Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to fuck off?

226 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 05:55

My uncle sold a cartier watch to my dad about 20 years ago for 2 grand, about 6 months before dad passed away he asked my brother to sell it on his behalf as dad was going blind and couldn't see the time anymore, gave me and my brother £500 as a gift. When dad was dying nobody on his side of the family made any effort or when he passed asked if there would be a funeral, nobody messaged me after, I haven't seen my uncle in 17 years and I get this message from my cousin I haven't even seen since she was about 2 before I go to work. Dad never promised the watch to him he was always talking about getting it back. Am I being unreasonable to tell her to fuck off?

To tell her to fuck off?
OP posts:
Offcom · 18/09/2023 06:47

Ohhhh I naively thought she wanted to BUY it back and was just trying to trace it but I see everyone else got the picture immediately. Well you and your brother acted in good faith (and from what you’ve said about your uncle’s reversal of fortune your dad’s version is far more believable).

Good luck shutting this down quickly!

RosieMilkJug · 18/09/2023 06:50

Nice of her to diss your brother like that.

HoppingPavlova · 18/09/2023 06:52

I wouldn’t have given your number, just responded saying she’s batshit and you want no more contact, and then block her.

The but that tickled me was when she said she would FLY over. As in purchase a plane ticket. LOL. Unhinged. If she ever turned up, I wouldn’t let her in, I’d call the police and say a deranged person was on my doorstep.

Oysterbabe · 18/09/2023 06:53

FreddiesTeeth · 18/09/2023 06:47

Tell her in very simple terms and in writing not on the phone:

You father sold it to my father for 2K so it became my father's property.
My father asked my brother to sell it.
My brother sold it.
We don't have contact details for the buyer.
There's nothing else to say.

If she persists, just block her.

I would do this.

IhearyouClemFandango · 18/09/2023 06:53

"Hi X, long time no speak. Thanks for.your condolences about dad, we are all heartbroken as you can imagine. From memory, dad bought the watch for £2k, which was a huge amount of money back then! He then sold it a few years ago because he had no need for it. That's all there is to say tbh, he bought it, owned it for a couple of decades then sold it...it belonged to him and he could do as he wished with it. Please don't contact me again."

Totalwasteofpaper · 18/09/2023 06:55

Totally ridiculous message.
When I'm passionate 😂🙄😂😂

The bit I don't get is:
if it's cash they want...by the time they've "flown out" what sort of £££ do they expect? It's a used 25 yr old + watch...

If it's so fucking sentimental why sell it and leave it for 20 years to enquire????

People really are arseholes sometimes

This reminds me of my uncle P who sold uncle J land in 1990. P really needed the cash and asked J to buy it. J gave him 11k which was a fair price. A couple of years back P was super salty as J wouldn't sell it back to P who wanted it for his son to build a house on. J lives in a diff continent so a bit of a dick move from him maybe?
Noooooo.... it turns out P want to give J the same 11k for the land back... 30 years later and thought J was the tight one for saying no and asking for market price! 😂😂

I would just say
"My dad paid uncle dickhead £2k for it. It belonged to him, when he no longer wanted it, he sold it. At his request we helped him do this. We used auction house X.

It's not okay to harass me about this when grieving.
I have given you the info you asked for as a courtesy and now consider ithe matter closed. please don't contact me again"

Andddd block.

QueenRainbow · 18/09/2023 06:56

Wow what audacity! When your father purchased the watch in good faith from your uncle it was his to do whatever he wanted to do with it, be that wearing it, selling it or throwing it in a river. Your cousin is a grabbing scumbag. Sorry for your loss OP

sorrymissjackson23 · 18/09/2023 06:57

Was her dad (your uncle) hoping that the watch would find it's way back to him? I.e your dad would have left it to him or something? A bit cheeky since they never bothered with him when he was dying.

As pp said, grabby people like this always come out of the woodwork after a death. So classless.

Give her the facts but don't get into back and forth because these people thrive from drama. Sorry for your loss.

ISeeMisledPeople · 18/09/2023 06:57

I would say 'if it was that important to him, maybe he shouldn't have sold it. Has he sold it to a stranger you wouldn't be messaging them like this, so I don't appreciate you messaging me, and somehow blaming my family for a decision that your father made twenty years ago'

FedUpMumof10YO · 18/09/2023 06:57

Honestly??? Stay away from crazy.

This one is batshit.

BusyMum47 · 18/09/2023 06:58

FreddiesTeeth · 18/09/2023 06:47

Tell her in very simple terms and in writing not on the phone:

You father sold it to my father for 2K so it became my father's property.
My father asked my brother to sell it.
My brother sold it.
We don't have contact details for the buyer.
There's nothing else to say.

If she persists, just block her.

100% this! ⬆️
Rude, insensitive, money-grabbing chav.
So sorry for your loss.

Tombero · 18/09/2023 07:00

I like FreddiesTeeth response but I would remove “for 2k” from the first line.

You just open her up to claiming its value was higher than that.

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 07:01

HoppingPavlova · 18/09/2023 06:52

I wouldn’t have given your number, just responded saying she’s batshit and you want no more contact, and then block her.

The but that tickled me was when she said she would FLY over. As in purchase a plane ticket. LOL. Unhinged. If she ever turned up, I wouldn’t let her in, I’d call the police and say a deranged person was on my doorstep.

Agreed. Giving her your number feeds her drama.

I would have just said uncle sold the watch to dad 20 years ago, and dad re-sold it before he died. Please don’t insult my brother, we’r grieving our wonderful dad.

Ejismyf · 18/09/2023 07:04

I'd set her straight VERY firmly on the phone then tell her in no uncertain terms to never diss your brother who was following his dying dad's wishes- which if they had even been around then to support of offer condolences they would maybe have known what happened with YOUR dads watch then tell her to fuck off.

Mistressanne · 18/09/2023 07:07

I would have put an eye roll emoji and then blocked your cousin.

daisychain01 · 18/09/2023 07:07

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 06:14

I've given her my phone number and said I'm not talking about it on here but you are free to call me, I was going to say to her are u under the impression you're dad gave it to my dad or something. Calling my brother out is uncalled for he sold it on behalf of my dad, fuck knows who it was sold to all done online I think. My uncle was on good money years ago and bought the watch with a Christmas bonus, he has since lost everything and is living in a wooden hut type home, says it all really

She's absolutely nothing to you. Why do you need to explain anything, just delete the text and block her without comment. The word grifter springs to mind.

daisychain01 · 18/09/2023 07:10

Definitely don't engage in all the dialogue and explanations suggested by PPs, therein madness lies. Don't feed oxygen to this, it turns a non-event into a needless drama.

Billben · 18/09/2023 07:10

if I have to fly there to sort it out I won’t be happy

This is where I would put my foot down and tell her to fuck right off.

Dizzydahlias · 18/09/2023 07:10

FreddiesTeeth · 18/09/2023 06:47

Tell her in very simple terms and in writing not on the phone:

You father sold it to my father for 2K so it became my father's property.
My father asked my brother to sell it.
My brother sold it.
We don't have contact details for the buyer.
There's nothing else to say.

If she persists, just block her.

This is what you need to do.

Anotherrname · 18/09/2023 07:10

Tell her that your dad bought the watch from her dad. It wasn't a gift. Your dad paid for it. Also tell her that you are grieving and she needs to develop some compassion.

Oysterbabe · 18/09/2023 07:10

I'd worry if you block her without setting her straight that she'll turn up.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 18/09/2023 07:11

Sounds like she might not know uoir uncle sold it to your dad. Make it clear that he did and there was no talk of returning it and then leave it and block if you have to.

NatashaDancing · 18/09/2023 07:15

Offcom · 18/09/2023 06:01

Who did your brother sell the watch to?

What's that to do with anything?

Mdg247 · 18/09/2023 07:16

Don’t even bother taking her call, she’s practically a stranger

TheHappyCarrot · 18/09/2023 07:19

Sounds like an Eastenders plot, do people really talk like this?

Swipe left for the next trending thread