How did you feel at 32? I feel so old and haggered

[honeybunny8]

I've recently 'celebrated' my 32nd birthday and maybe this sounds ridiculous to older people but I just feel so old and haggered now.

I'm not young anymore. My hair has grey strands. My skin and hair has little shine and I can see my face is loosing that 'youthful' look and leaving behind someone who looks dull and tired. The wrinkles on my forehead are getting deeper, my eyes look less bright.

I've felt down and depressed since my birthday really. I don't have children, and I feel society is still very misogynistic and treats women as almost invisible when they are no longer young if they don't have the mother role.

I feel this will be the rest of my life now, invisible and declining everyday. Once my parents pass, no one alive will care about me anymore. I'm not very sociable and never have been, so on my birthday the only 'happy birthdays' I got were from close family members.

I don't know, maybe I'm just aware of my age and mortality more with this birthday. I was ok at 30 and 31 came and went. This just feels different for some reason.

I am 31 and don’t have children.

I think I look bloody gorgeous and fantastic. I have money to spend on Botox and an amazing hairdresser. I put aside £100 per month for this.

I am happier with my body than I ever was when I was younger, and I know I am still in my prime in terms of physical fitness. We think so much about our beauty that we forget the true sign of aging is not being able to move in the way we need to or losing our health. Those things are decades away, OP.

Go and treat yourself to great skincare, hair care and clothes and see how you feel! I bet you will realise how beautiful you are.

I really want to meet someone and have kids, and I’m investing in my appearance to help me achieve this goal. (Lightheartedly, of course!)

Goodness I'm 33 and I feel I'm still young.

What's your diet and stress levels like? Do you look after yourself? Drink?

Sounds like you need a skincare/hair care regime, it shouldn’t be dull at 32. I don’t know many people that have dull skin or hair no matter their age, usually it comes down to looking after yourself very poorly if you do. Hope you find something that helps

Old and haggard (note spelling) at 32???? I felt fucking GREAT at 32. I was newly married, had a new job, making great money, travelling loads, 32 was a great age. I look back at photos of that year and I look so young and carefree. I WAS young and carefree. Oh, those were the days ...

PS All the things you mention about your face are probably fixable with a decent facial. Otherwise, eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruit and veg, drink at least a litre of water a day, get at least 7 hours of sleep every night and get out in the fresh air as often as you can (but several times a week).

Wait until you find out how you'll feel at 57.....

I felt great at 32, didn't have DS until I was 36. Worked full time in a responsible job and had just moved to the other end of the country. Now nearly 67 and still feel pretty good most of the time though I have had a couple of issues this year. Go to zumba, walk quite a bit.
As you feel so washed out I'd definitely checked out by a GP, you might need iron tablets or have some vitamin deficiency which is dragging you down. Hope you feel better soon.

Ah I get it, I think.most people go through this feeling at various times of their lives and then think ( ten years later) why was I so worried.
Ive certainly felt old and haggard at different times of my life - now I’m coming up to 67 I think “ I wish I looked as old/fat as I thought I was when I was 32!
All of my children are older than you, one single no children and 4 with families.
A couple of weeks ago we were l

..looking at old photos of my parents, grandparents and great grandparents. Now they did look old by their early 50’s. Eldest child commented that some people are really old at 67 but apparently I’m not, due to keeping current, being socially active and not going on about the old days. Nothing at all to do with my greying hair and wrinkly skin at all.
Try to find a passion in life. Something that you will really enjoy and look forward to

I hated turning 30, felt I was no longer young. I’m now almost 42 and with I was 32 🤣. 32 is young, we start aging the moment we are born so at what ever age there’s going to be changes?

Same age, also feel old and past it.

Early 30s sucked for me as well.

I was stuck in a job I hated, doing 70 hour weeks just to stay afloat. My mental and physical health was at rock bottom. In photos I looked haggard and literally grey. My dad had a nervous breakdown and died within the year. It was just a shit time.

So I quit my job and started freelancing in a similar field. Set up my own small business and everything was SO much better.

When I compare photos of me, aged 32, and me aged 38, I look completely different! For the better!

When I was 31, I felt similarly to you.

I thought my life was over. My best years were behind me. All I wanted was what I couldn't have-a chance to go back to my 20s, figure out where it all went wrong and do over.

Now, I'm 36 and I laugh at how I used to feel about my age. Ageing is inevitable. If you're fortunate enough to experience it, everyone gets older. I've learned that it's far better to embrace your age and your stage of life than it is to mourn it.

Looking back, I understand why I felt the way that I did when I was 31. I was directionless. I was 31, living at home with my parents, overweight, didn't have a fixed or permanent income, and everything felt pretty pointless. I thought that to turn my life around, it would take a miracle.

Well, a few short years later...

I now own my own home, have a steady income, a boyfriend, lost 6st in weight and I'm much happier than I ever was in my 20s. I realise that the reason I was unhappy wasn't because of my age or because of the few sneaky grey hairs that seemed to show up overnight, but because I didn't have what I wanted.

I feel like our thirties, especially for women, are our wake-up call moment at times. Society has set it so that by the turn of midnight on our thirtieth birthdays, we ought to have it all figured out-and many of us just don't. Some of us are late bloomers, as it were.

I now spend my time appreciating my age and understanding how ridiculous it can be to moan about something that is inevitable. Many people don't get to see 32, 36, 40, 50 etc and would give anything to-so I appreciate it rather than dread it now.

There's nothing that you can't do just because you've turned 32. Again, I used to feel that I had to put away so-called "childish" things-now I don't care. I like what I like and that is that.

I completely see where you're coming from OP.

I had an existential crisis at 30. It's not the signs of ageing that are distressing, but the idea that at 30, there should be something achieved, some kind of work in progress, not just more of the same and the inexorable slide into middle age.

I was lucky, as I then got married and had children and that has given me a lot of purpose. (The children not the marriage!)

Maybe use this as a call to re-evaluate how you see your life going and whether you are happy doing what you do, personally and professionally. There is no need to have children, a brag-worthy career, or a partner to be fulfilled. You may find that actually yes, how you currently live is a good plan and a good purpose and you just need to reassure yourself that you are doing and being exactly what and who you want.

I still felt great at 32. Now at 39 with one recent pregnancy and birth I feel absolutely haggard and spent.

When I was your age I made the most of being single, travelling if I could and exercising and had a good time. I worked at my career and am very comfortable now whereas early 30ies I wasn’t financially in a good way but yet. 32 is still so so young with so much life ahead of you.

I think you sound a little bit depressed OP. Perhaps you’re in a little bit of a rut? Check out lifestyle factors like diet and sleep (don’t be afraid to try antidepressants also, they work well for some). Try and get out and join some things to meet people. A book group? A walking group? A games group? A sailing club? A choir … er might be identifying myself here oops … Meetup and Eventbrite are great for these things. If you can afford it, perhaps a singles holiday? Do some wine tasting and white water rafting! In the meantime, hair dye, makeup and a bloody good moisturiser. Slap it on and best foot forward! You got this Babe.

I felt good at 32, still looked quite youthful ( well, with makeup on anyway), at 40ish I noticed some grey hairs and wrinkles etc.but still looked fine when I made a bit of an effort.
Have you had your hormones/ nutrition levels checked as there may be an issue there,
How did your mother age

You should go to the GP. You sound depressed.

38 and feel this way. I'm not young anymore and the thought of turning 40 terrifies me.

I felt great at 32.
Get a blood test. You might be low in iron.

Do you drink a lot?
Eat too much sugar?
Not sleep enough?
Do any exercise?
Eat your 5 a day?

This doesn't sound normal. Like the poster way above, at 60 I don't feel like that.

Nobody assumes anyone will have children by 32. 42, maybe, but even then, only presumptuous people do that. I had them at 32 and sometimes wonder why I was in such a rush. I do wish I’d lived less in my head and gone on more holidays.

I'm 37 and feel exactly the same as you!

I’m 31 next month and Botox made me feel 100 times better for the forehead lines and eyes I treated myself on my 30th birthday for the first time

I'm 32 next week and don't feel the same way as you at all! It's actually been my most confident happy years so far since turning 30. I hope you start feeling better soon