DD turns 14 tomorrow and for her birthday she wanted a MacBook Air and for me to take her and 6 friends out for dinner.
I’m struggling with her ongoing defiant behaviour and this morning threatened to cancel her birthday and presents as I’ve had enough. Every single day is a battle, she lays in bed until the very last minute refusing to get up, dressed and out of the house. She’ll often claim to be getting ready, then at the very last minute announce that she needs to wash her hair and can’t possibly go to school without washing, drying and straightening. This takes over an hour. This morning I woke her at 6.30am knowing she needs a shower. I proceeded to call her every 10 minutes but each time I entered her room she screams at me to get out. It’s like this every single day and we’re constantly late, this makes DD2 late and impacts my working day.
I have always struggled with boundaries. I’ve been a shitty parent and have spoilt both children over the years. Ive created lazy entitled monsters. I suspect DD thinks I won’t follow through and the guilt I would feel not celebrating her birthday tomorrow will probably get the better of me.
I thing she might have low lying depression so maybe her behaviour doesn’t warrant punishment but help, although Ive tried to get her to speak to someone and open up but she says I’m crazy and she is absolutely fine. She just doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere most of the time and she absolutely hates school.
In this situation would you use a birthday to enforce boundaries or is that a cruel step too far? Birthdays in this house have always been a big deal but I just can’t be bothered anymore. My DC’s don’t appreciate it and I’m tired of this relentless battle.
I’m a single mum and their dad hasn’t bothered with birthdays since he split with his GF 3 years ago. I’m just exhausted trying to do everything myself all of the time…