To think that my boyfriend is being really muggy?

[DeepDishCookie78]

I have been with my boyfriend about a year now. We live about 1 hour 45 minutes away from each other. I have one child and he has none. I have my own home whereas he has had to move back home for a while because his ex got him into some financial difficulties (he is 28 years old and I am 27).

He had booked a surprise weekend for us that was meant to be today until Sunday. It was obviously a surprise when he booked it but he had to give me a few weeks notice to arrange the childcare and for the pets to be looked after.

He has had a really stressful last couple of weeks so said that he wanted to go alone. I was disappointed as it had been booked weeks in advance, I had gone to the trouble to arrange the childcare and for the animals and we don’t get to see each other on our own for quality time very much.

Fast forward to today and he is now taking his dad with him (the trip is to watch a sports game as I have wanted to watch one live for ages). He is definitely going with his dad as I could hear them speaking in the background when he rang.

AIBU to feel really pissed off and mugged off about this? He knows that I still have the childcare and everything arranged (my child still wanted to go and stay with relatives so I kept the plan the same for that) and instead of taking the opportunity to spend quality time with me, he has now suddenly decided that he doesn’t want to go alone but has chosen his dad instead?

support and female camaraderie

Means validating the OP's gut feeling that something is wrong and reassuring her that she deserves better. Not gaslighting her into ignoring her feeling that something is wrong. You know, the feeling of wrongness that prompted her to post in the first place?

Absolutely this. I doubt “his ex got him into financial difficulty”. Sounds like a good excuse for not being able to sort his own finances out- easy to blame the ex.

What an awful thing to do - you’re definitely better off without this one!

Well done for standing up to him OP. Glad you had a lovely day out with your family.

He randomly blocked you because he knew you would not be happy about being messed around over the weekend.... as Pp said he did it to "scare" you.. and then phoned twice to justify himself and sweettalk you round.
What a Prince.
He's one of those that likes to switch the affection on and off without warning to keep you on side and con you into putting up with his nonsense, just because he can.
Whilst it may be sad to end a relationship, you will probably be more mourning the end of the relationship you wanted, rather than the one he actually permitted you to have - you will be much better off and much less anxious without this idiot messing you around in the way that he has.

Ask him?
If he is just Daddy's little boy then get rid!!

@Daisybuttercup12345 oh yes, forgot to update the thread - I did ask him because I just felt like I needed an explanation - and he said that he told his dad that he was going alone and that his dad ‘insisted’ that he joined him.

Either too spineless to say no or too much of a daddy’s boy - either way, not for me thank you!

Or he’s lying and always intended to take his dad.

Or else he would have told his dad straight up that he was going with you.

He probably gets out of paying rent this way.

Stick to your guns. You can find a man who isn't giving you all the unnecessary drama. So off putting.

You definitely need to ask directly, ‘What happened this weekend?’ Listen very carefully to the response. I’d almost write the words down!

Unless he has a very understandable reason, I think I’d probably dump him! What kind of man has a stressful few weeks and instead of relying on his girlfriend of A YEAR, goes alone to think things through but actually takes his Dad?

He managed to get into debt as a single man without dependents, had to move in with his parents and expects you to run your own household with a child and pet, arrange for them to be looked after for a weekend to ‘spoil you’ and then changes his mind.

At 28 he should be more mature than this, sorry!

xx.

OP has updated to say that the relationship is over. There is a "see all" link at the bottom right of the original post that lets you see all the OP's updates without having to trawl through the whole thread.

I've nothing more to add to what's already been said, he's not that into you.

If it was me I would not be contacting him, see how long it takes him and ask the questions when he does then move on from him.

You didn’t even need to add that @YerArseInParsley

The relationship is over.

What a dreadful experience for you; I’m so glad you’re free and staying strong! You do not need anyone treating you (or your child!) like that. You’ve obviously made huge strides on conquering your anxiety too :) don’t let him wear you down, block him and move forward.

@DeepDishCookie78 I have been thinking about you and hope that all is well.

Basically he got away with it previously and he is expecting to get away with it again.

he’s living in their house.

I checked and nowhere did I read he's "living in their house"

OP, he changed the goal posts, sorry for the cliche, now is your time to go and do your own thing. You've organised the babysitting.

WOMEN! Never depend on a man to do the right thing when they get a better offer.

Become independent! Your future self will thank you.