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Original poster

To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

1000 replies

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 18/09/2023 22:59

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
GodDammitCecil · 21/09/2023 17:09

MartinChuzzlewit · 21/09/2023 16:52

Hmmm. I think there’s probably a question of the kind of company her DD is keeping then.

Show quote history

Have you even met any teens….?! Grin

Everything is fair game for sharing on SM. And I say this as someone whose youngest teen isn’t even on any, except for WhatsApp.

Come on, don’t be disingenuous.

And just a reminder - from the OP:

”I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door.”

toomuchforonewoman · 21/09/2023 17:10

ZebraDanios · 21/09/2023 17:03

Most married people are proud of their wedding day and have pictures that involved just as much, likely more, preparation and help. And no one is applying the same arguments. They had hair and make up, those photos will be edited by professionals. Getting married isn’t a skill. They look different to their everyday selves. Yet no one is sneering at the way people like and display those pictures, and feel good when they see them, are they?

You must be able to see that your comparison between wedding photos and boudoir photos makes no sense? You don’t have a wedding for the sole purpose of having photos taken - you have photos taken to remind you of the event. In boudoir photography - and indeed any kind of photoshoot really - the entire point is the photographs. You’re not capturing a moment, you’re creating a moment. (This is why - as an aside - I don’t always buy my kids’ school photos, because I prefer photos I take of them spontaneously in happy moments.)

I’d imagine most people display their wedding photos to remind them of the day they got married rather than to demonstrate how great they look. I certainly don’t look amazing in my wedding photos but they’re still around because it was a happy day that I shared with lots of people I love.

I still don’t really get the thing about excelling but that’s clearly my fault for just not understanding. But surely you can see the wedding photo comparison just doesn’t work?

Exactly.

Zebedee55 · 21/09/2023 17:10

MartinChuzzlewit · 21/09/2023 16:56

For a moment I thought SIL meant sister in law. I was wondering why her Aunty had her boudoir pictures hanging in her room 🤣🤣

Show quote history

Err, no lol 😉

axolotlfloof · 21/09/2023 17:17

I can't imagine wanting to display a similar picture of myself, and my children (boys) would be horrified.
There are lots of good reasons not to, but the cringe is the one that is upmost in my mind.

GodDammitCecil · 21/09/2023 17:18

And it’s not even about the DD’s friends necessarily sharing anything on SM.

But if you don’t think girls that age won’t be - ‘OMG, did you see that photo of OnlyFan’s Mum?!’ <hysterical giggles> - you’ve clearly never met any teens.

It’s not about them being ‘dickheads’. They’re immature kids. Of course they would talk and laugh about it, if they saw it.

LilyPondFloat · 21/09/2023 17:47

GodDammitCecil · 21/09/2023 17:18

And it’s not even about the DD’s friends necessarily sharing anything on SM.

But if you don’t think girls that age won’t be - ‘OMG, did you see that photo of OnlyFan’s Mum?!’ <hysterical giggles> - you’ve clearly never met any teens.

It’s not about them being ‘dickheads’. They’re immature kids. Of course they would talk and laugh about it, if they saw it.

Exactly. As I said before, some friends visited a new kid in Y8 at my kids’ school. Her mum was a model. The fact there was a big picture of her in her underwear displayed at home was known to the whole school and parents within days. Not necessarily mean or bitchily but it was certainly ‘discussed’ by people. Rightly or wrongly.

Who would want their child to be the target of that??

LolaSmiles · 21/09/2023 17:54

I agree - but that’s not what’s happening here. OP did not invite her DD to watch her have the photos taken. OP is entitled to her private space ie her bedroom, which is where she wishes to hang this picture. So by YOUR reckoning if you have sex in your house and/or keep sex toys etc in the house, that’s displaying your sexuality around children if they live in your house. Right?

That comparison doesn't make any sense at all.

Why on earth would adults having sex in private be comparable with putting up sexy photos knowing your child and friends will see?

Why would adults having sex toys appropriately stored away from children be an issue to anyone?

Like dozens have people have said, OP could have the photo up, and keep her bedroom door shut. Or if it's really that difficult to keep a door closed, could have them in an album in her room, or in her bedside table, or somewhere that can be put out the way when children are likely to see it.

If the thread was "am I unreasonable to have some sexy photos in my bedside drawers and expect my child and her friends not to go rummagjng", the overwhelming consensus would be that's completely reasonable.

What people think is unreasonable is the idea of hanging sexy photos up somewhere that a child will see regularly and their friends would, and that was before getting into the photos being on display and easily viewable but the children are expected to keep it secret and only talk to certain people about it.

What's so bad about adults keeping their sex life and sexy stuff away from children?

Original poster
Notgoingononlyfansyet · 21/09/2023 18:24

ZebraDanios · 21/09/2023 17:03

Most married people are proud of their wedding day and have pictures that involved just as much, likely more, preparation and help. And no one is applying the same arguments. They had hair and make up, those photos will be edited by professionals. Getting married isn’t a skill. They look different to their everyday selves. Yet no one is sneering at the way people like and display those pictures, and feel good when they see them, are they?

You must be able to see that your comparison between wedding photos and boudoir photos makes no sense? You don’t have a wedding for the sole purpose of having photos taken - you have photos taken to remind you of the event. In boudoir photography - and indeed any kind of photoshoot really - the entire point is the photographs. You’re not capturing a moment, you’re creating a moment. (This is why - as an aside - I don’t always buy my kids’ school photos, because I prefer photos I take of them spontaneously in happy moments.)

I’d imagine most people display their wedding photos to remind them of the day they got married rather than to demonstrate how great they look. I certainly don’t look amazing in my wedding photos but they’re still around because it was a happy day that I shared with lots of people I love.

I still don’t really get the thing about excelling but that’s clearly my fault for just not understanding. But surely you can see the wedding photo comparison just doesn’t work?

Fair enough. It is mostly in response to the pages of stuff about it being all about make up and editing and not looking like me. That does apply.

It is creating a moment, yes. But it’s such a reflection of how I’m feeling at the
moment. And that’s what’s important to me. And it’s moment I never thought I could create. I thought I’d be collapsing in giggles the whole time and it would show.

OP posts:
Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 19:04

It’s hard to keep up with all the BS on this thread, but I think someone suggested that I wasn’t googling proper boudoir photos or something. They ones I saw (that I described as tame) were literally the first ones that came up. Some posters are just desperate for the concept of these photos to basically be porn so they can justify their hand-wringing.

I generally think if you’re on the side of the argument that is freaking out about women’s bodies, you’re usually on the wrong side.

ZoeCM · 21/09/2023 19:12

I'll ask again: if you (general you) support the OP putting this photo up where her daughter and her daughter's friends can see it, would you support a man putting a similar photo of himself up where children can see?

PaulaZackMayo · 21/09/2023 19:20

Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 19:04

It’s hard to keep up with all the BS on this thread, but I think someone suggested that I wasn’t googling proper boudoir photos or something. They ones I saw (that I described as tame) were literally the first ones that came up. Some posters are just desperate for the concept of these photos to basically be porn so they can justify their hand-wringing.

I generally think if you’re on the side of the argument that is freaking out about women’s bodies, you’re usually on the wrong side.

Who is freaking out about women's bodies? I thought they weren't very good and I thought the one I posted was a lot sexier.

You are so determined to try and say women are being prude. I thought they weren't sexy enough.

The OP actually posted some better ones and were more boudoir.

PaulaZackMayo · 21/09/2023 19:24

@Myfavouritepenguin why can't you understand that a lot of posters will be very open in their private lives BUT do not want their children to see it because its cringe for the kids.

It's not hard to understand. Nobody is being a prude. Im not going to prove this by telling strangers in the Internet what I'm into with my Husband.

Just stop it.

Zarah123 · 21/09/2023 19:25

Predictably, there is another thread now where an OP has asked why cheeky swimsuits with showing bare arses are all the rage now at public swimming pools and everyone is telling her it’s fine.

But Op can’t have a picture in her own bedroom. 🙄

PaulaZackMayo · 21/09/2023 19:51

Zarah123 · 21/09/2023 19:25

Predictably, there is another thread now where an OP has asked why cheeky swimsuits with showing bare arses are all the rage now at public swimming pools and everyone is telling her it’s fine.

But Op can’t have a picture in her own bedroom. 🙄

Why are you telling fibs. They are debating on there too.

I don't care either way.

Why did OP even start a thread in the first place asking the question about her 13 year old Daughter and her friends? It's just caused a massive drama. Many posters were just saying put it on the wall where she just could see. Not burn her & the photo.

GodDammitCecil · 21/09/2023 19:52

Zarah123 · 21/09/2023 19:25

Predictably, there is another thread now where an OP has asked why cheeky swimsuits with showing bare arses are all the rage now at public swimming pools and everyone is telling her it’s fine.

But Op can’t have a picture in her own bedroom. 🙄

She can have whatever she wants in her room - it’s a free world, and none of us are going in there and taking anything down?

The OP asked - started an actual thread - wanted people’s opinions - on whether it was a good idea, given her DD - and her DD’s friends would see it. And given she’d have to tell her DD to keep it secret from certain people.

People - having been invited! - have responded to say what they think.

I can’t even get into the mindset of someone who can’t understand what every child / teen would prefer did - or more like, didn’t - happen here.

We’ve even had a 17YO (who was far more eloquent and reasonable than many) come on and try to explain it, for all those shouting ‘prude!!’, ‘pearl clutchers!!’, ‘out of touch!!’

But no, the thread continues.

Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 20:24

ZoeCM · 21/09/2023 19:12

I'll ask again: if you (general you) support the OP putting this photo up where her daughter and her daughter's friends can see it, would you support a man putting a similar photo of himself up where children can see?

Can you post what you think is a comparable picture of a man, because I think we’re all talking at cross purposes.

AliceOlive · 21/09/2023 20:28

And read the interview

NatashaDancing · 21/09/2023 20:28

Zarah123 · 21/09/2023 19:25

Predictably, there is another thread now where an OP has asked why cheeky swimsuits with showing bare arses are all the rage now at public swimming pools and everyone is telling her it’s fine.

But Op can’t have a picture in her own bedroom. 🙄

They are not saying it's fine.

Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 20:29

PaulaZackMayo · 21/09/2023 19:24

@Myfavouritepenguin why can't you understand that a lot of posters will be very open in their private lives BUT do not want their children to see it because its cringe for the kids.

It's not hard to understand. Nobody is being a prude. Im not going to prove this by telling strangers in the Internet what I'm into with my Husband.

Just stop it.

I can understand all of the debate, thanks. Literally no one has asked you to share your sex life on here 😕

OP isn’t sharing her private life or her sex life or whatever. We’re talking about a photo where she might look (gasp!) more attractive/seductive than usual.

Im really, really interested to see if anyone can find a photo of a man that is not nude and does not feature any kind of overt sexual act but that they would also object to on similar grounds. I’ll wait.

Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 20:30

Ah - I see @AliceOlive has had a go. You object to those do you?

GodDammitCecil · 21/09/2023 20:30

I went and had a look at the cheeky swimsuit thread. Everyone is agreeing and disagreeing, just the same as this thread.

Why make stuff up?

P.S. Boudoir bloke on sofa is gold Grin

AliceOlive · 21/09/2023 20:33

Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 20:30

Ah - I see @AliceOlive has had a go. You object to those do you?

Did you read the interview?

ZoeCM · 21/09/2023 20:34

Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 20:30

Ah - I see @AliceOlive has had a go. You object to those do you?

Yup, I'd think it was creepy AF if Boudoir Bloke put that photo of himself in his undies up where his 13-year-old daughter could see it!

PaulaZackMayo · 21/09/2023 20:36

Myfavouritepenguin · 21/09/2023 20:29

I can understand all of the debate, thanks. Literally no one has asked you to share your sex life on here 😕

OP isn’t sharing her private life or her sex life or whatever. We’re talking about a photo where she might look (gasp!) more attractive/seductive than usual.

Im really, really interested to see if anyone can find a photo of a man that is not nude and does not feature any kind of overt sexual act but that they would also object to on similar grounds. I’ll wait.

Show quote history

Seductive 😂. Yes that's what all teenagers want to see infront of their mates. Very Stiflers Mum.

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