Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

[lnterviewWoes]

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

I suppose it depends a bit on who the politician is. If it's just that he is a different party to the one she supports then she's being a bit of a shit. But if he's an extremist of some sort then it's more complicated. I struggled when a very good friend of mine took a job with British American Tobacco -her role was basically looking for new markets among young people. We ended up talking about it and making it a taboo subject.

Take the job, she is not your friend.

Take the job. Your friend is trying to control you. Friendships should tolerate that people are different and make different choices.

If you don't take this job because of your friend's threat, then the friendship is dead anyway. You will forever resent her interference in your personal life.

Agree that she doesn’t sound like a great friend but equally if someone I was close to announced they were gonna work for sexist/misogynistic/racist/homophobic politician, I would question their integrity. Of course I don’t expect all my views to be exact same as my friends but it they were happy to align themselves with someone who is in direct opposition with my core values, I would be a bit concerned.

Sounds like your values are sufficiently different that maybe you don’t have as much in common as you once did. That’s life. People are different.

If you comfortable working for whoever it is go ahead. Your friend can choose her own job.

Was she joking? I feel like 90% of the time, this would be a joke; not real.

I also feel that it might be a bit naive to think you can separate from someone's personal politics that much. You'd work for a former politician; so you'd be endorsing their views to some extent.

Everyone's moral compass is different, and in your case, it seems that the benefits of the job outweigh working for someone political whose views don't align with yours. For others, they wouldn't. It's not wrong, just different. Some people work for tobacco and gambling companies; others wouldn't touch those industries with a barge pole. As long as you are comfortable with who you'll associate yourself with, that's all that matters. If she really does cut you off, she was never that good a friend to start with.

I suspect a lot more people would share her views here if they thought the politician was Nigel Farage, or Donald Trump, or Boris Johnson... If it's an old local town mayor, that's very different.

This ^^

Is your friending going to give you the increase in salary and pension which you'd get with this new job? No? Then ignore her interference and do what's right for you. 🌹

I would take the job. Give Tony my best.

It does NOT MATTER who it is ffs.

OP, if it's a job you were excited about, take it. Your friend will either continue to be a friend, or show her true colours,

I have several friends with dubious beliefs/associations/jobs. I'm close to the person, nothing else matters to me.

Your friend's morals are way beyond what I could cope with in a friend.

One of the most common things we ask people we've just met is how they earn a living.

If someone you don't know asks and you're in this new role, would you gloss over the details somewhat or would you feel comfortable saying "yeah, I'm Nadine Dorries' publicist"?

Thanks everyone for your support. I think I’m going to take the role, not least because I need the extra money but this has just really upset me.

Take the job.

Agree with this. Take the job OP, your friend can get over it or not, so be it.

The job may be independent of their politics but are they? It sounds like the person is trading off their career as a politician and their opinions and politics? So you would be too.
Ethically I would find that dubious.
It would depend what the role was and who the politician was if it was sufficient for me to distance myself, but I don't think I could take the job myself.

Haha 😅

Is it someone as far right and prejudiced as Nigel Farage?

I think it really depends on who it is. Some examples have already been given of people that could understandably cause deep offence and upset.

I'm assuming Tony Blair. I can't stand him but I'd take the job.

Um sorry she is not your friend.

Take the job, the pay rise, the experience and the connections. You'll be able to trade up later if you want to.

If you are genuinely getting a job with an ex politician, I would get this thread deleted.

If it’s hitler then maybe think again. If it is someone who has what is basically a difference in opinion in modern democratic society then go for it. People who engage in purity politics tend to be anti democracy I find and should be looking to themselves with a more critical eye.

If she gave that ultimatum, then she is telling you she values her political 'purity' more than your friendship.

Sometimes when people have been friends a long time, their lives take them in different directions, their views change and they grow apart. Sorry she is not the good friend you thought she was.