To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

I think you need to keep it more private. I agree with the PP who said maybe it's time to set aside private space for each of you. In any case, I would've found it so uncomfortable to see 'sensual' photos of either of my parents... at any age, to be completely honest! Asking her to keep secrets about your photograph is awkward, as well. Either it's 'innocent' or it isn't. If it's not okay for the neighbourhood to know about, I don't think you should expect your daughter to know about it, either.

IKR 😂

I am trying to wrap my head around the cognitive dissonance of ‘here is a very sex-positive image that your friends are going to see when they visit but you have to keep it a secret’.

If you are going to display it you have to do so with pride. You are going to give your daughter some very fucked-up messages around secrecy and shame otherwise.

Don’t display it.

first it’s empowering for you, but embarrassing for your kid and anyone else who walks past your open door.

secondly, if I was dating a guy and walked into his bedroom to find a photoshoot of himself in sensual
poses on the wall…I would find that weird. I think it’s odd to hang big pictures of yourself on the walls of your room. Very narcissistic in a way.

I have one in my bedroom. But it's not possible to see it unless you fully enter the room. I wouldn't hang it anywhere that DCs friends could potentially see it. I also didn't chat to my DC about it - it's been there since before they were born, so it's nothing unusual to them.

Put them in a draw. Don't display posing photos of yourself in your home, it's seriously vain and tacky.

Would you be happy to have to look at a sexy pic of your mum in her underwear and sexy props every day when you were at school?

I don't think it's particularly appropriate. It's the sort of thing to make a kid not want to bring friends home.

It's great that you are feeling sexy, but that isn't the side of your identity you show to a child. They aren't really equipped to deal with it.

It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be.

You can be FAR more than some heavily filtered, soft focus photos.

I really wouldn't like it if my mum had that on her wall and my friends saw.

My mum’s sensual side. Jesus. I can’t even.

I mean, she had several children, so I guess she must…but no.

No.

OP - do not display that photograph.

😱

Sure they can make you feel empowered and that is great but from an outside point of view they re always cringey and tacky IMO when publicly displayed.

Boke. Just that.

Really don’t do it op. Just no. For all the many excellent reasons outlined by pps.

I can't think of a reason this has to happen at all

There are some slightly saucy pics of me on the wall in my/my husband's bedroom too. Yes, the dc have seen them but they've not really noticed them, if that makes sense. None of their friends ever go in our room so they're not going to see them. It's fine.

However, is it possible to move one of the other pictures from the other walls, or get a standing frame for a shelf or bedside cabinet? Might be a bit more suitable.

Don't. They really are so tacky. Keep them for your bedroom wall if you must display them

100%. I can’t imagine putting a masssive photo of just me on the wall for just me to look at?

🤣🤣🤣 nailed it

Absolutely not. Photos of you looking sexy, for only you to look at? Cringe x 1000000.

Honestly, as she gets a little older she will be absolutely mortified and will not want her friends round in case they see it. She (and you) would be the talk of the school.

Our household has a relaxed attitude to nudity. DH chooses privacy as does my now tween but I will happily walk from bathroom to bedroom naked as will my 9 year old. When friends are round obviously we don’t. Are you going to take it down whenever she has friends over?

It's a terrible idea. It will be excruciating for your daughter and toe-curling for guests. Keep the photos for yourself.

My mum has one up in her bedroom. Me and my brother were horrified when we saw it - even as adults 😂.

I'm glad the pictures gave you a confidence boost and made you feel empowered but honestly don't hang them in the house. You don't say how old your daughter is but I'd have died with embarrassment had it been my Mum doing this and even worse if my friends saw it, no way. Don't do it.

Sorry, don’t do this. You may love it, but for anyone else, it will scream tacky. Keep it private for yourself.

That. I'm a mature women and I'd still die of awkwardness if my mum had one of these on her wall.

Let's be honest here. Boudoir pictures can be great for the subjects themselves. I get that they feel great when they see that side of themselves portrayed. But for anyone else they're just cringey. It's not just mothers..I don't want to see my friends that way either. The pictures are intended to be sexual with a touch of the erotic. Who wants to get a glimpse into that side of anyone you get coffee with or see in Tesco? And yes, if one of your daughters friends sees it, she's going to go through hell.

Put it in the inside of your wardrobe door, or somewhere else that it can't be seen accidentally.