Should i let 13 year old dd wear false lashes to school?

[EyelashConundrum]

Dd is 13, and has started wearing stick on lashes to school. They are not super heavy spidery ones, but they do change the way her eyes look. She bought them with her own money in town with friends.

Im really torn between letting her wear them (school allows it, all her friends wear them and she obviously wants to fit in, she's 13 and is trying to find her own style, etc).

But then false eyelashes just seem so unnecessary for 13 year olds who are going to spend the day sitting in maths and geography. And my heart breaks that modern beauty standards make her feel the need to conform and wear this level of adornment.

Its a choice between being the authoritarian mother who forbids it because its just excessive in my opinion. But equally i remember being 13 and arguing with my parents that my thick orange foundation was an absolute necessity and they couldn't possibly understand what its like to be a teenager.

Ive allowed voting

YABU - Let her wear them. Its not doing any harm, doesn't disrupt her learning and helps her to feel confident.

YANBU - Absolutely no way should i let my 13 year old leave the house wearing these ridiculous things.

I would say she can wear them on weekends but not to school..
I personally wouldn't let my daughter wear them until 16 but she could use mascara from 13. I think they look awful I'm surprised school allows it.

Good morning. I'm mum of 14y.o. teenager. She is in y.10 high school. School not allow fake eyelashes but my daughter (not only her ofcourse) is wearing them since begging of school. If we count she is fourth year in school and never really had a problem because eyelashes but this year somehow we need to be in school every week nearly because they have problem with her. She has a very bad past years in school (bullied etc) and this year when she is fine school is making problems with her fake eyelashes. We even went to doctor and she has a paper about her filling more comfortable with eyelashes and about our concerns is she has to remove them she will stop coming to school because she fills much more comfortable in eyelashes. She is afraid children will laugh from her if she will not wear eyelashes. After letter from doctor for 3weeks everything was ok and they even said we accepted the letter but later suddenly they started to fight with her again. They don't want to suspend her but are sending her to isolation. But for me its looks like depends who is in school (teachers) because my daughter says actually is one teacher who is chasing her. Any advice? I don't know how to talk with school any more because school help us alot in past years but this time I blame school for what is happening because how I can explain to teenager she can't have eyelashes when she was wearing them for last 3!!years in school and still is some girls who are wearing them in her year and year 11 especially. Only what school is saying is a school rules that don't have nothing different to say act9.today school called again and next week I'm going to visit them but to be honest I don't know what to say. Any advice? For me it's a little discrimination because why another girls are wearing them and way how they talk to my daughter sometimes they make her cry and now maybe she doesn't want to go to school because of the teachers... thank you for reading I'm desperate for any advice.

Should a 13 yr old be wearing makeup at all? I think not, and would make her clean it off her face before she went out of the house.

You’ve brought up a really old thread and it would be better to start a new one as you’ll get a range of responses. It sounds as if your dd is having real self esteem issues here and the anxiety will probably get worse in year 11 as GCSE year is tough. Can you compromise with your dd that she wears natural looking falsies and changes them to long ones for the weekend?

My dd is a private school so they’re less strict albeit we did have an issue with the lashes in year 11. I emailed the head of year (HOY) and said dd is really struggling with this one as her appearance and anxiety are linked. I said that she felt she was being singled out when there were other girls in her year wearing false eyelashes and according to her they were not being challenged. Schools have a policy of everyone being treated the same so they have to address this one. The HOY responded that as long as dd is making an effort to wear less obvious ones (ie shorter, not so bushy), they will let her wear them. This is what dd did.

Perhaps school will compromise with you if you explain the options you can see is continue as she is with iso, which is leading to school refusal and ask if it is that important that they will allow her to fail her exams over and please if you can get her to compromise, will they compromise too. And I would also say that your dd feels that she has been targeted as there are other girls in year 10 and many in year 11, who are wearing them and she hasn’t seen them join her in iso for this.

I know this appearance thing sounds extreme to some people. It was the same for my dd. I will also warn you my dd also developed anorexia so ensure your dd is eating lunch at school every day as this was the first sign I just didn’t realise it at the time.

Zombie

Misses the point but aren’t they damaging her actual lashes more? She will end up with none.

I think it’ll be hard for you to take a stance when all her friends are wearing them, if that’s the only problem I’d probably let it go.

I would imagine the school hates them and has tried to ban them. But the girls keep wearing them and when the school takes action the parents come in moan about their children's human rights. Sadly schools lose battles like this continuously due to poor parenting. This then creates problems and battles for good parents.

To be honest, at 13 I'd have taken them off her if she bought them. She's a child.

Amazed if school are actually allowing it, i think its more likely they struggle to police who is & isn't wearing them and your DD is relying on not being pulled up on it.