Is this life with a baby or am I doing it wrong?

[idbs]

I have an 11 month old and it is IMPOSSIBLE to stay in the house and stay sane. We’ve been up 1.5 hours and she is bored, lots of toys, even resort to tv, reading books with her, change rooms, let her watch me cook, etc etc… doesn’t matter what I do, three hours into the day she is going crazy wanting to have a change of scenery. I end up wandering round shops, going to animal parks, walks etc… anything but be in the house.

I am finding this so depressing especially in the colder weather. It’s also expensive ad I inevitably buy a coffee or whatever when we go out.

Is this how it is or should I be doing something different with her at home?!

I liked to get out everyday. The local family centres and library usually run free events. Cheap playgroups, the park with a coffee from home.

I have a national trust membership for this reason, wander around the parkland for a few hours every day, or the local park, or just go for a walk from my house. Supermarket trips are popular with my babies too!

I found it easier out of the house than in it when dc was that age. I was lucky to meet a great group of nct mums and as none of us had family around we relied on each other for entertainment. We went to story time at library, music class, swimming lessons, soft play and then took it in turns at each others homes. I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea but it helped get the day in and dc loved the interaction.

Normal I'm afraid. If we're not out by 9.30ish then it's like the whole day is wasted because then lunch is looming and they get bad tempered...

Make yourself a schedule. Baby groups, library etc. Try to swap numbers with other mums. Hanging out at each other's houses is cheap and easy, especially on a rainy day.

Establish a routine for yourself and baby. Locate different groups you can join for at least 2 days a week, then add in a weekly library trip, swimming, park, woods, garden centre, etc. Have an at-home routine of set play times - paint, sticking, jigsaws, construction etc. On my desperate days my kids would be in their bedtime bath at 4 pm, bubbles for an hour! Try to enjoy most of your time together, but accept that it can be a slog!

This is me and my kids.

sometimes I wish they would play for half an hour while I sit and have a coffee in the peace of my own living room. There is literally nothing that will keep them peacefully happy in the house despite having plenty of stuff!!!

I have resigned myself to it and keep telling myself at least it’s keeping the house tidy because we aren’t in it 😂

so no advice, just sympathy 💖

Also agree with PP, I’ve never got so much use out of a membership than I have my national trust one!

Plus they often have a really good playground for when DC gets a bit bigger

DS is 2 later in the year and we have to go out once a day. Even if that means to a supermarket or to the local park 2 mins away, even if we are out 10 minutes it seems he feels better and less restless when he comes in!

Totally agree I have to get out the house or just see other adults! Can't stand being in the house with a toddler. He gets more out of it too. Join classes to meet other mums. If you sign up for a 6 week block you should bond with other mums then after you can do free coffee catch ups at home. Wrap up warm and go to the park, take a ball / rocket launcher etc

Sounds very familiar! I’d always meet up with people when on mat leave. Play dates at home with a friend and their baby was a saviour - they played better and I could chat with a cuppa! Not the second time tho with a Covid baby which was soooo crap. Deffo do what people have suggested and find local play groups. you’ll have more sanity with more adult company though.

I had 6 months maternity leave (that's all we got when my babies were born) so mine were in nursery several sessions a week by that age when I was working, and they thrived on it. Look up local baby groups, library activities, stuff like that. When you're at home wanting to get house stuff done put her in a carrier, an ergo type can be used on the front or the back, and just being in that whilst you do stuff will entertain her.

What did you like to do BEFORE the baby?

It's my idea of hell to be stuck in a house all day, I'd go crazy, so I always saw the "taking the kids out every day" the best part of my day. It still is 😂

They spend energy, the house stays clean, you don't actually need to entertain them because you are outside.

A very good present if family ask what you want for the baby/toddler is a yearly membership to something - biggest soft play, or farm with the biggest playground etc.

Sorry quite normal 😑 we used to have to have an activity out the house in the morning and afternoon, hell during the lockdowns, was so much easier to entertain our year old at the time, teddy bears picnics etc. Are there any local children’s centre, our local one has always been a lifeline to the mums in our village, walks, swimming, church baby groups, just try to plan something every day

Both my maternity leaves were mostly in the autumn and winter and I had two very ‘need to be out’ babies (now need to be out toddler and school age - it didn’t stop 😂) and found these years were the two where I was least affected by the dark nights as I could get out and about. Even if the weather is a bit naff it’s still good to be out in daylight. Now I’m back to being in work during daylight hours and it sucks 😒

our 4 year

Twice a day, every day and six hours a day during lockdown as we lived in the countryside. Even now I can't remember a single day other than Christmas day when we didn't go out for a significant part of the day. He is 6 years old.

Lots of good advice so I just wanted to say - keep going, it does get easier. Yesterday I was thinking about how when my daughter was little I used to have to think of the day in one hour chunks to get through. She's just turned three now and 4 hours passed without any particular plan, just playing and cleaning and pottering about. Chin up!

Normal. I walked off 30lb on mat leave with the buggy. Sometimes we'd drive 2 towns over to the slightly larger Morrisons for something to do! But yes, I reckon my coffee/cake spend was £25 a week.

I find they're generally happier to be at home later in the day, but do generally need to get up and get out early.

You might find you get a bit of peace at home if you really tire her out in the morning (both mentally and physically).

Definitely look into classes/baby groups, if you can find something for every morning you can just have a regular routine and it's saves the hassle of having to actually think about it every morning.

Since my DD has been a couple of months old I've gotten us out of the house every day for most of the day. For as much my sake as for hers.

So we go out most days...
We have membership to our local soft play (£6 a month)- cheaper than paying once at peak time.... we also go to the park, shop, take dolly for a walk, have a zoo membership and national trust membership. She also loves going on ghe bus or on the train as likes to look at everyone aand always has!! However she is 3 (been crawling since 3 months old- thanks lockdown)
At 11 months old I did lots of tuff tray set ups- cereal, animals, any left over dinner (squidgy it, shape it, put in cupcake cases etc)... jelly, custard etc- sometimes did it in the bath so could just swill some water round and be done with cleanup... we also never used bath time in the evening- and did it when she was bored mid afternoon post nap- and at that point did some messy play in the bath before bath time!! Seriously take pressure off your self- our daughter doesn't go out everyday (Daddy looks after her and it depends how his epilepsy is to what happens)... if she gets fractious we always changed rooms or got on the floor and she would climb over us...

Yeah when DD was that age we did church group 10am on Monday, baby gym 3pm on Tuesday, free song and rhyme class 12.30pm Wednesday or sometimes messy play at 11, baby sensory 9.30am Thursday, and park/ swimming/ library/ soft play/ walk/ cafe/ visiting family on Friday and in between the structured activities, naps and mealtimes on the other days. DD is a toddler now and we still go out twice a day, pre nap and post nap on the days we are with her. I’m a homebody but I think it has been good for me.

DS1 was terrible at this age in the house. I regularly used to be in our local park for 8am (and that would be trip one of three) I’m not going to lie, he’s still similar at age 3. He literally starts every morning by asking ‘where are we going today?’ But it has got better. We can actually do day trips to interesting places now. And if we get out early and have a good few hours out of the house, he will now entertain himself for a few hours with toys and tv when we are home in the afternoon if he’s in the mood. Nursery has been very good for him.

DS2 is only 10 weeks but I can already tell he is going to be the same. He’s so much happier outside than inside. He’d happily sit in the sling or the pram being walked around for hours. To be fair, DH and I were never in the house at weekends pre DC so I can hardly be surprised 😂

Both my boys are / were like this (one 3 year old, one 8 month old). The 3 year old was hellish as I couldn't even go out due to lockdown all the time, and the whining did my head in.

We stayed home today... our 8 month old drove us crazy and my husband took him for a walk in the carrier and he fell asleep so i could get on with some things at home while the toddler has his hour of TV.

It gets easier. I love love loved it when ds1 started walking, it's just more fun heading out (parks / museums) you can interact with them more etc. So I know with ds2 there's light but I really do not like the baby stage and I am guilty of wishing it away...

Have you tried reducing the amount of toys out? You can separate them and rotate what you put out throughout the day as she gets bored. It might gain you more time in but I will say getting out each day does have its benefits even if its just for a stroll