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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call my neighbour selfish

457 replies

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:36

We live in a quiet street with about 10 houses in. I have mobility issues and also struggle with my MH. It's important for me to have as much sleep as possible so I tend to go to bed at 10.30pm and don't get up until about 11am.

Very recently a family moved in next door. They have 3 children who are lovely and not a problem. But their mother annoys me and I feel she is being selfish. She works strange hours and most days leaves the house to go to work at 4.30am. She drives an old car and the doors creaks when she opens it. She then normally sits in the car with it running for 5 mins before driving off. The father is fine.

I have spoken to her and told her about my health issues and have asked her to consider changing her working hours, replace her car or to park her car in a road away from the house. She said she was sorry that she disturbs me but she cannot change her working hours due to the nature of her job. She said they can't afford to replace the car and as its an old car she has to warm it up before going anywhere. She admits the door creaks and said that oiling is didn't help. She is not willing to park away from home and she doesn't think its safe to walk on her own early in the morning with no streetlights.

She is making me more poorly. I am now having to sleep a bit in the afternoon due go being disturbed and as a result am missing out on me time.

What can I do about it? I'm fed up of her selfish behaviour.

OP posts:
Liquorish · 21/09/2023 21:55

Deletion in 3...

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/09/2023 21:56

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:47

I'm not sure what a reverse is but I am being serious. I don't choose to be poorly, but she can choose her job. I wouldn't go waking her up at 11pm as I know she gets up early and that would be unfair and I would appreciate the same consideration.

You think it’s so easy to get a job that she can just pick a new one at the drop of a hat? I’m pretty sure that hasn’t been the case for decades.

Chocolatepopcorn · 21/09/2023 21:56

That's ridiculous, OP. Of course she is not going to change her working hours for you. Some neighbour noise is part of life. I have mental health problems and mobility problems and still have to get up at 6 and do a full day's work. I really don't think you have it that bad.

MissFancyDay · 21/09/2023 21:57

Can't you just go back to sleep when she's gone?

Chocolatepopcorn · 21/09/2023 21:58

Just turn over and go back to sleep. If you get up at 11 am then surely that's another 6 hours' sleep.

TheShinmeister · 21/09/2023 21:59

Dear Lord

MsRosley · 21/09/2023 21:59

Greenshake · 21/09/2023 19:41

This has to be a joke. You can’t be serious?

It's a wind up. No one can be this unreasonable.

JellyBeanFactory · 21/09/2023 22:00

Are you able to change bedrooms? Triple glaze your windows?

Sorry OP but I'm afraid this is for you to find a solution, not your neighbour.

Neilsfavouritechilli · 21/09/2023 22:01

So bizarre is this, I thought reverse but OP is digging their heels in. Thread will be gone by morning.

Reigateforever · 21/09/2023 22:01

I am sorry you are suffering from health problems. However, I do agree with what Hiddenvoice said, change rooms, if necessary with the other people in your house, wear ear plugs and have a low background sound. I would add that maybe going to bed earlier say 8.30 like so many shift workers have to.

Saharafordessert · 21/09/2023 22:02

ohdamnitjanet · 21/09/2023 20:40

Oh excellent point!

This!

thelinkisdead · 21/09/2023 22:04

This reply has been deleted

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BravoMyDear · 21/09/2023 22:05

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 20:50

No I'm here. I'm just quietly reading the comments. I'm not sure what else to say.

Go next door and say sorry. For your absolutely ridiculous requests.

I can’t actually believe you didn’t realise how unreasonable you were being as the words came out of your mouth!

Lifeomars · 21/09/2023 22:05

My neighbours shout and scream from 11am til gone midnight every day, they deal scrap from their back yard, they have broken the communal entry gate so I paid for a new one, then they broke the lock on that, they fly tip and chuck rubbish out on the street, they have about 10 people coming and going in a two up two down house and they make so much noise that I cannot use my back yard and sometimes cannot use the back part of my house due to the racket. Now THAT is what I call problem neighbours! The neighbour on the other side goes off to work on his motorbike at about 5amish, I vaguely hear the bike start if I am in a half awake half asleep state and think "poor guy, the mornings are getting chilly and winter will soon be here, I'm so glad I am snug in bed" before I fall back to sleep

Duckskitbank · 21/09/2023 22:06

Leave your poor neighbour alone and stop blaming other people for your problems.

Pebblesontheside · 21/09/2023 22:06

This reply has been deleted

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PuddlesPityParty · 21/09/2023 22:07

This cannot be real! You’re the selfish CF op! Jesus.

Lifeomars · 21/09/2023 22:08

Reigateforever · 21/09/2023 22:01

I am sorry you are suffering from health problems. However, I do agree with what Hiddenvoice said, change rooms, if necessary with the other people in your house, wear ear plugs and have a low background sound. I would add that maybe going to bed earlier say 8.30 like so many shift workers have to.

I have horrendous neighbours and can recommend earplugs, I often wear them when I am in the kitchen cooking and they are screeching and yelling in their kitchen with the door and windows open. There's a huge selection on Amazon

Stepbystepfan · 21/09/2023 22:08

Sounds like you have too much time on your hands.

therealcookiemonster · 21/09/2023 22:10

who on earth voted that OP is being reasonable? come on, fess up

PlipPlopChoo · 21/09/2023 22:12

Wait do you even work? If not why does it matter if you are tired?

Thegoodbadandugly · 21/09/2023 22:14

Neighbours is that lifeomars? From Amazon lol

RudsyFarmer · 21/09/2023 22:14

You asked your neighbour to change job to accommodate your long sleep 🤣

fitzwilliamdarcy · 21/09/2023 22:15

OP, you’ve lost your sense of proportion.

I have chronic physical and MH conditions and have to work or I’d be out on the street. My “me time” is negligible. I don’t love it but it’s reality. I don’t have “spare money” because I’m working, either. There’s a COL crisis going on.

Your life sounds difficult but you seem to have fallen into the trap of thinking that yours is the only one that’s difficult, and everyone else is having a grand old time, with no health worries, working lovely jobs and earning lots of space money.

Your neighbour is NBU and I think you owe her an apology.

TeddyFaces · 21/09/2023 22:17

If you had been my neighbour coming out with shit like that, I wouldn't have been able to tell you to fuck off for laughing.