Are we classed as "poor" or average

[FutureMrsBourne]

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

I think the "am I poor with only earning wages most people can only dream of" must be the new variation of "how did my child do in their SATS, I don't understand, because all I have is 120 for each paper".

I'm never quite sure if they are meant to be stealth boasts or funny. Because no one ever asks "is my child doing okay: they scored 89 and lower in their SATS" or wonders if their household income is under £20k, whether they're classed as poor.

You must be dreading your winter fuel bills, and as for Christmas, well I hope you manage to survive without botox and a lovely set of glowing Turkey teeth

I'm sure this thread was meant to offend, and it does.

@CantFindTheBeat £14.53ph

You're in the top 6% of household income nationally according to the IFS tool.

I'm surprised OP earns as much as 20k PA given the low level intelligence she exhibits.............

No not poor. Not average either.

You have above average income.

Exactly. I have really raised my
eyebrows at this thread.

You're benchmarking yourself against people much wealthier than you so no wonder you feel 'poor'. If your DH's friends have much higher earning partners then of course they'll have a lot more disposable income than you. They also possibly have additional wealth from inheritances, investments and/or side hustles. Comparison is the thief of joy as you've found out.

Presume this is net and after pension contributions? And your pension terms which are largely impossible to match in the private sector?

Presume you are also new to the role and will advance which will considerably increase your salary?

Your wage is lower than average, so to use your own terminology, you would be considered one of the 'poorer' of the working population.
Your DH on the other hand earns significantly more than average so would not be considered poor.
If you ever found yourself living independently from your DH, in this economic climate you would probably struggle to cover essential expenditure with some left to participate in life and to prepare for the future. Which is one definition of poverty.

Threads like this are so crass. The OP must know that her household are far from poor. Starting a thread like this is in such incredible bad taste when so many families are struggling to put food on their tables right now. Get a grip, OP.

What, another one living below the Botox line? 😁

Devil's advocate but....depends on your outgoings. Someone earning 40k in a smallish house, small mortgage, no children or debt would be well off. Someone earning 80k paying of debt and have a huge mortgage and nursery fees will have less left over in the month...depends how much you have left, what outgoings are etc.

Op, we have a similar income to you. We do not class ourselves as poor, obviously, as I am fully aware of median income. However, having mixed in different circles occasionally, I am also aware that there are some families with VASTLY bigger incomes than ours. The difference betweeen us and them, though, doesn't make us poor now, does it? Come on. It's just a fact of life that there will always be someone with more disposable income than yourself, and they can spend it on shit like botox and turkey teeth if they want, that's up to them.

I suspect that you are feeling slightly vulnerable when you think about your own income. I earn far far less than DH as we have effectively prioritised his career over mine (joint decision - complex reasons why). I sometimes wonder what would happen if he dropped dead or we divorced and I'd be on my own. Is that what is worrying you? If it hadn't been for an inheritance, I'd be fucked. And yes, before that inheritance that did make me feel kind of "poor" as an individual. (And DH was on less money then anyway)

If it's just a "keeping up with the Jones'" thing that's got to you, well, off you go and wring your hands about shit like that - you're on your own. It's shallow. You do you and your family, and let them do them and their turkey teeth and fillers.

A household income of £80,000+ is not poor, how do you think ppl on NMW survive?
Absolutely fed up with posts like this, 'oh no we are skint, we only earn £80k' etc etc away and have a word with yourself.

I guessed your income from the information you gave. Yeah you are so poor.........

My old neighbours were very flashy with cash, you have to spend your ill gotten gains somehow.

(They actually were partaking in criminal activity, though obviously at the time we just suspected things were not above board)

No paying Botox and teeth back under the proceeds of crime act.

Yes because when people have more than you they must be in debt. 🙄
sour grapes, much?

Some of these comments are beyond bitchy and are downright mean. Is MN really a place where only the utterly destitute can or should ask for advice??? And please. Do not come at me with “tone deaf” because we ALL have more than someone else. Stop being so bloody unkind.

The OP is quite rightly getting called out. She knows she's not poor. It's an insensitive post.

Global population? What is the point in that comparison?

I wonder if you started this to laugh at others. There are people on much less who manage, even some solo parents. You’re out of touch. You really are.

@CantFindTheBeat - Many 'poor' women, like me, have to work when their children are young/pre-school. The OP being able to stay at home with them, and do a tiny bit of paid work, is another luxury that she somehow can't see.

A cohort on Mumsnet is oddly forgiving of women who make no or little income and are totally and utterly reliant on men -- but then forget about the economic pitfalls of that complete reliance, especially when they are told to 'LTB'.

I'm not surprised you are on £12 ph, but I am surprised your husband earns £70k and is presumably quite well educated.

I am sorry that you feel jealous of your DH's friends' wives and partners. Have you wondered why they may be successful. If you want more, raise your game and earn more.

To be fair if you have a high mortgage and young children and are ineligible for any benefits or top up I can imagine you are genuinely feeling the pinch. But the pinch is giving many families far bigger bruises.