To think immediate family should be informed about a birth

[MarySmit]

I'm curious about this.

If you are a first degree relative, when would you expect to be told that a relative had just had a baby?

I'm feeling rather miffed that no one bothered to inform me, so wanted opinions on this

In my family, only my mum would be informed directly, she would inform everyone else. I didn't call all my siblings when my dc were born, and have generally heard about my siblings' dc being born from her.

@saraclara unfortunately there's no such thing as a safe and well call. In the summer, we would have the back door open for the dogs and she would just walk in. The minute she finds out the baby is born she will be round banging on the door demanding access, and she will demand baby is handed to her and attempt to take baby out of the room so I'm not in the room with LO. Trust me, this woman is next level!

I think the difference between a mothers relationship with her own mother and her relationship with MIL differ massively. My mother sadly passed away but she gave birth to me, wiped my tears, advocated for me and was my biggest cheerleader. Consequently if I wanted advice as a mother, I would go to her as she was the most trusted woman in my life (I'm sure DH would go to his dad for advice on being a father over asking my dad as his dad is his parent)

The dynamic with a lot of MILs on such threads appears to be resentment towards the DIL because DIL gets the blame for taking her boy away from them. That's certainly what has happened in my case - I am just the vessel carrying her next grandchild.

Probably a backstory here with OP.
It’s the most normal thing in the world to contact grandparents as soon as the baby is born. I have 2 small grandchildren. Before each birth, my son said ‘ As soon as baby is born I’ll phone the 4 grandparents. No visitors first day. Leave social media to us.’
This was perfectly acceptable to all of us and we were all happy with phone calls and photos of newborn.
I feel sorry for OP. It’s horrible being left out.

Honestly? I'd say its up to the parents, plus your relationship with them. If they want a few days bonding time with just the 3 of them plus any siblings, and you are likely to totally ignore their wishes and turn up anyway, that's their prerogative.
I feel grandparents think that they are exempt from the bombarding of new parents.

I’m confused. Where does it say that OP is the grandmother? I thought OP said they were a sibling.

I’ve never heard ‘first degree relative.’ I’ve always said ‘close relative’ meaning parent/child/sibling. Depends where you are from, I suppose.

Your first degree relatives are the ones you share approximately 50% of your DNA with (assuming none of them are adopted). So, parents, children and siblings. Siblings can actually share more or less than 50% of their genes, but 50% is true on average.

The term is used a lot in medicine, genetics and genealogy. If you’ve ever been asked for your medical history, you might have been asked if any of your first-degree relatives had certain medical conditions.

I think before social media the norm was probably to let the (grand) parents know and they pass it on to the rest of the family.