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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell her to fuck off?

226 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 05:55

My uncle sold a cartier watch to my dad about 20 years ago for 2 grand, about 6 months before dad passed away he asked my brother to sell it on his behalf as dad was going blind and couldn't see the time anymore, gave me and my brother £500 as a gift. When dad was dying nobody on his side of the family made any effort or when he passed asked if there would be a funeral, nobody messaged me after, I haven't seen my uncle in 17 years and I get this message from my cousin I haven't even seen since she was about 2 before I go to work. Dad never promised the watch to him he was always talking about getting it back. Am I being unreasonable to tell her to fuck off?

To tell her to fuck off?
OP posts:
ehupo7 · 18/09/2023 08:28

IhearyouClemFandango · 18/09/2023 06:53

"Hi X, long time no speak. Thanks for.your condolences about dad, we are all heartbroken as you can imagine. From memory, dad bought the watch for £2k, which was a huge amount of money back then! He then sold it a few years ago because he had no need for it. That's all there is to say tbh, he bought it, owned it for a couple of decades then sold it...it belonged to him and he could do as he wished with it. Please don't contact me again."

This is a good reply

ZadocPDederick · 18/09/2023 08:29

I don't think it deserves an immediate fuck off because your uncle may not have told your cousin that he sold the watch. So you need to tell her that he sold it to your father at full value and it was therefore your father was entitled to do what he wants with it. If she goes on about it after than, just block her.

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 08:30

Ramalangadingdong · 18/09/2023 08:26

When her dad died she probably had a vague memory of his valuable watch which she assumed was part of his estate. Now she has discovered that he “gave” it to your dad her grief/greed may have twisted it into something more sinister because she was counting on getting more from the estate.

sorry - the above is pure conjecture. I wouldn’t tell her to F off. I would tell her the truth. If she doesn’t accept it then I would tell her to F off.

The cousin’s dad isn’t dead though.

He’s living in a wooden hut after pissing away all his money and now he and his daughter are being vultures because OP’s dad has died and they think they can lie and get money from her for the watch’s value.

SoupDragon · 18/09/2023 08:33

IhearyouClemFandango · 18/09/2023 06:53

"Hi X, long time no speak. Thanks for.your condolences about dad, we are all heartbroken as you can imagine. From memory, dad bought the watch for £2k, which was a huge amount of money back then! He then sold it a few years ago because he had no need for it. That's all there is to say tbh, he bought it, owned it for a couple of decades then sold it...it belonged to him and he could do as he wished with it. Please don't contact me again."

Pretty much this.

tanstaafl · 18/09/2023 08:33

Hang on, if the relatives haven’t been in touch for years and years how do they know you sold the watch?

I think it’s as a pp said, they thought they had first dibs on buying the watch back. Probably for £2k as well!

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 08:35

tanstaafl · 18/09/2023 08:33

Hang on, if the relatives haven’t been in touch for years and years how do they know you sold the watch?

I think it’s as a pp said, they thought they had first dibs on buying the watch back. Probably for £2k as well!

Sounds like cousin has messaged OP’s db as well (hence the cousin saying bad things about him).

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 08:37

tanstaafl · 18/09/2023 08:33

Hang on, if the relatives haven’t been in touch for years and years how do they know you sold the watch?

I think it’s as a pp said, they thought they had first dibs on buying the watch back. Probably for £2k as well!

The uncle is living in wooden hut after pissing away all his money. He doesn’t have the money to buy a Cartier watch, not even at £2k.

I think him and cousin are trying to make out the watch was only loaned to OP’s father and so they want the money for the watch.

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 18/09/2023 08:39

I would just ignore her. Don’t message her about this at all. If she tries to take it further somehow you don’t want anything in writing. Just block her.

balltraponthecote · 18/09/2023 08:40

Absolutely tell her to fuck off! Your only mistake was offering to speak to her on the phone. She sounds a nightmare.

Wintersgirl · 18/09/2023 08:41

IAmAnIdiot123 · 18/09/2023 06:07

These people always come out of the woodwork looking for money when people die. 20 years ago that watch was sold! It's ridiculous.

Yeah and I bet she wouldn't be bothering the OP if it was a Sekonda watch!

LakeTiticaca · 18/09/2023 08:43

It sounds as if Uncle has been slightly economical with the truth regarding the watch. Does cousin think he just gifted it to your Dad?. Even if he did, it was still legally your Dad's property. Don't answer the phone and keep it to messages so at least you have a paper trail.
Oh and yes.....tell your cousin to fuck off 😁

butterpuffed · 18/09/2023 08:46

How does your cousin know about the watch if none of you have been in touch ?
I assume she doesn't know it was SOLD to your father . Put her straight .

2chocolateoranges · 18/09/2023 08:49

Sounds like she doesn’t know your dad bought the watch and that her father sold it to him.

she obviously thinks your dad was given it to use but doesn’t know about the money exchanging hands.

id be messaging her back to say that your dad sold it to my dad therefore it’s my dads to do as he wishes which was to sell it.

tanstaafl · 18/09/2023 08:51

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 08:37

The uncle is living in wooden hut after pissing away all his money. He doesn’t have the money to buy a Cartier watch, not even at £2k.

I think him and cousin are trying to make out the watch was only loaned to OP’s father and so they want the money for the watch.

Show quote history

There’s two things going on, whether the uncle has told his family that he sold the watch and how this family know it was then sold on.
The message from the cousin starts ask8ng if it was the OP or the brother who sold it.
I guess the Uncle must have known it was sold, probably because his dying brother told him.
Suggests there was more going on between the brothers than the OP was aware?

MoustacheTwirler · 18/09/2023 08:54

I would block her purely for her lack of punctuation.

QuickDraining · 18/09/2023 08:56

I love this idea, buy something off a member of your family, and then when you die, they get it back.

Perhaps you could just cut out the middle man, I'll get a family member to buy a campervan, and just gift it to me when they die.

Families go bat-shit crazy over death and wealth.

Lozviz · 18/09/2023 08:56

That's one entitled ***. Like your father didn't work hard for the money to buy the watch from your uncle. Cheeky mare. Let her fly on her wild goose chase and have a nice holiday when she comes!

Beautiful3 · 18/09/2023 08:58

I've read that text message, just wow the audacity of her! I'd explain that uncle did not gift the watch to dad, he actually sold it to him! So it completely belonged to dad, no one else. Dad asked brother to sell it, and split the money between brother and I. If she has an issue, then please contact a solicitor. The solicitor will laugh her out of the office. I cannot believe that's the first thing she thought of, when she should be sending you and your brother her condolences. Only bothered about the money, disgusting.

Worddance · 18/09/2023 08:59

Crazy

Codlingmoths · 18/09/2023 09:01

Perhaps you reply: I’m passionate about family too. When my dad was dying I was passionately furious at all the so called family who never even visited. When he died I passionately hated all the so called family who couldn’t even be bothered coming to the funeral. Now I’ve calmed down and I just really don’t want to hear from any of these so called family who have decided they want something from my dad. Is that clear enough for you?

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 09:03

Codlingmoths · 18/09/2023 09:01

Perhaps you reply: I’m passionate about family too. When my dad was dying I was passionately furious at all the so called family who never even visited. When he died I passionately hated all the so called family who couldn’t even be bothered coming to the funeral. Now I’ve calmed down and I just really don’t want to hear from any of these so called family who have decided they want something from my dad. Is that clear enough for you?

+1

MsRosley · 18/09/2023 09:07

Mylittlepea · 18/09/2023 06:29

Yep. Tell her to Fuck off.

Then send the grammar police around to her house👮🏼🤣

My thoughts entirely. Hopefully they'll pellet her with a handful of full stops.

Mikimoto · 18/09/2023 09:08

"There won't be any watch money, but here's a free subscription to Grammarly"

Twistyemily · 18/09/2023 09:15

Hi X. Dad brought the watch from your father many years ago. What happened after that is nothing to do with you and I'm not going to discuss it further. If I hear from you about it again I will block you.

Then stick to that. Don't engage, definitely don't set yourself up to be abused on the phone. She can threaten legal action, invent more tales about what your Dad wanted to happen, just don't engage, block. If it gets stressful report to police for harassment.

Oh, and please don't do stuff like this:
'Dad asked brother to sell it, and split the money between brother and I. If she has an issue, then please contact a solicitor.'

It's none of her bloody business to know that it was sold, or what happened to the proceeds. Don't argue the toss about it not being a loan. The past has gone.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 18/09/2023 09:15

Oh god that whole message smacks of "I know what it's worth and want to flog it on" chavtastic.
I would be inclined to say if it was a loan why was your dad asked to pay £2k? And you are also protective of your family and don't appreciate someone you barely know being rude about your late father and your brother too.

Then block and ignore. She's not going to fly anywhere or do anything. It's gone.