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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my boyfriend is being really muggy?

290 replies

DeepDishCookie78 · 22/09/2023 10:23

I have been with my boyfriend about a year now. We live about 1 hour 45 minutes away from each other. I have one child and he has none. I have my own home whereas he has had to move back home for a while because his ex got him into some financial difficulties (he is 28 years old and I am 27).

He had booked a surprise weekend for us that was meant to be today until Sunday. It was obviously a surprise when he booked it but he had to give me a few weeks notice to arrange the childcare and for the pets to be looked after.

He has had a really stressful last couple of weeks so said that he wanted to go alone. I was disappointed as it had been booked weeks in advance, I had gone to the trouble to arrange the childcare and for the animals and we don’t get to see each other on our own for quality time very much.

Fast forward to today and he is now taking his dad with him (the trip is to watch a sports game as I have wanted to watch one live for ages). He is definitely going with his dad as I could hear them speaking in the background when he rang.

AIBU to feel really pissed off and mugged off about this? He knows that I still have the childcare and everything arranged (my child still wanted to go and stay with relatives so I kept the plan the same for that) and instead of taking the opportunity to spend quality time with me, he has now suddenly decided that he doesn’t want to go alone but has chosen his dad instead?

OP posts:
Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:20

Fuck him off.

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:22

She already has @Ilovecleaning

LubyLooTwo · 23/09/2023 19:22

I think he has baggage.

Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:24

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:22

She already has @Ilovecleaning

Thanks. 😊. Sometimes I am too lazy to read the whole thread! Glad she’s done it. 🥰. good luck to you, OP. 🌺

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:30

Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:24

Thanks. 😊. Sometimes I am too lazy to read the whole thread! Glad she’s done it. 🥰. good luck to you, OP. 🌺

Show quote history

On a long thread I click on "see all" on the OP's first post to check the updates.

Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:32

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:30

On a long thread I click on "see all" on the OP's first post to check the updates.

Show quote history

Good advice 😍. Thanks.

jrc1071 · 23/09/2023 19:38

This.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 23/09/2023 19:47

DeepDishCookie78 · 22/09/2023 11:10

@Needmorelego he used to do it a lot in the beginning (first 3-4 months), always cancelling plans to spend time with friends and family instead, then he got better and now it looks like it’s going back to how it used to be again 🤷‍♀️

OMG why did you put up with this at the beginning? That's when you'd expect him to be on his best behaviour, yet he was still so disrespectful.

LTB.

ETA: I see that you already did.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 23/09/2023 19:51

This worries me:

Well he ended up randomly blocking me anyway

I would wager money on there being another woman involved. Get an STI test.

Original poster
DeepDishCookie78 · 23/09/2023 19:51

So, I got home from a lovely day out and he rang me twice trying to justify himself… told him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and I’m not changing my mind and I’m moving on - feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in! 💐

OP posts:
Justkeepingplatesspinning · 23/09/2023 19:56

Well done on not caving into his pleas etc. Now that he's unblocked you, you can block him. On everything possible.
You're way better off without him. I hope you didn't end up out of pocket with child care and pet sitting etc. Yes he was helpful with your anxiety and good with your child, but he didn't think highly enough of you to honour the weekend away that he'd promised you. Even though he knew it was costing you money to make happen.
Leave him back in the pond and find a fish who really values you.

Pepsi2001 · 23/09/2023 19:59

He needs binned!!

Zerosleep · 23/09/2023 20:00

What a selfish fucker, I would get rid as it won’t get any better.

Olika · 23/09/2023 20:14

DeepDishCookie78 · 23/09/2023 19:51

So, I got home from a lovely day out and he rang me twice trying to justify himself… told him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and I’m not changing my mind and I’m moving on - feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in! 💐

👏 good job!

Sunshinenrain · 23/09/2023 20:16

Well done you OP!!
He has treated you terribly and you deserve so much better!

It can be very difficult to move on from something you’re so used to.
So my advice is to delete every contact you have for him (his number, old texts and phone log etc) as then you won’t risk having a weak moment, texting him and then regretting it straight after.

You can always come on here and reread the posts or ask us to talk you out of contacting him.

Get on the dating sites and go out with your friends too.
The busier you are and the more other guys draw your attention away, the less you’ll think of him.

WowOK · 23/09/2023 20:19

@DeepDishCookie78 stay strong 💪

AutumnFroglets · 23/09/2023 20:19

feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in!

Well done you! You are worth ten of him, remember that. I can't believe he blocked you then decided to call you twice. The brass neck of him! 😱

cowbags73 · 23/09/2023 20:30

Oh sweet pea, what’s the phrase “He’s just not that in to you”. I’m gonna just say he reflected on things and thought he would have a better time with his Dad. Or possibly worse, he hasn’t got the balls to say No to his Dad. If that is who he has taken.
You’ve said you have anxiety and he has, at times, helped you with that, but you’re not able to see he is causing you massive anxiety many others. So on balance, it’s not a healthy relationship and you, and your child, deserve more.
I was in a similar situation after my divorce - pretty low self esteem so clung on to the glimmers of hope from an otherwise controlling bloke - who just wasn’t that into me. Thankfully I got out, and unsurprisingly he didn’t try to fight for me!
Good luck and hope you find a better match soon.

GrannyRose15 · 23/09/2023 20:46

I’d be very annoyed too. But turn it to your advantage. Book a spa break or something and have some blissful time on your own.

TrixieMixie · 23/09/2023 20:46

LTB

Kisskiss · 23/09/2023 20:48

Well done ditching him. That’s awful, bad enough to cancel a nice surprise for no real good reason, but even worse considering the arrangements you had to make for it in the first place . This would make many pple anxious and you don’t Deserve that !!! Totally unreliable fool of a man

GodDammitCecil · 23/09/2023 20:59

TrixieMixie · 23/09/2023 20:46

LTB

RTFT

Petlover9 · 23/09/2023 21:05

AngelinaFibres · 22/09/2023 10:57

This a million times. You can do better. Raise the bar a very long way.

Show quote history

Totally agree, he is selfish. He must know how hard it was to arrange child and pet care , tell him to bog off, you are worth more

MonkeyChiselTree · 23/09/2023 21:07

Good on you for sticking to your resolve. What an arsehole tempting you with tickets, binning you off then taking his dad! You're well rid of someone who treats you like that. You deserve better and you will find better 💐

SirVixofVixHall · 23/09/2023 21:08

BumBurnerBum · 22/09/2023 10:26

So he booked a dirprise weekend for you both and now doesn't want to go with you?? I'd be annoyed after arranging child and pet care and would honestly reconsider this relationship.

Agree with this.
Really inconsiderate and rude.

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