Friend comment on Russell Brand situation...Not sure how to respond

[Startingagainandagain]

I was messaging a female friend this morning

I was a victim of an assault by a male so called friend last year, which she is aware of.

I mentioned in my message that some of what the victims are saying about Brand resonated so much with me.

In her response she said something in the line of ''well he took on the establishment and now they are trying to hang him''...

This really surprised me as I did not have her down for someone who would fall for that type of nonsense and I am not quite sure how to respond to her.

My view is that the man is a creep and I believe the victims 100% and I am going to struggle with staying friend with someone who would put any weight on conspiracy theories. As someone who has encountered this type of predators, I feel strongly about it all.

Do you think I am unreasonable to think this might be reason enough to distance myself?

This is someone who I have known for a year only, rather than a close, long term friend.

AIBU to cool the friendship over this and let it drift?

A huge majority of rapists aren't convicted rapists. That's because of our shockingly shit justice system. It doesn't mean they are innocent.

He's not but the journalistic investigation took four years and the lawyers for the Times and Channel 4 will have been all over this, so it's unlikely anything said is untrue. Anyway, Brand can always sue if it is - he's a rich man and litigious.

Agree

Not sure what choice the 16 yr-old had when he shoved his cock in her mouth. A virgin who had no idea what she was in for.

💯 this

Exactly - and even though less than 5% of rape trials end in a conviction, less than 0.5% of cases are found to be false accusations. The problem isn't that the women are lying, it's that the law requires proof of consent from them, which is almost impossible. So the rapists walk away.

@Amara123

''I think it's ok to cut off someone who, when you shared how distressing you found the commentary given your experience, chose not to focus on your feelings but on Brand's supposed witch hunt.
The correct response was to ask you if you were okay and if you need anything or needed to talk.''

Indeed I think that is a good assessment of it and really matches what I am thinking.

Thank you everyone for the feedback and it is interesting to see the discussion of the topic with different opinions.

My decision at this stage is not to reply to her comment and I will cool off the friendship.

It is obviously something I feel strongly about, it really bothered me when I read her comment and it has also made me doubt how sensible a person she truly is.

Having had bad experiences with people I now want to listen to any early red flag that crops up and act on them.

he took on the establishment 🙄
No he didn't.

Exactly. An acquittal does not mean that the accused is innocent..

I maintain that the decision to actively disbelieve alleged rape victims without knowing the full context isn't just a different opinion, it's a fundamentally different outlook on life. It's not about the opinion, it's about that person having different thresholds that needs to be met before they'll develop an opinion.

Same with conspiracy theorists. Being a conspiracy nut isn't just an opinion. It's a sign that someone has dived headfirst into something illogical because they can't handle reality. And they can't perceive what's real or not. They can't process evidence or a lack thereof.

I wouldn't want to spend time with anyone in either group.

They don't know they're conspiracy nutjobs, they think they're wide awake truth-tellers and we're all blind sheeple.

Outside conspiracy nutjob circles, nobody gives a shit what Russell Brand thinks about anything. A public figure being a rapist is a public interest story though.

@horseyhorsey17 well he doesn't need to sue...if it's the truth he will be convicted in a court of law then everyone can call him a rapist. Until then i will not cast any judgment. channel 4 is a seedy television version of the daily mail that will do anything for ratings. Hardly judge and jury are they...and why exactly did they spend so much time investigating russell brand anyway, why not report everything to the police from the off?

@squareyedannie I understand your sentiment, but that is an incredibly triggering comment. Please be mindful that there are SA survivors in this thread.

@JayJayEl You're right. I'm one of those so should have known better.

What is friendship? Mutual understanding, not necessary to agree.

Your friend doesn't really know you. Otherwise she would have thought a bit more.

Cooling it is right. A fight is the last thing you need.

Having different opinions is different to saying

In her response she said something in the line of ''well he took on the establishment and now they are trying to hang him''...

and being a tonedeaf fuckwit into conspiracy theories and not having an ounce of empathy for their friend.

Bin.

They're journalists doing an investigation. That's how journalism works. Their job isn't to do the police's job for them. In fact, it sounds like the police should already have investigated this themselves but haven't. They're rarely that bothered about women who've been raped tbh.

As for Channel 4 being a 'seedy version of the Daily Mail,' erm, no. Nor is the Times a dodgy source. Both can afford excellent lawyers.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences. I really hope that this publicity about Brand makes more people realise how common rape and sexual assault really are. And how often the men get off completely free.

Shame on the numpties who claim that if he's guilty then he'll definitely be convicted. You either have to be incredibly ignorant or to have an agenda to make such a ridiculous comment.

If they are "picking" on him then there will be nothing to see when it's tested, will there?

That would be my reply.

Surely the degree of ridiculousness depends on the opinion in question!

I have ex-classmates/friends who genuinely believe that rape is "not that bad" because any sex is better than no sex. Passionate debate comes about when you have differences in opinions about things such as taxation, healthcare, foreign affairs etc. An opinion that is highly misogynistic/racist, on the other hand, is quite a different matter IMO.

I don't believe for one minute that you know more than one person who has that absolutely disgusting view on rape. Let alone has the audacity to actually say it out loud. If anyone I knew could even think such a thing I would fuck them right off out of my life. Vile pieces of scum. If this is true and you actually know someone that believes that rape is anything other than a heinous act can you seriously need to look at your friends.

Agree with you here. It’s an opinion/accusation at this point and I wouldn’t befriend someone for their opinion on one recent topic in the news . Trial by media is getting tedious now.

@horseyhorsey17 sorry just don't agree. It's all very much she said this, she said that...where's the proof? i imagine it would be very easy to get a number of women who vaguely knew and had contact with him back then to say anything you wanted anonymously (as they have done) for the right amount of cash. And you are right they aren't supposed to be doing the police's job for them- and they certainly haven't either.

I'm not completely surprised about the allegations because a few years ago I worked for a law firm instructed by him, and a few things were kept from the press thanks to his wealth. I honestly do believe that the current allegations have been embellished and certain things fabricated, but we will find out for sure when (if) he sues Channel 4 and the newspapers.

I have never seen the appeal of him - he's an absolute skank and a gobshite and it was well known that he was on drugs for a long time, so I will never understand why so many women threw themselves at him.

No. You aren't being unreasonable. Look after yourself. I can remember when the arsehole was telling everyone not to bother voting. I have hated him ever since.