To think that my boyfriend is being really muggy?

[DeepDishCookie78]

I have been with my boyfriend about a year now. We live about 1 hour 45 minutes away from each other. I have one child and he has none. I have my own home whereas he has had to move back home for a while because his ex got him into some financial difficulties (he is 28 years old and I am 27).

He had booked a surprise weekend for us that was meant to be today until Sunday. It was obviously a surprise when he booked it but he had to give me a few weeks notice to arrange the childcare and for the pets to be looked after.

He has had a really stressful last couple of weeks so said that he wanted to go alone. I was disappointed as it had been booked weeks in advance, I had gone to the trouble to arrange the childcare and for the animals and we don’t get to see each other on our own for quality time very much.

Fast forward to today and he is now taking his dad with him (the trip is to watch a sports game as I have wanted to watch one live for ages). He is definitely going with his dad as I could hear them speaking in the background when he rang.

AIBU to feel really pissed off and mugged off about this? He knows that I still have the childcare and everything arranged (my child still wanted to go and stay with relatives so I kept the plan the same for that) and instead of taking the opportunity to spend quality time with me, he has now suddenly decided that he doesn’t want to go alone but has chosen his dad instead?

Me too!

I am quite stunned at the excuses people are coming up with on this thread to be honest. This is an adult man, if he is struggling with someone specific then he needed to have been honest. Usually when people are stressed then a break with their loved ones is normally a good thing.

If it were me, I wouldn't require any contraception.

He wouldn't get a second chance to diss me again.

He lives with his bloody father - why does he need to go away with him?

He's up to no good. Dump him.

This. He's not wanting a serious relationship here.

Get your adult head on and instead if sulking and suspicioning, ask him.

Calmly set out what happened, what you did to accommodate the trip, how you felt when he replaced you.

Ask him what was the thinking behind his actions.

Find out. There may be something happening.

It seems you are both acting in quite a teenage way.

Where are you standards ? Don't allow anyone to treat you like this. Get rid and get a grown up.

No. Go by his actions so far. Unsalvageable. Protect yourself and dump.

I think, in the long term, his behaviour will make your anxiety worse. He clearly doesn't prioritise you, and when he lets you down you accept any crumbs from his table, and he knows it.

You are his fall back option. You need to end this because he will continue in this vein. I'm sorry this is happening to you

He was never going alone.

He probably booked it for him and his Dad to go. Dad couldn't go, so he invited you. Dad changed his plans so he could go, but boyfriend realised he couldn't tell you that, so told you a bullshit story about going alone.

You're the least important person in his life. Is that really what you want?

Yes exactly!

I was thinking the same thing, having a break away with your partner when you’re really stressed would be absolutely perfect.

The posters defending him must have extremely low standards to excuse making plans like this and then cancelling them (but still going himself).

Some weird takes...

If I was to book a trip away for a woman I was seeing, full well knowing arrangements had to be made for her children and pets in order to come, there's no way I would expect her to be okay with ditching her last minute. Even if there were no children or pets, that wouldn't go down well.

He's a cock and may give you some insight to the previous relationship.

He would get dumped for that if that was me sorry...

He is showing you who he is. Believe him.

Yeah hard no! Boy bye 👋🏻

if you stand for that level of disrespect and total disregard for your feelings and your excitement for the trip it'll only continue to happen. He needs a massive bump down to reality, you can't treat people that way and expect to get away with it.

also as other people have said blaming his financial issues on his ex is a huge red flag. He probably caused himself financial issues and is embarrased so blames his ex. Just makes you wonder what you'll get the blame for when it goes tits up..

id sack him off, you and your child deserve better

No idea what muggy means but he sounds like an arsehole OP. I'd ditch him.

I would beware of a man who says his ex got him into financial difficulty and is now living with a parent. My ex did exactly the same thing when we were in our 20s and it was bollocks. He got himself into financial difficulty due to overspending (which I used to try and persuade him to stop to no avail) and I was actually far better off when I stopped going out with him. Are you sure he's even paid for this trip? Maybe his dad paid and that's real reason he's going.

Id sack him off....

This

his ex got him into some financial difficulties

That old trope 🙄

If someone invites you to something then rescinds the invitation, personally I don't think the person who has been so rudely let down should be doing the chasing to find out why. And he's said he is stressed so wants to go alone, but now he's going with his dad? 🧐 Yeah I'd have questions too, but I wouldn't bother asking them, I'd be ending it. The reason doesn't matter, his attitude and poor behaviour does matter, and ultimately how someone treats you tells you how much respect they have for you.

I expect you've lost money having to sort the care for your pets out too, OP?

It doesn't add up. He thinks it's fine to treat you like this. It isn't though, is it?

Judge folk on their behaviour, their actions, not just what they say. In any case, all of this from him is awful. He's effectively lied to you by telling you he wants to go on his own, as he isn't!

He may have encouraged you out and in dealing with your anxiety, but don't give him more credit than is due. YOU also managed to move through your anxiety and do better, and you will continue to do so. He is not the be all and end all for you or your mental health. He is just a boyfriend (and an ex boyfriend in my suggestion).

I'm sure it will be difficult for you not to have him in your life OP. I'm sure there will be things about him and the relationship you will really miss. However, there are so many issues, it's also going to be very difficult if you keep him in your life, and those difficulties will last a lot longer.
Think of how you feel now. The disappointment, resentment, sadness. Imagine a future where you have to repeatedly go through this. Compare that to a few miserable weeks where you adjust to him not being around, followed by a future where you know where you stand and what to expect. Either independently or in a relationship with a better man.

Agreed. You can’t invite someone on a weekend away and then turn round and say you’re taking someone else and expect a relationship to continue!!

this . Sorry OP, what he did was so disappointing and you say its not the first time he's made arrangements and cancelled to do something with his mates instead.

You have made your own progress with things but I don't think you should worry that you will go downhill without him. Its more likely if you stayed and were continuously let down by someone as selfish and unrelable.

As others have said plan a nice weekend for yourself, enjoy your free time and also seeing your LO when the weekend is over.

And think of what it will be like if this is the pattern for your life together over the next 50 years.