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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call my neighbour selfish

457 replies

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:36

We live in a quiet street with about 10 houses in. I have mobility issues and also struggle with my MH. It's important for me to have as much sleep as possible so I tend to go to bed at 10.30pm and don't get up until about 11am.

Very recently a family moved in next door. They have 3 children who are lovely and not a problem. But their mother annoys me and I feel she is being selfish. She works strange hours and most days leaves the house to go to work at 4.30am. She drives an old car and the doors creaks when she opens it. She then normally sits in the car with it running for 5 mins before driving off. The father is fine.

I have spoken to her and told her about my health issues and have asked her to consider changing her working hours, replace her car or to park her car in a road away from the house. She said she was sorry that she disturbs me but she cannot change her working hours due to the nature of her job. She said they can't afford to replace the car and as its an old car she has to warm it up before going anywhere. She admits the door creaks and said that oiling is didn't help. She is not willing to park away from home and she doesn't think its safe to walk on her own early in the morning with no streetlights.

She is making me more poorly. I am now having to sleep a bit in the afternoon due go being disturbed and as a result am missing out on me time.

What can I do about it? I'm fed up of her selfish behaviour.

OP posts:
Takentomybed · 21/09/2023 21:01

I'm shocked that you could even think this is reasonable. Your poor neighbour.

It is awful having a chronic health condition. I have one. I an sorry you are struggling. But you are expecting her to emphathise with you but you are not showing any empathy for her.

Spirallingdownwards · 21/09/2023 21:01

899 votes and 99% say you are unreasonable.

TomatoSandwiches · 21/09/2023 21:02

I also think you need to talk to your MH team, your sense if entitlement is abnormal, you need help to gain some perspective and they may he able to work with you to find a solution within your control.

Mum2jenny · 21/09/2023 21:02

Imo the OP is completely unreasonable. I just can’t understand her point of view.

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 21/09/2023 21:03

Nita. Is that you? Hello Nita!

confusedmum2023 · 21/09/2023 21:04

this has got to be a joke 🤯

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 21/09/2023 21:04

I think people are being a bit unkind to the OP who, if we take the post at face value, is vulnerable and struggling. OP maybe you can try to be a better neighbour. Think of the woman having to get up so early a bit more kindly. Try to look outwards. I hope things improve for you.

PrimalOwl10 · 21/09/2023 21:07

You sound extremely entitled.

Jemimapinotduck · 21/09/2023 21:07

If this isn't a reverse, it is simultaneously one of the funniest and most entitled things I have heard! You really hand on heart can't honestly think it's acceptable to ask someone to change their hours, fork out on a new car or park away from home just for you??? That is bonkers! I have a neighbour who has a souped up car that is bloody loud and leaves at a similar time to your neighbour, never once crossed my mind to ask him to change anything. The mind boggles 🤯

Thegoodbadandugly · 21/09/2023 21:07

Mental health issues are not an excuse to be an asshole.

HowToSaveAWife · 21/09/2023 21:07

Move.

Nanaof1 · 21/09/2023 21:07

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:36

We live in a quiet street with about 10 houses in. I have mobility issues and also struggle with my MH. It's important for me to have as much sleep as possible so I tend to go to bed at 10.30pm and don't get up until about 11am.

Very recently a family moved in next door. They have 3 children who are lovely and not a problem. But their mother annoys me and I feel she is being selfish. She works strange hours and most days leaves the house to go to work at 4.30am. She drives an old car and the doors creaks when she opens it. She then normally sits in the car with it running for 5 mins before driving off. The father is fine.

I have spoken to her and told her about my health issues and have asked her to consider changing her working hours, replace her car or to park her car in a road away from the house. She said she was sorry that she disturbs me but she cannot change her working hours due to the nature of her job. She said they can't afford to replace the car and as its an old car she has to warm it up before going anywhere. She admits the door creaks and said that oiling is didn't help. She is not willing to park away from home and she doesn't think its safe to walk on her own early in the morning with no streetlights.

She is making me more poorly. I am now having to sleep a bit in the afternoon due go being disturbed and as a result am missing out on me time.

What can I do about it? I'm fed up of her selfish behaviour.

Cute wind up or you are so self-centered that when the scientist figure out where is exactly the center of the universe, you are going to be mad that it isn't you. Lord have mercy!

OnTheBoardwalk · 21/09/2023 21:13

Buy her a can of WD40. I agree the sound of a creaking door does go through me

rest of it, your issue. Did you really say for her to change her job and her car?

Sallyh87 · 21/09/2023 21:14

Assuming this isn’t a wind up @Fedupandgrumpy1,you need to figure out how you can improve your sleep. Your neighbour is behaving very reasonably.

Can you move room, sound proof better or indeed just get over it and use ear plugs (there are various types, some better than others).

Coconut212 · 21/09/2023 21:14

She’s a lovely person for not telling you to *

notahappybunny7 · 21/09/2023 21:14

You sound like a nightmare. So grateful for my lovely neighbours reading this.

HeffyAgain · 21/09/2023 21:16

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 20:50

No I'm here. I'm just quietly reading the comments. I'm not sure what else to say.

Having read the comments what are your thoughts?

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 21/09/2023 21:18

Spirallingdownwards · 21/09/2023 21:01

899 votes and 99% say you are unreasonable.

I think I was the 1%. It was a mistake. I’ve changed it now

notahappybunny7 · 21/09/2023 21:20

People have to go to work early! If you’d be fucked at being woken at that time tough shit, deal with it.

PorridgeOnToast · 21/09/2023 21:21

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:47

I'm not sure what a reverse is but I am being serious. I don't choose to be poorly, but she can choose her job. I wouldn't go waking her up at 11pm as I know she gets up early and that would be unfair and I would appreciate the same consideration.

People always say that when "reverse" is called out.

What do you THINK it means?? It is so ruddy obvious 🙄

But ok, it's not a reverse you say.

Just absolutely unbelievably selfish then.

Baffled1989 · 21/09/2023 21:23

This cannot be real 😂😂😂

rasellagirl · 21/09/2023 21:23

So selfish and lazy

Baffled1989 · 21/09/2023 21:24

@Fedupandgrumpy1 she should change her job for you? You are batshit crazy!

Callyem · 21/09/2023 21:24

Please, please do not be real. I just can't.

Syndulla · 21/09/2023 21:24

I feel sorry for your neighbour. Imagine living next to someone this self absorbed!

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