To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

God who cares if the doors opens slightly now and again. Anyone staring in is a nosey fecker and it would serve them right if they saw something they didn’t wanna see. Your kids could walk in on you having sex - my 10yo DD did once. I never thought “I best have sex in the cupboard next time in case it happens again”

You seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that your opinion is fact. My opinion is that it was a great post.

‘What do you wear when you’re swimming or at the beach?

I think this shamefulness about your body is more harmful than you realise.

@Notgoingononlyfansyet those shots are sexy. My Husband would love them, my Son probably would cringe like fuck.

Only if she has nasty dickhead friends. The world has changed and so have the views of teenagers. Like I say I have tit paintings in my house and my kids’ friends just giggle and blush.

Besides it’s her bedroom they shouldn’t be looking in anyway.

How can I be ashamed about my body when I'm walking around in shorts and vest top? I've got a great body but Son doesn't need to see me in lace bra and a thong. Are you even reading my posts correctly?

Yeah whereas the use of phrases like ‘jealous because they’d look like a dogs arse’ will serve our daughters and their body image really well 🤣🤣🤣

#What do you wear when you’re swimming or at the beach?*

Erm, that would be a bikini.

Of course he doesn’t need to see you in underwear, but if he did it wouldn’t be the end of the world surely.

What do you wear when you go swimming?

The user name is a joke. I didn’t want anything I had posted before to influence responses.

I’m perfectly happy with body, apart from the bits that ache.

I have repeatedly said I entered thinking it would be a laugh, and that no man is ever going to see the photos. I might show them to a guy I was in a committed relationship with. But seeing as he would then have the real thing in the regular, I don’t suppose he’d be that interested. Male gaze is irrelevant. Unless you make the argument that looking sexy is ALWAYS about male gaze. Assuming one in heterosexual (I am).

Genuine question- How would a woman look and/or feel sexy and not appeal to male gaze? I mean? If you’re heterosexual, that’s the point? No one should ever feel obliged yo or be disadvantaged if they don’t, but assuming you’re feeling it and you want to? That’s NOT why I like them. They reflect how I am feeling. But I don’t see how the two can’t coincide.

It was OP who was worried someone was going to take a photo.

Don’t say it to your daughters then like I haven’t. Funnily enough my DD isn’t looking over my shoulder as I type everything 🙄

Does your son wear a blindfold? What if he made friends by the pool - would you just start wearing a bomber jacket? Because as you say they don’t need to see you in anything more than shorts and a vest right

Have you name changed?

No he wouldn't have palpations if he did. He's a cool kid. He just wouldn't want a (proper) boudier shot of me on the landing for his mates wank bank.

Hmmm. I think there’s probably a question of the kind of company her DD is keeping then.

OP isn’t putting her picture on the landing.

No I haven’t name changed. Who do you think I am changing from?

DD had some done - she was thrilled with them. She's got them on the wall of her (and SIL's) bedroom, but the photo frames have a fold-over thing on them, so they can be covered.😉

For a moment I thought SIL meant sister in law. I was wondering why her Aunty had her boudoir pictures hanging in her room 🤣🤣

Well I would be concerned about the friends seeing it because my daughter may end up being the target of mockery. I would hate to be the cause of that.

Can you read post before making assumptions. There is nothing in my posts to suggest I'm a prude or ashamed of my body. Quite the opposite. My needs don't trump my child's though.

It is OP making a song and a dance about the dogs opening the doors and potentially her Daughter's friends seeing them.

The world hasn’t changed that much. We had a huge poster of Michaelangelo’s David in our downstairs loo in the 80s that our friends all thought was hilarious. My cousins had a huge nude over their fireplace.

Posters / art, and - what was it? - ‘tit paintings?’ (do you mean nudes?!) - is all entirely blasé and been around forever.

All still very different from seeing your actual parents depicted.

Back to charm school for you @MartinChuzzlewit

In all honesty my daughters would absolutely die if I hung a close up pic of me clutching my arse and hung it on a wall in my bedroom. They are always in there robbing makeup and borrowing stuff, that stuff is MORTIFYING at 13.

Most married people are proud of their wedding day and have pictures that involved just as much, likely more, preparation and help. And no one is applying the same arguments. They had hair and make up, those photos will be edited by professionals. Getting married isn’t a skill. They look different to their everyday selves. Yet no one is sneering at the way people like and display those pictures, and feel good when they see them, are they?

You must be able to see that your comparison between wedding photos and boudoir photos makes no sense? You don’t have a wedding for the sole purpose of having photos taken - you have photos taken to remind you of the event. In boudoir photography - and indeed any kind of photoshoot really - the entire point is the photographs. You’re not capturing a moment, you’re creating a moment. (This is why - as an aside - I don’t always buy my kids’ school photos, because I prefer photos I take of them spontaneously in happy moments.)

I’d imagine most people display their wedding photos to remind them of the day they got married rather than to demonstrate how great they look. I certainly don’t look amazing in my wedding photos but they’re still around because it was a happy day that I shared with lots of people I love.

I still don’t really get the thing about excelling but that’s clearly my fault for just not understanding. But surely you can see the wedding photo comparison just doesn’t work?

Oh dear. Your comment literally said that other people’s daughters will (pardon me, WILL) pick up on their attitudes. Naturally you’ll agree that the same applies to you and yours. Poor thing.

It depends on the teen. I am a confident woman and like looking attractive/sexy. I asked my teen daughter about this thread and she said she would be horrified to see ‘sexy’ photos of me or her dad. I would respect that. Not that I have any desire for ‘boudoir’ photos anyway.