Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

[lnterviewWoes]

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

I think I’d tell her that unfortunately principles don’t pay the bills but jobs do.

Agree with this. If it was 3p Lee/Boris Johnson/Nigel Farrage/Andrew Bridgen/Rees Mogg/Pretty Patel (god I could go on) I’d have difficulty being close to you as I wouldn’t be-able to get my head around you supporting this person, but I wouldn’t finish the friendship, just ask not to talk about your job.

As an experiment, I'd lie to her. oh, actually, you'll never guess, a very similar job came up with the candidate for THINGS YOU APPROVE OF, and it pays 5k more so isn't it amazing?!

What does she do for a living? Can she vouch for the views of her boss?

Take the job. Friend doesn't pay your bills. As long as its not illegal or immoral I don't see an issue.

If it’s someone who ignored the covid rules or messed up the country while people were dying is that it? Did your friend lose a loved one?

Regardless of who it is, it’s none of your friends business

@StaunchMomma
hmmmmm now contemplating getting a job with one of them with the goal of gobbing or worse in every cup of tea I made them!

@OuiRagamuffin "I understand that ''morals'' is extremely subjective and appointing yourself the arbiter of what IS moral and what is not moral is worse than whatever view you hold!"

I don't agree, actually. I think there are some things that would be bottom lines for me. Using your example, I have acquaintances who are pro life- but I couldn't have a close friend because I couldn't respect or understand or accept her views- they are so directly opposite to my moral compass.

Your friend sounds like she's got good principals and has re-evaluated the friendship as your principals and morals don't align anymore. For me, it would depend on the politician but if my best friend started working for Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees Mogg or the like I couldn't see her in the same light anymore and I'd definitely re-evaluate things.

😂😂

Thinking of some of the names above: I used to work in those circles and I would be more worried about their mates and who they’re doing business with than themselves.

And by extension where you will be going in the world. I have to give my boss a hard no to some countries and regimes they wanted to send me off to.

Same

I would go with this view unless it was someone like Nigel Farrage/far right in which case I’d agree with your friend. If your working for someone invariably you’ll be friendly and exposed to their views and cause.

That's not your friend.

What are her reasons?

Take the job.

I bet it’s for the Tony Blair Institute. Go for it, OP - it’s absolutely none of her business.

Everyone on this thread is imagining very different scenarios

From working in a large organisation where a senior manager is an ex-MP with slightly different politics........
Through a myriad of other possibilities up to....
Working as publicist for
and actively promoting (and lying for) someone with extreme views that is continuing to publish those views.

The first is no different to what most of us do, the latter is pretty extreme and I would draw the line before this.
If your job involves facilitating something that I think most people should find objectionable and you don't see a problem with that then I don't think we could be friends.....

She's not a friend. Good luck in your new job 😊

if it was Boris Johnson or Nigel Farage I would be in agreement with your friend! Anyone else then go for it

I want a job like that, please send me the details if you end up taking your friend's batshit view on working for people.

Yes, definitely take the job. If she proves to be a petulant brat by saying anything more to you about it, that's her loss, not yours. She must be incredibly immature!

Haha please suggest this in the group chat to see what she says

It depends on who and what the job is.

If your work would be promoting or facilitating something she finds immoral or unacceptable, I can understand that. A vegan is hardly going to be best mates with a battery chicken farmer... some things are beyond the pale.

But if it's just a politician she doesn't like and you aren't doing a job that involves promoting whatever it is she objects to about that politician, she's being unreasonable.

Bloody hell some of you are sanctimonious!

Nobody’s opinions or values or moral compasses are superior to anyone else’s.

Why would a Muslim get a pass to dictate to their friends anything that doesn't directly influence them? Take the job, you're hardly going to be introducing your controlling friend to your new boss!