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Original poster

To tell her to fuck off?

226 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 05:55

My uncle sold a cartier watch to my dad about 20 years ago for 2 grand, about 6 months before dad passed away he asked my brother to sell it on his behalf as dad was going blind and couldn't see the time anymore, gave me and my brother £500 as a gift. When dad was dying nobody on his side of the family made any effort or when he passed asked if there would be a funeral, nobody messaged me after, I haven't seen my uncle in 17 years and I get this message from my cousin I haven't even seen since she was about 2 before I go to work. Dad never promised the watch to him he was always talking about getting it back. Am I being unreasonable to tell her to fuck off?

To tell her to fuck off?
OP posts:
Jjzoom · 18/09/2023 07:20

“If I have to fly there” sounds like a threat. And “your brother is a different story” could’ve stayed in her damn head.
“my wonderful dad or whatever she said” like your supposed to take pity. She needs to get over herself and leave y’all alone.

WowOK · 18/09/2023 07:21

FreddiesTeeth · 18/09/2023 06:47

Tell her in very simple terms and in writing not on the phone:

You father sold it to my father for 2K so it became my father's property.
My father asked my brother to sell it.
My brother sold it.
We don't have contact details for the buyer.
There's nothing else to say.

If she persists, just block her.

This plus....

Selling your own property is not disgusting. It's disgusting when some dies and the vultures come out trying to pick over that person's assets. Which they have no legitimate claim to. Now Fuck off.

I'm sorry for your loss @thecatsarecrazy.

Zonder · 18/09/2023 07:23

It's taken years. If it was that important they would have been in touch long ago.

I bet she doesn't know the watch was sold to your dad.

wildwestpioneer · 18/09/2023 07:25

It couldn't have been that special to your uncle if he sold it to your Dad, so it was your Dads to do with what he wanted., and he's had 20 years to save up to buy it back, then tell him to fuck off!

NowWhattt · 18/09/2023 07:27

IAmAnIdiot123 · 18/09/2023 06:07

These people always come out of the woodwork looking for money when people die. 20 years ago that watch was sold! It's ridiculous.

Yeah this ☝️

MikeRafone · 18/09/2023 07:29

The crux of it is your uncle is now on the bare bones and your cousin has decided that the watch wasn’t sold to your father.

id reply

not sure why you think my father or brother can’t sell an item they paid decent cash for, but the watch was sold fair & square on both occasions.

NowWhattt · 18/09/2023 07:30

Hoardasurass · 18/09/2023 06:20

Ah I'm sorry op but you have a money grabbing manipulative trouble maker.
It doesn't matter what you say or do (unless you capitulate completely) you, your brother and dad will be thieves to her so you might aswell tell her point blank that she's talking out her arse and needs to do 1 and never contact you about this again

Excellent advice.

AlisonDonut · 18/09/2023 07:34

I would just say in writing 'from what I remember uncle sold it to dad who asked brother to sell it when he lost his sight. I know nothing more. So flying out here isn't going to help. If it was sentimental then your dad would never have sold it so perhaps talk to him?'

randomusernam · 18/09/2023 07:36

I would reply with - the watch was sold to my dad by your uncle and was therefore dads. He asked us to sell it before he died which he was within his right to do because he paid uncle for it a long time ago. I'm not sure it is now possible to get the watch back and even if it was I'd expect the payment for the watch made to be returned with an increase to cover inflation over the last 20 years. I'm really disappointed that this is the first contact I've had with you since dad died and rather than passing on condolences you have chosen to try and get assets back which aren't yours to begin with.

Pipsquiggle · 18/09/2023 07:36

FreddiesTeeth · 18/09/2023 06:47

Tell her in very simple terms and in writing not on the phone:

You father sold it to my father for 2K so it became my father's property.
My father asked my brother to sell it.
My brother sold it.
We don't have contact details for the buyer.
There's nothing else to say.

If she persists, just block her.

This plus

No one has been in touch with my dad. Had my dad known his brother wanted it I am sure he could have sold it to him. Sounds like Uncle X never asked for an opportunity to buy it from my dad in X years

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 07:37

I’m very angry to hear about this and the upset it has caused my wonderful dad

She’s bloody insensitive to talk about her wonderful dad when you’ve lost yours.

She doesn’t express a word of grief for your dad, just anger at missing out on material things. What a bitch.

Completleybonkers · 18/09/2023 07:38

Whatever you don't tell her to call you, it's just creating more drama.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 18/09/2023 07:39

I'd reply back "you hear stories about money grubbers coming out of the woodwork when someone dies, I never thought you were the type. The watch was sold to my dad, my dad sold it a few months back via my brother. It's nothing to do with you. If you've not got anything nice to say, leave me and Bro alone".

PurBal · 18/09/2023 07:40

Sounds like you’ve already replied but if not “don’t know anything about a watch, sorry”.

Bubblepopelectric · 18/09/2023 07:42

@thecatsarecrazy firstly sorry for your loss and secondly ignore it, they aren't entitled to it otherwise they would of made a contract that once anything happened to your dad they get it back, if this never happened then that watch is entirely your dad's property expecially after selling it to him, he can do whatever he likes with it.

Let them crack on, people like that only ever come out of the woodwork when money is involved they sound like a bunch of wastes. Block her and anyone else who has the audacity to think they can have something that clearly isn't theirs.

IncompleteSenten · 18/09/2023 07:43

It would be very foolish to move this conversation to the phone. You need it kept in writing.

Watch was sold to my dad and when someone buys something it becomes their property. There's nothing more to discuss. lose my number

HaddawayAndShite · 18/09/2023 07:46

just disgusting behaviour to be honest family shouldn’t do that shit to each other
What, like ignore their cousins and that entire side of the FAMILY when their uncle dies. I’d be telling her more than fuck off to be honest OP.

I’m sorry for your loss Flowers

Rainbow1901 · 18/09/2023 07:47

Just tell them your Dad sold it before he died. They don't need to know that you received any money from the sale!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 18/09/2023 07:48

Has the watch already been sold? If not, I'd offer to sell it back.

Your dad bought it, it was his.

It's always a good idea to not sell things you want to keep.

WowOK · 18/09/2023 07:49

Memorialise everything in writing. Don't talk on the phone because you might need evidence of the conversation in the future. Someone who is so delusional that they would made demands off someone who is grieving (and grow around accusations) is delusional enough to try small claims court.

PortalooSunset · 18/09/2023 07:53

I'd imagine that her dad has told her he let your dad have it, and completely neglected to mention that actual cash changed hands.

I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

Tinkerbyebye · 18/09/2023 07:54

I would just go back and say Uncle sold it to my dad. That makes it my dads property to do as he wishes. Stop bothering me about it

Handcreamqueen · 18/09/2023 07:54

Send her a message asking her to stand back and to take a good look at just what she has sent you.

Explain to her that no sane person would think her request is reasonable and it makes her look like a desperate, money grabbing bitch and you also don’t take lightly threats of her ‘having to fly over’.

Your father purchased the watch making it 100% his property, your uncle gave up that privilege the moment her sold it. Would she be asking for it back if he had sold it to a stranger?

I would cut all ties and contact with her, the fact that she hasn’t even acknowledged you are all grieving speaks volumes.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 18/09/2023 07:54

I'm cringing for her. This is so obviously about money.

I would only send a short reply. Something like, 'Dad bought the watch from your Dad''. I would not add anything like it was his to dispose of as he wished. That is clearly implied. Let her work it out for herself.

She's embarrassing herself.

Twiglets1 · 18/09/2023 07:55

It was your Dads watch, they no longer have any say in it. I would just ignore the message, disgusting.