To ask the last sentence you said aloud ?

[MrsMigginscoffee]

Just for fun as I've had to laugh at myself and remind myself I'm hormonal and it will pass. I just shouted ".oh fuck off Alexa you annoying bitch" as she ignored my request to stop a timer. AGAIN.
Anyone else slowly losing the plot?

But I have lady-arms!

(It's a joke, and something I say when I want my sons to help me with something heavy or out of my reach. They always tell me that they know I'm perfectly strong enough, but help me anyway, bless 'em!).

"You've written your earrings off by then"

Said to lady serving me in fish and chip shop as we chatted aboit finding sole earrings or earring backs and if people will retrace their steps to find them.

Where shall we store the Halloween skull sweet tub?

First major sort out since Halloween

Hi, I’m looking for the calcium and magnesium tablets.

No, you don't have a tail.
-after my daughter told me she doesn't have a tail.

Do you want to go outside?

(To dog who apparently doesn't want to go outside cos it's cold out there)

"Thank you for unloading the dishwasher without me reminding you to"
to DS (as he was unloading the dishwasher)

"In or out, make up your mind"
to the dog

"FFS, typical"
to various cars, all quite legally parked, in one of the few available spaces near my house.

FFS, don't break it !

We've just had the fridge freezer, slow cooker, hoover and dishwasher break down in the last week, and have bought replacements.

Husband said 'I'm going to empty the washing machine' hence I said 'FFS don't break it ! 😂

So I guess my home gym is no more - said to DH who wants to out his new car in the garage, after I painted and sorted it.

"No, he doesn't want to play. Leave him alone"

To the kitten, annoying the older cat.

Oh you’re still here. To the packet of prawns I left out by the sinkto defrost since morning

“Well I think it’s nice”

To fussy 15 year old after I cut his hair, and faded it, and didn’t take too much off the top - all to spec, But he’s still complaining

"Mine's too cold for me"

To my gentleman caller, talking about my cup of tea - he only drinks his when it's practically cold, and I like mine really hot.

"Why have they shaved his hand but not his arm, now it looks like he has a weird hair jumper on."

DD is watching Mr Beast and they're learning how to be hand models.

"I'll just try them on again first".

I'm sorting out coats to donate to Wrap Up London, some of which I'm having second thoughts about despite having barely worn them in years

"I know, darling."

It is amusing, to people who find insects with human names amusing

Will you PLEASE stop barking.

to the dog, who is still upset 6 hours later, because the bloody hunt hounds were all over our garden earlier.

'Don't tip the water out again'

To my 3 year old who's just poured the contents of his water bottle onto his pillow right before bedtime

Although, I did whisper to myself 'give me a fucking break' as I walked down the stairs, so maybe that's the last sentence 😅

I’m walking away before it falls down, in fact I’m running. (‘It’ is the Christmas tree)

"God, I wish I knew how young I looked at 40"

Bleep them now so we don't have to put out a crash call

"She's pooed and won't let me change her because of my eyebrows"

Said to DH about DD. I got my brows tinted (DIY job) and I look like a soap star villain 😳

"Kind claws only please" while playing with the cat.

@5128gap good luck with that! 😼