Are we classed as "poor" or average

[FutureMrsBourne]

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

She won't get child benefit, they are over the threshold. Definitely not poor enough for that.

You're husband's not poor but you are.

Your post should really be questioning that fact and that it sounds like your 'poor-style wealth' relies on being latched onto a man.

That should keep you up at night, OP, not whether you can afford a wet bar.

She would get zero ad husband makes over £60k

Lower earners in the UK are heavily subsidised by higher earners making £60k+

Its unsustainable.

Nah I'm not biting...

You're poor in self-awareness and in your understanding of the world.

Sorry OP but the minute you wrote DH earns around £70k. you are neither poor nor average. You’re above average.

ONS say “In the financial year ending (FYE) 2022, median household income in the UK before taxes and benefits was £35,000, increasing to £38,100 after taxes and benefits.” https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/personalandhouseholdfinances/incomeandwealth/bulletins/theeffectsoftaxesandbenefitsonhouseholdincome/financialyearending2022

So as a family you are on around twice average household income.

It will feel different from friends who have two above average earners in their household. Or perhaps they are racking up credit card debt. Or have family money helping them out.

As you say if it was just YOUR wage you’d be below average. I wonder if that is what is really bothering you?

You're average. Your husband's done alright though. Well done him.

Going to Turkey to get teeth done fills me with dread, OP. Thank your lucky stars you're not going down that route.

You sound like you and your DH have your heads screwed on. Things like saving for your kitchen and not overstretching yourselves will make you far, far happier in future.

Wow.

Do yourself a favour and stop comparing yourself with other people. Who in the real world needs a plastic face and a home cinema? Who cares about their big houses and what they cost? If mortaged they part own it with the bank so not home owners in the true sense.
They may have loans and credit card debt that you don't know about. They don't 'own' the designer hand bag until the card is financally clear. No need to be envious, total waste of time, and total race to the bottom. Rise above it.

Read the room! Most people would love to have your joint income and it’s nearly three times the national median. You’ve decided not to progress your career before having children - if you feel differently change this. But please don’t pull the poor/ average sad card when most people would love your household income.

Not sure why you’re so worried about what other people do/ have with their money - that’s their choice. You make yours and just be happy with you very good income instead of moaning on Mumsnet.

I'm on £6k, I supplement it by doing up and selling stuff. And wasting nowt. And growing food. Etc.
You are not poor

🤔 yes you are poor 🙄

Jesus. Harold. Christ.

if you’re poor then what the fuck am I? Destitute I guess.

This cannot be a serious post?

"Being latched on to a man"? What a bitchy thing to say.

Her DH, whom she's married to, and working part time to look after their children.

Maybe OP will increase her earnings when her children are older.

And as she's married, she's protected financially in ways that co-habitees aren't.

Crikey I’m a qualified ICU nurse with 25 years experience and don’t earn that much more than £12ph last time I looked.

Strange question. Do you need to give yourself a label? For what it's worth 70k is a large income and much more than many households are living on.

I feel that we are very comfortable. DH doesn’t quite earn £70k and I earn just under the tax threshold so less than OP. We have lots if savings and have what we consider to be a good lifestyle.
I think OP is definitely above average in terms of U.K. household income.
I think anyone on higher tax rate (which you would be on £70k) is in the top 10% of earners……

I feel poor compared to my friends. But realistically I know that my income is above average. Your friend buying £700k houses are not the average and people below it are not poor.

I doubt that.

Well above average.
This has got to be a stealth brag. Surely nobody with this income can genuinely believe they might be classed as average income not alone poor .

Do people really love such narrow lives?

Aibu to think a family income of 85k makes us poor?

I mean seriously, perhaps use some of your free time to get it into the world and volunteer for a food bank or such

Combined income of 90k is not poor nor average.

MN isn't the best place to ask. I'd recommend checking your household incomes on one of the percentile calculators. I wouldn't have thought you're lower centiles with that income though.
https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

People choose to spend their money differently. And whilst outwardly they may seem comparable, you never know enough to make assumptions. I don't recommend making comparisons generally.