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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to fuck off?

226 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 05:55

My uncle sold a cartier watch to my dad about 20 years ago for 2 grand, about 6 months before dad passed away he asked my brother to sell it on his behalf as dad was going blind and couldn't see the time anymore, gave me and my brother £500 as a gift. When dad was dying nobody on his side of the family made any effort or when he passed asked if there would be a funeral, nobody messaged me after, I haven't seen my uncle in 17 years and I get this message from my cousin I haven't even seen since she was about 2 before I go to work. Dad never promised the watch to him he was always talking about getting it back. Am I being unreasonable to tell her to fuck off?

To tell her to fuck off?
OP posts:
Mamasperspective · 18/09/2023 06:00

I would just say that your uncle sold it to your dad and it then became your dad's properly. I would then say that your uncle hasn't been in your lives for 17 years and the instruction to sell it was made by your dad so clearly it was not on the cards to offer it back to uncle. Then you can either tell cousin that they are welcome to go on a wild goose chase and try to buy it back or alternatively, just say the shop where it was sold has now closed down then block cousin.

Offcom · 18/09/2023 06:01

Who did your brother sell the watch to?

Mystro202 · 18/09/2023 06:06

Yanbu, your Uncle sold the watch to your Dad so he lost all rights to it. Your Dad had every right to sell it on if that's what he wished. How ridiculous of your cousin to want it back. They are obviously only thinking of the monetary value because if it was of sentimental value to your Uncle he wouldn't have sold it in the first place. Maybe your Uncle has omitted to tell them that he sold it to your Dad? Do they think he just gave it to him? Or perhaps your Uncle has forgotten this himself, is he going senile?

IAmAnIdiot123 · 18/09/2023 06:07

These people always come out of the woodwork looking for money when people die. 20 years ago that watch was sold! It's ridiculous.

blackbeardsballsack · 18/09/2023 06:12

She is being ridiculous. Even with the two sides to every story thing, you can tell by the way that she writes that she's a knob.

Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 06:14

I've given her my phone number and said I'm not talking about it on here but you are free to call me, I was going to say to her are u under the impression you're dad gave it to my dad or something. Calling my brother out is uncalled for he sold it on behalf of my dad, fuck knows who it was sold to all done online I think. My uncle was on good money years ago and bought the watch with a Christmas bonus, he has since lost everything and is living in a wooden hut type home, says it all really

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 18/09/2023 06:14

I’d blank that. What a waste of energy.

Hoardasurass · 18/09/2023 06:20

Ah I'm sorry op but you have a money grabbing manipulative trouble maker.
It doesn't matter what you say or do (unless you capitulate completely) you, your brother and dad will be thieves to her so you might aswell tell her point blank that she's talking out her arse and needs to do 1 and never contact you about this again

honeyandfizz · 18/09/2023 06:25

Hang on. So your Dad died and your cousin is bleating on about a watch?! I would just reply with "lol" and then block the loon. She sounds thick as shit anyway.

My Dad died in April and I would find this the height of disrespectful.

Changingplace · 18/09/2023 06:28

She sounds like a melodramatic troublemaker.

I wouldn’t waste the energy talking to her on the phone.

When the watch was sold it became your dads property, he clearly didn’t want to pass it back because he didn’t, end of story.

Sounds like the fact the watch was sold to him not given has passed her by, I’d message her back with the truth and if she carries on this nonsense I’d block her.

TheSandgroper · 18/09/2023 06:29

Cousin is possibly bleating on behalf of her - ahem - hard done by father (if I care to be generous in my thinking). It’s quite possible she hasn’t been told about the 2k.

I would calmly set her straight once and after that would take no shit on the subject.

Mylittlepea · 18/09/2023 06:29

Yep. Tell her to Fuck off.

Then send the grammar police around to her house👮🏼🤣

Coffeetree · 18/09/2023 06:30

I'm sorry about your loss.

Honestly just ignore and block. They're a scumbag.

ApolloandDaphne · 18/09/2023 06:34

I suspect her DF has told her he gave your DF the watch. You need to set her straight on this and get her to go and get the correct story from her DF.

rabbitbabbitt · 18/09/2023 06:34

It seems your cousin already has a plan of sorts and if you told her the truth this is likely to end in: 'you and your brother owe me money to cover the cost of the watch' nonsense. It's already somewhat obvious just going by the tone she's using, e.g saying 'it's disgusting' and threatening you with 'I never back down'. I personally would have ignored her and not given your number. You did fine all of these years she wasn't in touch. It's time to cut ties.

However, to play Devil's Advocate, is it possible that your dad did not buy the watch from your uncle? Could your dad have done something which upset his side of the family which is why no-one went to his funeral? You have the choice to try to find out more information from your cousin with a lot of back-and-forth involved or...

...just respect your dad's wishes which would mean stonewalling your cousin.

Lahdedahiam · 18/09/2023 06:37

MiddleParking · 18/09/2023 06:14

I’d blank that. What a waste of energy.

Me too

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 18/09/2023 06:37

I would absolutly her to Fuck Off and then block her on everything.
You don't justify or explain yourself to unimportant morons. It makes them think they are worth negotiating with.
Let her come. Then tell her to fuck off to her face and if she doesn't you'll call the police.

Lahdedahiam · 18/09/2023 06:38

Mylittlepea · 18/09/2023 06:29

Yep. Tell her to Fuck off.

Then send the grammar police around to her house👮🏼🤣

GrinGrinGrinGrin

buzzwordten · 18/09/2023 06:39

I wouldn’t engage by phone at all. If you have to keep it to messages, then you’ve got a paper trail.

Be firm in your response. Your dad bought the watch. Your dad then asked for it to be sold. There has been no contact for 17 years and this is where the story ends.

HighFiveOoooooIFeelSoAlive · 18/09/2023 06:39

She's being a tit. Yes tell her to do one and block. Silly person

Blueblell · 18/09/2023 06:43

How did she know it had been sold? Were they expecting to be left it when your Dad died? She sounds awful!

I would just send her a message and say your Dad wanted to sell it and you don’t have contact details for the buyer. I would just shut the conversation down.

givemeasunnyday · 18/09/2023 06:45

Ignore her and block her. If you sell something to someone it becomes their property - end of.

muddyford · 18/09/2023 06:46

Even if your uncle gave the watch to your father, it was still your father's watch to do whatever he liked with it. I would politely tell her it's none of her business, by text, then block. Don't engage in your landline either.

sorrynotathome · 18/09/2023 06:46

Sounds like your uncle has described it as a sort of “pawn shop” arrangement and now your Dad is dead the debt is cancelled and he can have the watch back. Anyway it’s nonsense and she is out of order.

And who says “cousin”?! Has she forgotten your name?! Ah… someone who is “more than happy to cause problems”. Ignore, block etc.

FreddiesTeeth · 18/09/2023 06:47

Tell her in very simple terms and in writing not on the phone:

You father sold it to my father for 2K so it became my father's property.
My father asked my brother to sell it.
My brother sold it.
We don't have contact details for the buyer.
There's nothing else to say.

If she persists, just block her.