecting the myth of the old geezer who comes down the chimney with presents every year for reasons nobody has yet explained. You're right to be relaxed about it

The issue I have with the secular Christmas is that it, for children, is all about 'getting' and then the emphasis on 'you've got to be good', especially with all the ghastly 'Elf on the shelf' nonsense.

A Christian Christmas has an emphasis on 'giving', and it doesn't matter if you are good or not (we are all sinners).

I think that's massively generalising.

I know many, many people who celebrate a secular Christmas where the emphasis is placed on giving, generosity, helping people, caring. Yes Santa brings gifts but the Christmas spirit is about so much more than that.

I also only know a tiny number of people who place an emphasis on Santa only coming if you are good, we certainly don't. Our children know that they receive gifts regardless - being 'good' and doing the right thing are just part of life.

Depends on the type of Christians in my experience where you were told you had to be a good child or you’ll end up on Santa’s naughty list and get a lump of coal instead of presents while in my secular school, we did food and coat drives, singing Christmas carols and doing bells at nursing homes, and raising money for charity.

We are Muslim and as kids I remember asking my dad about it. He said Santa or father Christmas comes to Christian kids homes. My kids have only recently asked (older two are 6, 7) and I have said the same. They know the selection boxes they get every year and from their grandparents and pjs they get at Xmas are from their dad and I but we have our own special celebrations and that's where the excitement is for us. Not that we can't enjoy the cosy nights in, xmas tele and dinner. We had mixed race cousins who were much younger and even though I knew the truth at that point would never have mentioned it to them.

Kids grow up so fast nowadays, if it's a simple pleasure to belive in Santa I wouldn't rain on their parade.

We’re Jewish, so my plan (baby still too young for it to matter) is to tell him that while Santa isn’t real, other children/families like the fun of believing so he should try not to give away the secret.

Because many of us have such fond and magical memories of Christmas and the excitement of Santa coming that we want to replicate that with our children

Santa "chavtastic"? FFS.

Santa "chavtastic"? FFS.

Pure, unadulterated ignorance. So weird that they declare it to the world like they're proud of it though 😵‍💫