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Original poster

To tell her to fuck off?

226 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 05:55

My uncle sold a cartier watch to my dad about 20 years ago for 2 grand, about 6 months before dad passed away he asked my brother to sell it on his behalf as dad was going blind and couldn't see the time anymore, gave me and my brother £500 as a gift. When dad was dying nobody on his side of the family made any effort or when he passed asked if there would be a funeral, nobody messaged me after, I haven't seen my uncle in 17 years and I get this message from my cousin I haven't even seen since she was about 2 before I go to work. Dad never promised the watch to him he was always talking about getting it back. Am I being unreasonable to tell her to fuck off?

To tell her to fuck off?
OP posts:
Everanewbie · 18/09/2023 14:50

@NumberTheory yeah fair play, based on inflation. I've been told a million times not to exaggerate. No idea of the appreciation/depreciation of watches though.

Totalwasteofpaper · 18/09/2023 14:52

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 11:45

I have no idea who bought the watch or even how it was sold, I just got a message one day from my brother asking for my bank details.. dad wants you to have £500 I sold his watch for him. I mean at the end of the day it's a watch, yeah cartier watches are a bit pricey but a 25 plus year old second hand one still isn't a fortune, even if dad hadn't sold it and was part of the estate what right do they have to lay claim to it? Her mother has started now telling me not to argue with her. I said I haven't argued with anyone.

Jesus your mother is as bad as the pair of them

excelledyourself · 18/09/2023 16:02

"please get back to me when you have time xxxx"

Surely this is what the "ain't nobody got time for that" gif was made for?

ehupo7 · 18/09/2023 16:53

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 11:45

I have no idea who bought the watch or even how it was sold, I just got a message one day from my brother asking for my bank details.. dad wants you to have £500 I sold his watch for him. I mean at the end of the day it's a watch, yeah cartier watches are a bit pricey but a 25 plus year old second hand one still isn't a fortune, even if dad hadn't sold it and was part of the estate what right do they have to lay claim to it? Her mother has started now telling me not to argue with her. I said I haven't argued with anyone.

I would just blick them at this point and move on. Arrogant entitled people with no class, manners or self-awareness.

ehupo7 · 18/09/2023 16:53

Should obviously say block 🙄🤣

Nanaof1 · 18/09/2023 19:36

Codlingmoths · 18/09/2023 09:01

Perhaps you reply: I’m passionate about family too. When my dad was dying I was passionately furious at all the so called family who never even visited. When he died I passionately hated all the so called family who couldn’t even be bothered coming to the funeral. Now I’ve calmed down and I just really don’t want to hear from any of these so called family who have decided they want something from my dad. Is that clear enough for you?

That sounds perfect to me! "P.S. Your dad sold the watch to my dad so it was his to-do with as HE wished. Your dad had no say it where it went or what was done with it. Now go fuckity-fuck-fuck on your way and find someone else to grift off.

Nanaof1 · 18/09/2023 19:38

ZadocPDederick · 18/09/2023 08:29

I don't think it deserves an immediate fuck off because your uncle may not have told your cousin that he sold the watch. So you need to tell her that he sold it to your father at full value and it was therefore your father was entitled to do what he wants with it. If she goes on about it after than, just block her.

I would guess she got in touch with the OP's brother first, hence her diatribe about the whole thing, including the insults about her brother.

She knows the watch was sold to her uncle, she just wants to bully her way into getting some money.

Nanaof1 · 18/09/2023 19:49

trampoline123 · 18/09/2023 09:39

Death really bring sour the worst in people sometimes.

Personally, I'd rely saying "this is really the last thing on my mind right now, my dad has just died and we're grieving. Dad asked for it to be sold, we can try and find out who bought it and try and out you in touch further down the line, but right now this isn't a priority."

I would never tell someone who bought something from me. It is NOT her business and the buyer has the right to privacy and the watch. They don't deserve to be dragged into her cousin's deranged plots.

GRex · 18/09/2023 19:52

It seems like you're over-complicating matters in getting stressed about this and forgetting you didn't actually give your cousin the facts. Say "Dad bought it for £2k, so it was his own legal property that he asked to be sold. DB sold it to X of Y address for £Z on Date, he could not know that Uncle Roland wanted to buy it back. We are still grieving the loss of our father, and do not want to hear any more about a watch."
Once you've given the facts clearly, you can ignore / block / argue / whatever, but it really isn't that hard to just give the facts and see if that resolves matters.

Nanaof1 · 18/09/2023 19:55

5128gap · 18/09/2023 10:10

How about:
Dear Cousin, if I understand you correctly, you believe your dad is entitled to some money from my fathers estate due to the sale of a watch my father bought from him?
If this is what you're saying, then please provide me with the evidence to support this, and I will pass to our solicitor to be dealt with as a claim against his estate.
I think its best we keep things to the formal channels to avoid bad feeling amongst family members.

Please don't do this, OP. That would be giving her an "in" this way and basically saying that what she says might be true.

Just shut her down, politely or not by saying; "The watch was sold to my Dad. It was his to-do with as he pleased and he did. The end."

NalafromtheLionKing · 18/09/2023 20:07

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 11:45

I have no idea who bought the watch or even how it was sold, I just got a message one day from my brother asking for my bank details.. dad wants you to have £500 I sold his watch for him. I mean at the end of the day it's a watch, yeah cartier watches are a bit pricey but a 25 plus year old second hand one still isn't a fortune, even if dad hadn't sold it and was part of the estate what right do they have to lay claim to it? Her mother has started now telling me not to argue with her. I said I haven't argued with anyone.

Is it too late to delete the message with your number on? Do not talk to her and block all 3 of them (poisonous cousin, aunt and uncle) after a final message along the lines of:

Dear [Name],

Just to make sure there is no misunderstanding, your father sold the watch to my Dad for thousands of pounds a number of years ago. There was never any intention that Dad would ever sell the watch back to your father, let alone leave it to him in his will.

You have no claim on the watch, which has now been sold and we don’t have the contact details of the buyer. If you bring it up again, [sibling name] and I will not have any further contact with you or your parents. As I have nothing further to say on the subject, please don’t phone me about this.

Thanks

OP

Hardbackwriter · 18/09/2023 20:09

GRex · 18/09/2023 19:52

It seems like you're over-complicating matters in getting stressed about this and forgetting you didn't actually give your cousin the facts. Say "Dad bought it for £2k, so it was his own legal property that he asked to be sold. DB sold it to X of Y address for £Z on Date, he could not know that Uncle Roland wanted to buy it back. We are still grieving the loss of our father, and do not want to hear any more about a watch."
Once you've given the facts clearly, you can ignore / block / argue / whatever, but it really isn't that hard to just give the facts and see if that resolves matters.

Why on earth would you give them the buyer's address?! What has this random stranger done to deserve being dragged into this? OP should be blocking these people not drawing more people into contact with them!

Olika · 18/09/2023 20:10

FreddiesTeeth · 18/09/2023 06:47

Tell her in very simple terms and in writing not on the phone:

You father sold it to my father for 2K so it became my father's property.
My father asked my brother to sell it.
My brother sold it.
We don't have contact details for the buyer.
There's nothing else to say.

If she persists, just block her.

Was about to say this. Stick to facts. Ignore their drama.

Nanaof1 · 18/09/2023 20:13

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 10:19

Because after my dad died, my uncle sent a message saying I'm thinking about coming over to the UK and dad said he would like me to have the watch.. he had previously mentioned the watch when my dad hadn't even passed yet and I called to inform dad was on end if life, at the time I thought you cheeky cnut! But when it was brought up again I said dad sold the watch about 8 months or so before he passed. My uncle is now in the UK visiting his sisters I saw it on Facebook last week and thought then he won't come see me as there's no watch. I mean even if the watch was still here it would have been left to me and my brother in the will. I asked my brother when it was brought up before if dad said he could have it and he said no uncle was always offering to buy it back.

Show quote history

So, uncle wanted to buy it back and may I assume he wanted to pay the original 2K to your Dad? Your Dad was smart. He didn't want his brother to have the watch and made sure it was sold before uncle could use sticky fingers. If he had taken it, it would have been next to impossible to get it back.

I am SO sorry that you have to deal with grabby grifters in the midst of your grief. It sounds like your Dad was very loving to you and your DB and a smart man to boot.

Nanaof1 · 18/09/2023 20:16

Anniegetyourgun · 18/09/2023 10:34

To be fair, if they're all living on the other side of the world it wouldn't have been that easy or affordable to fly over for the funeral. However, I note that they are prepared to do so to pick up an item that used to belong to the deceased. Also that a card or even an email wouldn't have cost quite so much...

Anyway, sounds like Uncle did want the watch back but Dad wasn't interested in selling it to him, Uncle doesn't seem to have the money anyway, and Cousin has a garbled (if not downright fabricated) version of the background, leading to unnecessary ill feeling. The more calm and factual you can be the better in this situation, but don't give more detail than you absolutely have to.

Not particularly relevant, but it would be interesting to know whether the watch would actually be all that valuable these days. Some keep or even enhance their value, others not so much. If it was worth multiples of what Dad paid for it originally one can perhaps understand Uncle's regrets. However that doesn't affect his right to it (i.e. none).

I wonder if I am a bad person for hoping the watch increased in value...a lot?

Funny thing that uncle didn't come when OP's DF died but is now in the UK visiting and would like to come and grab the watch.

GRex · 18/09/2023 21:29

Hardbackwriter · 18/09/2023 20:09

Why on earth would you give them the buyer's address?! What has this random stranger done to deserve being dragged into this? OP should be blocking these people not drawing more people into contact with them!

Show quote history

It was presumably a dealer, as the online dealers are the easiest place to sell it,.and the uncle can then buy it or something similar. What would be the issue?

Nanaof1 · 19/09/2023 00:26

Hardbackwriter · 18/09/2023 20:09

Why on earth would you give them the buyer's address?! What has this random stranger done to deserve being dragged into this? OP should be blocking these people not drawing more people into contact with them!

Show quote history

⬆💯⬆

You don't throw an innocent buyer into the midst of everything. Put a target on the buyer's back? They've done nothing wrong at all.
Also, telling the cousin how much Dad paid for the watch is not her business. That is the cousin's DF's job.
Don't give her any information but, it was sold to my Dad. My Dad had it sold before he died, as was his right since it was HIS.
The end.

Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 19/09/2023 14:21

tigger1001 · 18/09/2023 12:08

I think you just now need to stop responding. She is likely feeding off the drama she is creating. Maybe just one last reply saying - Watch was sold before dad died. I won't be responding to any further messages about it. Then ignore.

I did just that, I gave her my reply, made sure I didn't swear or show anger. Made it as clear as possible and then just ignored her. She carried on rambling but i didnt even read it. She got her mother involved said dont argue with her, I said im not, just told her the facts as she was accusing my brother of wrong doing. She got blocked by my brother years ago so that's why I was the victim of her rant. My uncle had no intention of buying it, he thought he could just say oh your dad wanted me to have it and I would have said oh OK uncle here u go.. no dad new better than that.

OP posts:
Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 19/09/2023 14:27

Nanaof1 · 18/09/2023 20:13

So, uncle wanted to buy it back and may I assume he wanted to pay the original 2K to your Dad? Your Dad was smart. He didn't want his brother to have the watch and made sure it was sold before uncle could use sticky fingers. If he had taken it, it would have been next to impossible to get it back.

I am SO sorry that you have to deal with grabby grifters in the midst of your grief. It sounds like your Dad was very loving to you and your DB and a smart man to boot.

Show quote history

I do remember actually my uncle came over to visit about 7 years ago, I didn't see him as I was suffering with terrible morning sickness and couldn't even do my house work so wasn't up to seeing him. If he wanted to buy the watch he had an opportunity then. My uncle is broke, he got divorced, lost his job his latest partner and when I called about dad he was living in a caravan then. He's just sick he's not managed to con his way into getting a watch thats probably worth about 10 grand now. He used to be flash, big house sports cars etc now has sweet f.a

OP posts:
nauticant · 19/09/2023 17:03

OP, do you think your uncle has misled his daughter with a cobbled together story about why the watch should have been handed over to his part of the family?

Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 19/09/2023 17:22

He never had any intention of actually buying the watch back, he kept saying dad said he wanted me to have the watch.. his daughter yesterday before i ignored her said dad was in contact with your dad right up until the end and he said my dad could have it .... this is an absolute lie. As I've said previously dad tried to call his brother and the number was cut off, this was many months before dad passed away. When I knew dad was end of life I got in touch with my brother and dad's 2 sisters to tell them and I had no contact details for him, I don't really use Facebook but thought maybe someone would see and asked if anyone had a number for him and I got a message from his ex partner who took my number and he called me, my dad was on his death bed and my uncle brought the watch up then saying "dad wanted me to have that" i was disgusted but didn't say anything and knew the watch was already gone, dad never said that at all and actually at one point he was going to leave it to my eldest brother but sold it instead. I know some have said uncle expressed many times he wanted to buy it. He never had the money he was hoping to get it for nothing. He has form for it, my dad used to have 2 toys called Charlie weaver and chef Cook, they were quite old but battery operated, he would get them out occasionally when me and my brother were little and we loved them, one was a bartender he would shake a cocktail take a sip out of the drink and his eyes used to move round and smoke come out his ears, one was on the antiques roadshow and apparently worth a few quid and he tried to scam it off dad.

Charley Weaver Bartender -- 1962 Battery Operated Mechanical

Showing how the Charley Weaver Bartender -- 1962 Battery Operated Mechanical Toy works. Yeah, remember when this WAS state-of-the-art in toys, lol. ;) Wi...

https://youtu.be/zSlOT-mpqls?si=0Iwh_9Ek3GkVSGk-

OP posts:
Americano75 · 19/09/2023 18:09

I'd have replied with

I just looked at my watch and it says it's time you fucked off.

Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 19/09/2023 20:24

Americano75 · 19/09/2023 18:09

I'd have replied with

I just looked at my watch and it says it's time you fucked off.

I wish I had just said go and give your head a wobble, it's a watch that was sold 25 years ago. Now go away.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 20/09/2023 05:55

She got blocked by my brother years ago so that's why I was the victim of her rant.

I think you need to take a leaf out of your brother's book, he had the right idea, block her off at source and don't entertain her rantings. There's not enough time in life to waste on someone like that

Biker47 · 20/09/2023 10:55

I'd tell her to fuck off, and I'd laugh in her face for the "I never back down" cringe, if she we're to "fly over there" to sort it out.