Should i let 13 year old dd wear false lashes to school?

[EyelashConundrum]

Dd is 13, and has started wearing stick on lashes to school. They are not super heavy spidery ones, but they do change the way her eyes look. She bought them with her own money in town with friends.

Im really torn between letting her wear them (school allows it, all her friends wear them and she obviously wants to fit in, she's 13 and is trying to find her own style, etc).

But then false eyelashes just seem so unnecessary for 13 year olds who are going to spend the day sitting in maths and geography. And my heart breaks that modern beauty standards make her feel the need to conform and wear this level of adornment.

Its a choice between being the authoritarian mother who forbids it because its just excessive in my opinion. But equally i remember being 13 and arguing with my parents that my thick orange foundation was an absolute necessity and they couldn't possibly understand what its like to be a teenager.

Ive allowed voting

YABU - Let her wear them. Its not doing any harm, doesn't disrupt her learning and helps her to feel confident.

YANBU - Absolutely no way should i let my 13 year old leave the house wearing these ridiculous things.

I'd be really unhappy about it. I'm surprised the school allow it.

They’re hideous. I’d be unimpressed with school that lets her wear them.

No

The school allows it?! Do they really though?

Not a chance

No?

No - a 13 year old doesn't need false eyelashes, for School or anywhere else.

I would definitely let her wear them if they are allowed and the norm in her friend group. Pick your battles OP, you have the whole of the teen years ahead.

No. That is ridiculous. And I’d be asking school to review their decision to allow it for children.

Not the end of the world. If she’s working well and getting on fine then I would let her. I do work in schools though and believe me there’s a lot more in this world to be stressed about. Just have a little smile and let her carry on.

I imagine it’s less that the school allows it and more they don’t have time to deal with low level time wasting behaviour like this. You are the parent, not her friend so be the grown up. I wouldn’t let mine do it but if you think it’s appropriate then go for it.

If they're natural looking ones I don't see a problem. The more you tell her no the more she will rebel especially if all her friends are doing it and school allow it. The novelty will soon wear off

Shocked that school allow it. Totally unnecessary.

If the school allow it, they're not ginormous and ridiculously fluttery and it's not impacting her learning in any way, I'd probably be tempted to allow it. She's bought them with her own money and isn't breaking any school rules with them - if they make her feel confident etc surely that's worth it to make the teenage years (which can be horrific!) more comfortable?

I wore them all the time as a teen and now laugh about putting them on to go to the local shop because they were a necessity! I'm sure she'll feel the same at some point 😂

Are you sure the school allows it? I'd be pretty amazed. If it's just your dd telling you that I'd be v sceptical. If they are really allowed then I think you may as well let her..there are bigger battles to pick but I'd be having lots of conversations about "fake" beauty, following trends and the importance of developing your own individual "look".

No I wouldn't allow it, my dsd is 20 has had her lips filled, has her lashes done the full effect type that makes it look like your eyes are closed they look so heavy she's so unhappy with how she 'thinks' she looks.

It's really sad that young girls feel they need to emulate the beauty standards of those who are filtered beyond belief on social media.

I really hope the airbrushed effect goes away soon I'm sick of seeing it.

Is there such a thing as natural-looking fake eyelashes?

Definitely not. Our school has banned them because apart from how unnecessary they are they cause a huge problem with distractions.

My gut says teens will always want to wear something or do their hair and make up in a way that parents thing is silly. It's always been that way. It doesn't mean parents should roll over because everyone else is doing it / their friends do it.

If you're not happy about it then say no.

If school genuinely allow it, they're reasonably natural looking, and you're not particularly bothered about them, let her.

Pick your battles. What harm are they doing? In my experience (secondary school teacher), the girls who start wearing lashes and makeup young will also realise they don't need them long before the girls who start wearing makeup later. Let her wear them, but make sure she knows how beautiful she is without them too.

Obviously she shouldn’t be wearing them. She’s a child, and is going to school- not a nightclub.

Not at all appropriate, and if I were the Head I’d send her home until they were removed.

On one hand the patriarchy and big sigh.
On the other hand 😂
My finest parenting win was letting dd’s stomp around like budget pound shop bratz dolls from 12-16. They’re beautiful groomed unmodified mid 20s now who rarely wear makeup.
As pp have said, pick your battles.

Our school allows it but DD not keen on them as she thinks they look chavvy. And she is blessed with natural long lashes
Cow

Yes, school definitely allows it, which just exacerbates the problem with me forbidding them. Because all of her friends are wearing them (most started in yr 7 and 8 - dd has held out till yr 9).

At age 13. Not a chance. I am sure they all look ridiculous.