How did you feel at 32? I feel so old and haggered

[honeybunny8]

I've recently 'celebrated' my 32nd birthday and maybe this sounds ridiculous to older people but I just feel so old and haggered now.

I'm not young anymore. My hair has grey strands. My skin and hair has little shine and I can see my face is loosing that 'youthful' look and leaving behind someone who looks dull and tired. The wrinkles on my forehead are getting deeper, my eyes look less bright.

I've felt down and depressed since my birthday really. I don't have children, and I feel society is still very misogynistic and treats women as almost invisible when they are no longer young if they don't have the mother role.

I feel this will be the rest of my life now, invisible and declining everyday. Once my parents pass, no one alive will care about me anymore. I'm not very sociable and never have been, so on my birthday the only 'happy birthdays' I got were from close family members.

I don't know, maybe I'm just aware of my age and mortality more with this birthday. I was ok at 30 and 31 came and went. This just feels different for some reason.

OP, I am 36 and heavily pregnant, with a 3 and a bit year old in tow. Trust me when I say, the 'mother' role hasn't made much of a difference to the ageing feeling I have. I feel frumpy and tired. Pregnancy and childbirth, and recovery from the two, can also be hard on women physically. I was lucky enough the first time round but there are no guarantees with baby number 2. When I get sucked into the vortex a bit, I remind myself I am lucky to have a little one and lucky to be pregnant, which helps me to gain a bit of perspective.

That said, there are days when I look in the mirror and I just don't recognise myself. However, I have promised myself that when baby number 2 is out and older (probably realistically when they are in school and I have a bit of time again), I will find time to go to the hairdressers etc so that there is some parity between my pre-baby and post-baby self.

It can be a slap in the face to realise that we are ageing. However, I do also think of what Nigella Lawson said, about ageing being a privilege and not something that is guaranteed to us all. She is right of course, but ultimately you feel how you feel.

I would also say do whatever you like to make you feel better about the ageing process - hair dye, manicures, new outfits, whatever. I suspect even the act of doing something about it will help you feel better. Good luck and I hope you feel back to yourself again soon.

I know what you mean. I am also 32 and I feel since about 29 my face has really changed. I just don't have that youthful glow anymore. I have to try really hard to look good now. I am religious about skincare and I get cosmetic treatments too. People are always complimenting my skin but I don't see it. I just look dull and tired and I feel like my reflection is someone else. And I know this is only the start of it.

I don't feel physically unhealthy except for the stomach issues caused by my ED but this has been an issue since my teens so nothing new. I get tired and overwhelmed a lot but I think that is because of my current life circumstances rather than age.

I feel a lot better when I exercise (especially something fun like dance aerobics) so I'm trying to up my exercise and I definitely recommend you do the same.

I’m 45 in December and only just starting to see the signs of aging, I still have good skin but I’ve always looked after my skin and I don’t have any grey hair yet. I had just had my second baby at 32 and didn’t feel too old. I hate being 44 I’ve never gotten over turning 40.

And yes, absolutely SPF 50 on the face everyday without fail. Nivea Shine Control is excellent, cheap and good for all skin types, not just oily, I find it hydrating and a great base for makeup.

I’m nearly 10 years older than you and don’t feel old but I’ve had times when I felt a lot older than now, it had nothing to do with actual calendar age and everything to do with health/what was going on in my life at the time. So at 32 as a single mum with young kids, a poorly paid full time job and a commute I felt like old and haggard and like that’s it, I’m old! Now that I’ve got time to exercise and do hobbies etc. I feel better than I have for years.

Basically think about vitamins, diet, lifestyle etc and also, what would make you happy?

32 here as well, also single and childless, by choice and I intend to stay that way.

I struggled more turning 30, as I felt I wasn't as far in life as I should be, but in the past couple of years I've started to really embrace getting older which feels great. I used to worry about looking older but now I just don't care. I refuse to fear wrinkles and grey hairs. Those things are beautiful. They're a sign of longevity. They're signs we've been fortunate to live along enough to get them. They're signs we've lived a life.

I suspect you're fixating too deeply on your face and being very harsh on yourself. I imagine the things you've pointed out, the strands of grey and forehead wrinkles, aren't noticeable to anyone but yourself.

Some friends around my age are quite fixated on anti-aging stuff and botox and such, which on one hand it's great if it makes you feel good about yourself, but I find it sad that people my age, who are still actually very young, are wasting precious time and energy worrying about looking older. When you're 50, you're going to look back and realise how young you are now and wonder why you felt this way.

As others have said diet and exercise is so important. Try to find a form of exercise you enjoy so it doesn't feel like a chore. And having a skincare routine might help. I try to focus on things that make me feel pampered rather than anti-aging products.

I am 79 I suppose I might be old. My husband was 87 when he died . Age is irrelevant 32 is very young.

At 32 I was the fittest I'd ever been. I felt fab. At 40 I don't feel much different, just a few lbs heavier but still fit. I now have more money and time to spend on myself which I do, so I think I actually look better now in terms of skin, hair etc.

32 is too young to be feeling rubbish.

You sound very depressed OP.

Im 32 and feel healthier and objectively look no different to when i was mid 20s skin and hair wise. Im also 7 stone lighter and alot fitter.

I take care of my skin and keep my hair in a neat style is it goes a bit witchy if too long. Part of it is genetics, part diet and part self care.

At 32 I looked how I did at 25. No children at that point. Are you eating well and being active? You shouldn’t be looking haggard at this age. I started getting a few grey hairs at about 23 and was having it professionally coloured by around 31/32.

Book a pamper day, have a nice facial, dye your hair and get some Botox.

Your dissatisfaction with your appearance and sense of invisibility is highly unlikely to be related to your age. Plenty of women have lovely skin and hair and are exceptionally attractive 20 years and more after their 30s. Equally, no disrespect to young women, but they do not by any means all look beautiful and glowing. You get attractive women and less attractive ones of all ages.
If you're unhappy with your general vitality and glow, there's loads you can do to improve it. Excellent diet and excercise, the right products would make a huge difference.
As for the misogyny, yup that's an issue for sure. But who would want the sort of creepy weirdo who thought 32 was too old?

Everyone feels pissed off when they get to 30. I certainly was, it’s normal.
Seems pretty ludicrous now I’m 45 though 🤣

I'm 43 and starting to feel my joints creak a little and the skin isn't as supple as it used to be. A little on the peri-menopause side.

At 32 I felt great! Full of energy!

32!! You’re practically an embryo. This isn’t normal, no. You don’t even have kids to make you feel knackered. You are in the prime of your life.

I’m 49 with a ten month old and I still don’t feel old and past it, in fact, I feel fantastic. I also felt fantastic at your age and pre kids.

Your state of mind needs an MOT

Oh my God, you should not be feeling like this till you are 50! And hopefully not even then.

if you are feeling like this now I see this as a manifestation of a wider mental health issue you have. You seem to have extreme negative thinking, a lack of worth and purposefulness and to feel quite isolated. Those are the things you need to work on. The obsession with your looks has arisen from your unhappiness in these other areas.

Having close family is a real blessing, btw.

At 32 I was young!

I'm 18 years your senior and still enjoying life to the full.

I think you need to get a bit of help to get you out of the mindset that looks are key, it's what you feel like that matters - honestly 50 is amazing, yes I have a few grey hairs (I have never coloured it) it's thinner, I have wrinkles and a plethora of minor health issues but live a great life, have fun etc. dancing until midnight on Saturdays . It's hard when you are stuck in a bit of a rut, we all go through it but you can come out the other side

32 is young! I’m 34 and feeling great. Spent my 20’s travelling and working abroad, now happily settled down with a lovely guy and our toddler (was pg for first time at 32). I do feel much better when I work out and eat healthily. Only thing I’d like to change is having a career (I work pt but a basic job). But that’s something I’m going to save for when my child starts school, for now my priority is being with him.

Try turning your thinking around to be more positive. Find some hobbies you love that keep you fit and healthy. Check your vitamin levels.see what you can do to feel much more positive when you turn 33.

OP, women are at their peak between 30-40 years old. And I include beauty in this decade.

Feeling down, depressed and not having a social personality, doesn't help. The only person who can change the chip is yourself. Do you work full time? Are you healthy without chronic conditions keeping you at home?

The best way to deal with low depression is to be out of the house and focussed on different tasks every day. Work, a lunch with a friend, a concert on your own, a hobby, a cooking class, a game of golf as a beginner part of a group, doing aqua aerobics/Zumba/yoga.

The less time you are on your own and keep busy, the more you'll feel energised and enjoy life.

OP I am about 12 yrs older than you but I felt the same at your age. My circumstances were different as I had a child but I felt old and exhausted from life and felt myself slipping away a bit, I was also very stressed and unfit. I don't know why but it was a tough age for me. The first signs of ageing can be upsetting but you will get used to it and you have another 10 yrs before you really need to worry about those wrinkles. A bit of a break mentally would do you the world of good.

Yeah I’m 33 and definitely feeling it as well. I felt worse a few months ago and am doing better having taken iron and b- vitamin supplements for a while. But yeah I look quite old compared to just a few years ago and can’t be nearly as active. Sore back coming and going. But I guess you have to remember this is the youngest you’ll ever be

I'm 33 and certainly don't feel old and haggard but I don't give a crap about the patriarchy and could not care less about getting lines on my face.

How is your physical and mental health op?
I'm 40 and have cancer, yet I don't feel old. I'm loving getting back into exercise as it makes me feel great, I love having a bath and an early night, and doing my hair and dressing nicely for work.
If you really can't find any enjoyment in life it sounds like you're depressed and could benefit from getting some help.

I wish I was 32 again !

Enjoy being 32 & young !

Hmm well I'm 35 and just the last few years I've noticed some lines creeping in. And, silver hairs. Though I've moved somewhere the bathroom has better lighting so maybe I'm just seeing them more now.

I feel OK but I'm very much hoping I can date a few hotties before my youth fades as I'm not much of a looker as is.