Are we classed as "poor" or average

[FutureMrsBourne]

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

Honesty you just have to be content with your own situation. Comparison really is the thief of joy. You sound like you have a lovely family life, house and job so be happy with what you have.

Three times average. So objectively very well off.

Your household income is over 80k a year. You're richer than the vast majority of households (the median household income is about 38k).
Your DH's friends are either loaded or up to their eyeballs in debt.

Yeah, you’re poor 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

If I won multi millions on the lottery I wouldn't be spending it on getting poison injected into my face so I guess I would still be poor by your slightly strange measure.

😂😂😂

https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in#tool-results-section

This website has a handy tool where you can see how your household income compares.

Stop comparing yourself to others. That way only brings misery. If you’re happy who cares what you earn or what you’ve got.

Nice try.

Sounds tough, I can send you a food parcel, op?

You are not poor. You are not super rich either. Somewhere in between but pretty comfortable.
All this Botox or going to Turkey for dentistry is really tacky - not something to aspire to at all.

I'd say you're well above average. DH earns less than your DH, and he's the sole earner for our family. We're comfortable.

Ridiculous

Quite.

I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
you only work 3 days a week because you choose to work 3 days a week. Many people work full time with small children. If you want more money, you can work two extra days. Have more in your pension. Have more opportunities at promotion. It might not be more immediately, but it will be more when both children are at school.

We have your income, OP, and we feel rich., But we don't value botox and cinema rooms. Do you have what you need and most of what you want (YOU, not what your friends want)? Then you are rich. Your income certainly doesn't make you poor, by anyone's standards. We live in an area where there is a lot of poverty, it is heartbreaking. Not being able to afford plastic surgery is not deprivation and you will never be happy if you are always looking at what someone else has got, as there is always someone who has more.

www.ons.gov.uk/visualisations/dvc1802/calculator/index.html

Put your figures in and see for yourself

That’s a higher income than ours and we have 2 in secondary school and we feel
about average

God there’s some right arseholes about on mumsnet these days.

Oh come off it! I refuse to believe anyone is this tone deaf. You KNOW you're not poor, far from it. Just because you choose to hang around with a bunch of numpties, doesn't mean you're poor..or even average for that matter!

For perspective, our joint household income is around 45-50k after tax. We work 90 hours between us pw to earn that. I would say we are doing ok for ourselves, relatively comfortable. Plenty for bills, a little bit of savings and the odd holidays and treats.

If you're that bothered about earning more and affording cinema rooms and Botox - work more! But perhaps given your clouded judgment, a little bit of volunteer work at a food bank or homeless shelter would be more beneficial!

OP,

Most people in the UK are poor. Think £35k/year household income average.

You just feel "worse" because you are comparing yourself to your peers (who seem to have more dispodable income than you do).

The truth?

Its all relative. You have to be happy woth what you have (now), but still be willing to work hard to advance further (future).

I am telling you this as someone in a family with household income > £150k

That’s double our income and we feel average. I’d say you were very well off. 70k is a huge salary.

I would say a long way above average

I think you know very well you are not poor.

Comparison is the thief of joy OP. If you compare yourself to someone earning £50k plus then yes, I would say you can’t keep up with things like Botox and a huge house and may well feel poor to people who earn more. 🤷🏼‍♀️It’s all relative, people can have huge salaries and be useless with money.
£70k isn’t that high these days.

My salary is quite high, at least I think it is, not mn high but still - I am useless with money, I give a lot to charity, I buy clothes all the time for DD and shoes, toys. A simple day out in London and I spent a ridiculous amount on lunch, dinner, some gifts for friends, toys, activities.

A lot of people are on the poverty line, can’t afford treats like eating out, Sky movies, internet, days out, basics like food and sanitary products, somewhere to live.

By comparison even those struggling in this country likely don’t have to walk 5 hours to get some filthy water to drink….

People who install bars in their own homes always make me feel better about my own shit life choices. At least I’m not them…a thought I can cling to during the dark times.