To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

Honestly if you need a “chat” about it, or to warn her friends not to take a photo of it, I wouldn’t display it. Keep them for yourself, I am glad it gave you a confidence boost though!

If her friends would see it, that would basically be social suicide.

Given the fact you'd have to hang it opposite a door that will often be opened by the dogs, I don't think it's appropriate to hang it up as it effectively becomes "unavoidable". Plus some of her pals may see it which feels a bit weird.

Do you have an en suite? You could pop a pic up on there? Or you could have a pic done just for your bedside table?

If not then maybe work on making you bedroom a more private space, she's probably entering the time where she wants more privacy so maybe you get some more privacy too.

No don’t do it. My friend’s mum had one up and it was utterly cringy. I never knew where to look.
genuinely pleased for you that you found it an empowering experience. Maybe display small one by your bed (Visiting kids shouldn’t rely be looking too closely there) or inside your wardrobe door or something?!

I feel a bit icky about children being asked to keep secrets by adults, unless it’s about Christmas presents or something.

Oh but also OP, well done on feeling empowered by the shoot! I'd love one done myself!

We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it!

I can’t see your DD’s age but this is the nub of it for me. You would have to walk a very careful line between privacy and secrecy here and you run the risk of creating a safeguarding nightmare if you teach her to collude in keeping secrets for adults.

There must be a more private display location that you could find. Inside a cabinet or wardrobe perhaps, so you see it every day but it is not on display to visitors?

No way. Why would you?

I agree.

I'd display it OP. Why the hell not! I just wouldn't even mention it to DD. Bright and breezy. If she asks. You did a photo shoot. End of.

To add, I’ve seen a friend of mine’s boudoir photo hanging up, and it was a bit cringey, even though she looks incredible in it.

I just didn’t need to see it.

Everyone who says they don't want to see it, do you cringe at women in bikinis? Around children on a beach?

If they are doing sexy come to bed eyes and posing in them then yes.
sunbathing, swimming or walking around normally then no.

I think this is part of your adult life that your dd (and her friends!) don't need to know about. Keep it in a drawer or inside a wardrobe door.

I think it’s a bit weird and off tbh.

Firstly, how amazing you have had such a positive experience 😊
The thing about these shots is, it’s not even about having a child on the house per day, it’s that any time they are hung where visitors are likely to see them, it is just incredibly awkward for all involved. Add to that it is likely to be your child friends… I guess what you need to ask yourself is how you would feel if one of the children went home to their parents and told them they’d seen a picture of you in your bra and pants? Or how you would feel if your child came home saying they had seen it in another house? I would be extremely uncomfortable with either of those scenarios that so on that basis it would be a no from me.

You risk teaching your DD a pretty fucked-up message if you try to make her keep a secret about something you have chosen to display in your house on a wall that is visible from outside the room.

Hang it on the back of your bedroom door.

It's so fabulous you had such a good experience and it sounds like you look absolutely amazing in the photos!

However, I would keep a photo album for yourself and not hang any in any space where someone else other than yourself can potentially see them.

When the photos are of yourself it's easy to think they're tasteful and sophisticated but even though I haven't seen them I can guarantee they're tacky. It's just part and parcel of a boudoir shoot.

Plus, if any of her friends take photos of the photos ( which they will because they'll think they're hilarious ) your daughter will never ever hear the end of it.

I'm not doubting the photos are great but I think you sound like you have a little bit of wishful thinking about how tasteful and arty they are because the photos are of yourself. Don't fall for the trap that so many other women have fallen into when they display these god awful photos in the home. It makes me die inside seeing them!!!

Boudoir photos in this day and age?

Sorry how are the dogs opening doors?

I don't think it's appropriate to put up a sexy photo which her friends could see, nor is it appropriate to put the responsibility of her friends not taking photos of it on her.

Put it inside your wardrobe. So you feel great every time you open the door.

It’s not worth all this overthinking.

How old is your girl?

We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it!

“Here is something that Mummy is very proud of. However you must absolutely keep it a secret from Grandma. Even though Mummy is very proud. Yes, that’s quite confusing. No, you mustn’t keep any secrets for any other grown-ups, only Mummy.”

Display the photo if you want but you need to decide if it’s private or not. Don’t ask your child to keep secrets about something you visibly display in your house.

This. ^

If you are having to ask a child to keep a secret then don't do it. I have a friend who put her children in this position, and not only was it a cause di of cringe for them it didn't even stay secret long. The whole thing got hideously exaggerated and gossiped about to the point that at least one of her kids seems scarred for life.

How old is she op? If her friends are coming in and out with cameras I assume highschool? Would your 11+ yr old really care enough to tell random people?

Can you really not find anywhere in your room other than opposite the door for it to go?

If you were happy for everyone to see it then it would be fine. To hang it up so she has to look at it and then has to be told that it's a secret is completely unacceptable. Are you really going to tell say to your DD 'don't tell Granny about Mummy's sexy pictures!'. Don't be that guy!

Also, dogs opening doors is not unavoidable (unless your dogs can operate locks).

Would you like to see your mum's 'sensual' side? Would you have liked friends - and later possibly boyfriends - to see your mum's 'sensual' side? Do you really want your daughter and her friends being consciously aware of that side of you or would you rather they just think of you as mum?