To think that no matter where you go on holiday there's always annoying loud twats

[SleeplessinSeattle53]

We're staying in a very expensive 5 star resort in Europe. Beautiful, gorgeous views, top notch food and drink. Sat here sipping iced tea and enjoying my book.

Then the family from hell parks themselves next to me. On the beers already, quite possibly already drunk. (it's early). Proceed to have very loud conversation peppered with lots of 'fucks' which everyone around the pool can hear. Do these people have no self awareness? I mean, I know I could move but I'm comfy now and why should I?

First world problem, I know. Maybe villa holidays are the way forward.

I've never booked a package holiday, or holidayed in a resort and 'loud annoying twats' really have never been a problem for us. Unless of course, we completely lack self awareness and are the loud, annoying twats.

Here are some places I've managed to avoid loud, annoying twats in the past few years:

US cities (Boston, Washington, New York) and National Parks (little cabins in the woods/by the lake). House in Cape Cod.
Villas all over Europe (Dordogne, Crete, Umbria, Languedoc, Northern Spain)
All of The Netherlands.
Chalets in the Alps (summer or winter)
Small Hotels in Europe (Slovenia, Spanish and Italian cities, Bavaria, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary- actually the Canadian Ice Hockey players were quite loud there)
Paris, Rome, Lisbon.
National Parks and Safari Lodge accommodation in Namibia, Botswana and Zambia
London hotels, hotels in the English and Irish countryside.

I think the key is avoiding package trips to big resorts, and English tourist-heavy venues of any description. We are off to Center Parcs in December. I suspect we won't avoid them there.

Hell really is other people.
Is it bad I don't know what a gite is? I thought I was middle class, but maybe I'm not if I've never heard of gites.

For years we have been going to villas and gites.

More relaxing as you are less nose to toe with lots of other people, who you would never choose to be with, during the summer hols.

I am under no illusions as to what a big and loud family we are and it spared everyone else from us!

I'm the quiet book reader but it's much more relaxing knowing your kids can let loose and are not getting on anyone else's nerves.

https://www.gites-de-france.com/fr

Have you ever been to France ?

I would have to disagree.... depends on where and when you go. if you go off the beaten track slightly off season and choose boutique hotels/villas then you can pretty much guarantee no twats.

aww.. I guessed 'F@#ks From Home..' I like my version better 🤣

I love 'em. See them as a form of holiday entertainment laid on by the management. DW hates them. The solution is a self catering cottage in the middle of (say) Dartmoor eating our way through the local restaurants and pubs for our evening meals.

I love hate these types too. I live in a touristy town and there are often Middle Class Holiday Dads strutting around in full gorpcore, with booming voices.

'HULLO! GOOD MORNING! I would like two of your VERY FINEST PASTRIES. and a FLAT WHITE with OAT MILK. Hum yes LOVELY LITTLE PLACE, THIS.'

They seem to need to be noticed.

Agree there are some really unclassy people about who have no respect for others regardless of how posh a place you go :(

Oh yes god save us from braying Holiday Dads. Padstow in August is their mecca.

You can avoid this by avoiding AI hotels. In my experience these people go for the 'free' booze so if you are willing to go full board instead (which is always cheaper than AI and then you can just spend the difference on superior drinks of your choice) then it cuts the annoying twats who seem to think that just because they're on holiday it's their prerogative to get loudly and abusively drunk and ruin everyone else's chances of actually relaxing.

There are obnoxious loud fuckers everywhere

I often go to small family run hotels and still manage to find them. If they aren't at your hotel they will be at the beach, or on the plane, in the restaurants. Even when I've been camping in the remotes Scotland they'll be there

I actually don't even mind them. They give me entertainment. They are usually British men, who for some reason have never been taught to use their inside voices. There's a variety of types, it's not a class thing. If you've never encountered them maybe you are them

We went to a lovely 5* resort in Mallorca this April. We chose to go right at the beginning of the season, when we knew it would be less crowded and it was great. Would I go to an AI in the peak summer months? Probably not. AI is only ever going to be the peaceful and relaxing experience you want it to be out of season, or basically, anytime the kids aren't on holiday! Then it's great. You have the run of the place, no queuing for food, less jostling for space in the pool, less chance of being next to the annoying loud person/people.

I did enjoy our AI but I do worry it would be a totally different experience say, in August. At these times, I think a smaller, more authentic hotel might be the way to go

@CarPour

They are usually British men

Yes, so true unfortunately. It's embarrassing. I cringe for them

Yes I think you can get FFHs everywhere.

Money doesn’t buy class, as they say.

We did go on a AI holiday this summer (5* place but not one of those super expensive ones like Ikos, Sani etc), and were lucky not to come across any. I think the hotel was quite good as it had a choice of pools and anyone loud probably want to the large “activity” pool.

Yes, that is my experience too.
German men are similar though.

I was on a train in Eastern Europe a while back and there was a British man in the same carriage mansplaining away to his wife or girlfriend at the top of his posh, braying voice, all about the history of that particular country. It was complete and utter bullshit. There wasn't one thing he said that was factually correct.

Great idea, but ideally the principle should be extended to all holiday destinations. Oh, and restaurants, public transport.......basically nobody should be allowed out without a valid Non Twat Card (renewable annually).

No, I can't afford it. But I've rarely (never in my memory) been bunched up with the sort of people you're describing. I do come across people in airports and on the plane/station and train who make me roll my eyes, but I know I'll only be around them for a few hours so I tend not to get majorly worked up by them.

We don't stay in hotels and mostly not to big resort towns, although it's happened from time to time. We don't spend a lot of time by the pool, maybe a half hour at the end of the day before dinner. But we're certainly not able to rent an entire gite for ourselves (single parent family) so we do stay places with other people around. Sometimes campsites, sometimes self-catering apartments, sometimes agritourism guest houses etc.

The places we go tend not to be very popular with English-speaking holidaymakers, and we mostly meet people from other European countries. I don't know why - they're readily available on major accommodation websites (booking.com and similar) and there are usually comments on the attractions/area on TripAdvisor from British people as well as others, we just never seem to come across them when we're there. So maybe some of the people around us are obnoxious FFH, but they're interacting in a foreign language so I either can't understand or am making mental notes as a language student.

The problem is that these resorts aren't 5 star. The 'star' system doesn't work anymore imo, you need to do much more research ti avoid a certain type of holiday maker. Money doesn't separate the wheat from the chav.

For a twat free all inclusive, look for a hotel with amazing reviews but a homely/comfortable style interior rather than high gloss everything.

It's the major downside of hotels and it's a real shame, because we love the buffet breakfast, the choice of swimming pools, the beautifully manicured grounds, the gym, the spa, etc. But all it takes is a few (usually British - unfortunately) louts to ruin the whole experience.

LOL, yes.

The mums tend to be the most annoying and twatty I find.

They think you're just desperate to listen them loudly and laboriously teach little Tarquin some Italian phrases in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence.

Or that you're eager to hear a long (and error strewn) lesson on ancient history for little Portia on the way up the acropolis.

The trick is to avoid any hotels favoured by Brits, regardless of their social class. Luckily, one of my good friends is Danish and has recommended several 5* Mediterranean resorts much loved by Scandinavians, and there's nary a Brit in sight. Everyone is terribly polite, quiet and not remotely interested in forming holiday friendships, thank God. There was just very restrained smiling and nodding and that was perfectly sufficient.

My husband and I got trapped at a chi chi cafe in Southwold next to the middle class FFH. Boden fleeces en masse and one child (a boy obviously) was sporting a pair of fairy wings, which struck me as somewhat impractical in the very high winds of October half term. But it was the endless braying, faux laughing and constant debating over everything to the nth degree. I theorised that they actually have zero to talk to each other about, so have to make a huge mountain over whether Rory has brown or wholemeal toast.