Should i let 13 year old dd wear false lashes to school?

[EyelashConundrum]

Dd is 13, and has started wearing stick on lashes to school. They are not super heavy spidery ones, but they do change the way her eyes look. She bought them with her own money in town with friends.

Im really torn between letting her wear them (school allows it, all her friends wear them and she obviously wants to fit in, she's 13 and is trying to find her own style, etc).

But then false eyelashes just seem so unnecessary for 13 year olds who are going to spend the day sitting in maths and geography. And my heart breaks that modern beauty standards make her feel the need to conform and wear this level of adornment.

Its a choice between being the authoritarian mother who forbids it because its just excessive in my opinion. But equally i remember being 13 and arguing with my parents that my thick orange foundation was an absolute necessity and they couldn't possibly understand what its like to be a teenager.

Ive allowed voting

YABU - Let her wear them. Its not doing any harm, doesn't disrupt her learning and helps her to feel confident.

YANBU - Absolutely no way should i let my 13 year old leave the house wearing these ridiculous things.

And what would be gained by the school banning them?

MN is a funny old place. Its Monday morning and I've already doomed my 13 year old to a life of abject failure by allowing the lashes today.

It is excessive, they don't need them and they do look daft. But they all seem to wear them (where I am), the school don't seem arsed, she buys them herself and I figure that the less fuss I make, the less she'll dig her heels in.

I've chosen not to make lashes the hill I die on, and I'm ok with that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh yes I must remember to tell the examiners who awarded my PhD that they should rescind it based on my eyelash wearing in the early 2000's.

Reading this thread it seems like most schools aren't as strict as DS's was, they rang me at work about his nail varnish, I don't think he had any other makeup on, maybe the teachers don't notice the false eyelashes as much

Pick your battles. She's 13? It's only just begun

You think 😁😁😁

I think at 13 your daughter is just experimenting with her own style and understandably wanting to fit in.
I think that if it's allowed then I would also allow it. Like others have said, pick your battles.
Overly strict parents raise sneaky children.
I remember experimenting with false tan when I was about 14. My mum never shamed me, she saw the mess and helped me pick what was safe to use and how to use it etc.

I think it's very easy for us parents to forget what it's actually like being that age.

Personally I wouldn't allow it. I am pretty appalled schools are allowing it tbh. DD's school was no anything, jewellery, make-up, hair dye, nail varnish, nothing. Wear what you like outside of school, but inside non negotiable.

Maybe we need more honesty with our kids. It looks crap, tell them so. They are also made of plastic, bad for the environment, or real hair bought from desperately poor Asians. Neither is very appealing. Spend more, and you are looking at mink. Not great options tbh.

Yeah, because teenagers definitely hold their parents' opinion on what looks crap in such high regard 🤣

I wouldn't want my dd12 to wear them. She's never asked and isn't a thing with her peers. I wear them but I wear them for a night then take them off. I can't see how it is hygienic to wear stick on lashes for a full week. Does she take them off everynight to wash?

Thankfully dd school are very strict- no make up, no nail polish (even clear), no jewellery (even studs). Removes that battle every day.

My daughter is 14 and wears them to school. The school allow them as long as they are natural looking. I embrace it. She's finding out who she is and experimenting with makeup. All her friends wear them and I'm sure next month she will be obsessing over something else. I really can't spend the next four years policing her make up. She will only resent me and do it anyway. I looked like Madonna in the 80s when I was her age. Really heavy make up!!

Dts wear them, I don't like them but I let it go. My mum didn't like my plucked to nothing eyebrows in the 90s, or sun ind hair. At least the eyelashes are instantly fixable!

When my daughter was in Yr 7 or 8, it was the fashion to have really heavy drawn on eyebrows. I mean really thick, heavy eyebrows, they looked like two slugs sitting on her face. Whilst I generally agree with 'pick your battles' , I didn't allow her to go to school like that. She was angry with me at the time, but now looks back at photos of herself at that time and she is mortified and thanks me for trying to stop her making a fool of herself.

More than me
Its not an age thing

I wouldn't allow it either. Like pps I can't believe a school would allow it.

My dd and friends say that they're chavvy (tacky?) and they wouldn't wear them. They only wear them for stage (lots do the after school dance and performing arts).

I think she's just experimenting with her style, they weren't around when we were at school but if they were, I'm sure we'd be trying them.

If it were my daughter I wouldn't like it, but that's because I don't really like them unless they are done really well and look natural. However saying that, pick your battles, it's really not the end of the world.

I do this too, but she´s 5. Judging by the ridiculous lenghts of skirts I see on 13 year old neigbours of ours, it won´t last long.

I'd come down on the 'pick your battles' side. Not overly dramatic false eyelashes are okay if the school is allowing it. I hate the spider's leg ones on all ages but false eyelashes are as commonplace now. I was disappointed when I saw some of the lionesses wearing them during the games as it seems so pointless and stereotypical (women needing to look "their best" all the time) and the lionesses are being pushed as great role models - so its likely that young girls will want to wear them.

My DD is now 23 and used to wear the massive spidery ones but is now sporting a much more natural look - I think its just something many young women and girls will go through.

I have old school photos of me wearing heavy foundation, blusher and blue eyeliner, blue mascara and blue eye shadow to school, with white highlighter just under my brows (because I knew what I was doing 😁) when I was about 14/15 and my mum being aghast but not really able to stop me - I'd have just put it on at school if she didn't let me wear it leaving the house.

God love em! I’m slightly worried my DD doesn’t push back more and she’s so obedient!! I want her to grow a back bone and if she said she wanted to wear lashes I think I’d say yes! I just think I’m too strict!

last night she had strawberries and melted chocolate as her night snack! I said look have the strawbs but maybe keep the chocolate for during the day! Poor child felt so told off! Also I’ve said things like oh I’ll buy you the Nike air pro shorts everyone is wearing and she’s like it’s ok mummy they’re just black cycling shorts. Her friends though are in year 7 and still not into a lot of stuff like this, she’s a slightly trendier one with white crocs!

anyway i guess it’ll all come! Going back to your point OP I’m not sure if I would allow my daughter but you’re right to think it’s a ‘pick your battles’ one. Good luck.

Agree with this!

As others said pick your battles. My DD used to hide multiple piercings under her hair (didn't start growing it till end of Year 11 so she wouldn't be made to tie it up) There are worse things she could be spending her money on.

The school should ban them. In the same ways my boys’ school has really strict rules on fashion haircuts and piercings (strictly prohibited), stupid false lashes should be banned.

Why?

What issue does a haircut cause?

There's no need for ger to wear them for school, but if the school allow them (I've never heard of a school allowing them!) I wouldn't argue it. She won't be breaking rules.