Should i let 13 year old dd wear false lashes to school?

[EyelashConundrum]

Dd is 13, and has started wearing stick on lashes to school. They are not super heavy spidery ones, but they do change the way her eyes look. She bought them with her own money in town with friends.

Im really torn between letting her wear them (school allows it, all her friends wear them and she obviously wants to fit in, she's 13 and is trying to find her own style, etc).

But then false eyelashes just seem so unnecessary for 13 year olds who are going to spend the day sitting in maths and geography. And my heart breaks that modern beauty standards make her feel the need to conform and wear this level of adornment.

Its a choice between being the authoritarian mother who forbids it because its just excessive in my opinion. But equally i remember being 13 and arguing with my parents that my thick orange foundation was an absolute necessity and they couldn't possibly understand what its like to be a teenager.

Ive allowed voting

YABU - Let her wear them. Its not doing any harm, doesn't disrupt her learning and helps her to feel confident.

YANBU - Absolutely no way should i let my 13 year old leave the house wearing these ridiculous things.

I think you’d need to take it up with the school.

It’d make me feel uneasy in your position but it’s not really a biggie I don’t think. That said, I started wearing makeup very early too and I do think it has kind of left me addicted/hiding my real face ever since! But I’m a raging feminist so swings, roundabouts, etc.

I think they look ghastly on most and especially ridiculous on little girls but if it's what they're all doing, it's a fight against a force of nature to oppose it.
My 14 yr old daughter could not be less interested in being one of the orange be-lashed ones, thankfully...but if she wanted to I'd let her.

I wasn’t allowed make up at all at school and looking back that was great.

I’d allow exceptions if you have terrible acne and a doctor’s note. But certainly no sticking stuff on. Girls already think they owe the world pretty from an early age. And these days “pretty” seems to mean drag queen styling. It’s unhealthy

im in my late 30s and the number of women i know who won’t leave the house without make up is so upsetting.

My 13 year old wears them every day. She has them fitted at a salon.
Her school allows them and light make up, which she also wears.
It's fine op.

Honestly this is not something I can get worked up about. As long as school allow I can’t say it would bother me.

My teen started playing with make up around 10 (ish) wears mascara occasionally - but hates the feel of false eyelashes, she’s done the whole black eye makeup 😂 and now really can’t be bothered with it, unless it a special occasion school is not classed as a special occasion 🤣

I remember being a teen and wearing stupid make up, dying my hair random colours they work these things out as they go.

I would let her. It's a time to pick your battles and this is one I wouldn't push. It's a step up from mascara really so if she wears that I wouldn't see the issue

The school local to me allows them, oddly enough. Each to their own, but IMHO most fake eye lashes look ridiculous, especially on younger girls.

I think you were very unreasonable to send your dd to a school that allows them in the first place.

It depends how long they are.
If they’re natural/the same as mascara then I’d let her.

I used to wear fake eyelashes all of the time when I went out clubbing and they were the proper long ones.
They looked good for a club but way too over the top for everyday wear.

However, I have recently been converted to natural looking ones and they’re so much easier than putting mascara on every morning, as they last a few days and so much better for your eyelashes.

the school allows it ?
Have you tried phoning them ? I bet they don't

It could be worse, it could be dream matte mousse.

The thing is, if you really enforce it properly, they stop wearing them, nobody comes to school dressed like they are going to a nightclub and a most of the bitchiness towards less 'cool' girls stops. School just becomes a place to wear uniform and get on with your work. (And actually wearing long false nails does interfere with science experiments, PE, using a computer, cooking....)

I'm intrigued by those questioning the school allowing them - how much time do you think we have to check girls eyelashes and sanction those with falsies?? Maybe it's just my school but this is seriously not a priority!

think all it needs is one or two parents to say no and the rest of them will follow suit!! remember, you are the parent and she is still very much a minor!

YABU

I remember the fights as a teenager with my parents as I thought they were old and didn't understand life as a 90s teen, and the more they said no the more I rebelled and did things anyway - just behind their backs, so when I had my own daughter I decided I wouldn't say no to anything unless I had a very good reason behind it (ie drugs, smoking etc). I believed she should be allowed freedom to express who she was, and I wanted to have an open and honest relationship with her.

False eyelashes are such a minor thing. Saying no just because you don't like them isn't a good enough reason imo. Your dd likes them and as it's her body, and not causing any long term damage, then she should be allowed them.

Pick your battles. Is this really a hill you are willing to die on?

My exact thoughts 🤣

Honestly this isn’t a battle I’d be having. Does it really matter? Could be false lashes, could be mascara, she’s finding her feet with her look and she’s not even being silly with it. It’ll probably fizzle out as she gets a bit older anyway.

I'd let her. They are such a faff to put on she might get fed up with them quickly!

Absolutely not. No way. Why does a 13 year old even know about false eyelashes?

Our local school, which allows them, keeps going on about the dress code (no uniform but strict rules on how short tops can be and so on) so if they can 'police' that they can include lashes surely?

Do your kids live in a hole in the ground?

Well unless they are huge flapping in the wind ones I'd think policing how short tops are would be much easier at a glance

I can't see why you wouldn't let her

No it doesn’t go away. I went to very strict religious schools where you got detention for having the wrong colour bobbles in your hair- everyone still new who was cool and who wasn’t, who was poor and who wasn’t etc. uniform is not the social leveller people claim it is. Every school I’ve worked in has been the same.

Id let her wear the eyelashes, they won’t stop her learning and banning them won’t convince her that makeup is unnecessary/oppressive/inappropriate etc.

???

she's 13 years old not 13 months