To expect to have my own seat in the lounge?

[seahorseyo]

Dh and I have always had places we sit, I sit on one end of a massive corner sofa and he sits in the middle where it makes an L and that been the way for years.
Adult DS moved back home recently after living with a partner for 7 years (longer than we've lived in this house or had this sofa) and sits in my seat, I used to ask him to move up but he seems to like that seat (as I do ) because there's a table and charging port so argues he can sit there if nobody's in it.
But even if I'm not in it I'm only up for a minute pottering about and then he's in my seat again.

AIBU do other people have their seats in the house or am I selfish as he pays his way and it should be first come first serve?

I have my seat and if anyone sits in it when I come in the living room they automatically move so I can sit there or ask if I'm staying downstairs or if I'm going upstairs then they stay wherever they are of I'm moving upstairs

I definitely have "my" chair (and footstool) in our living room. It definitely has my arse print in it. The DDs do use it when I am not in the room, but when I am they move.

My parents both had their own seats in their living room when we were growing up so it was normal to me. From what I could see of DH's parents they seemed to as well.

My mother still lives in the house I grew up in although my Dad died a couple of years ago. Their seats remain in the same places they have always been. She still sits in hers, which she loves as it is a custom built riser recliner. I now use the one my Dad used to have when I am there.

Definitely have my own seat, it’s got my arse indented in it. If anyone if there they shift when i come in.

Ah this is alpha male shit. For capuchin monkeys, all the other monkeys move out of the way for the alpha male. I think you are going to have to go for a show of strength to re-establish your place in the pecking order because he is definitely challenging you. So a bout of shouting and throwing things. Always serve yourself food first. Then lie on the couch and insist he gives you a foot massage.

He sounds part cat. Are you sure DH is his father and not the local tom? 😂

Seriously though, tell him to buy himself a little folding camping table and an extension lead for charging and decant his butt to the other available seat that isn't yours or DHs. Otherwise there are plenty of lodging rooms available on spare room.com. Cheeky beggar.

100% first come first serve. My father in law has ‘his chair’ in the house and god forbid anyone sits in it! Tough shit in my opinion :)

Exactly this (I should have guessed I'd agree with a Gytha 😉)

We have two three seater settes. There's only me and dh at home now. Me and dh have our own place and when the lads are at home, either individually or both together they fall into their old seat patterns.
Funny enough a few night ago I sat in dhs 'place' as I was alone in the house. He came home and had to sit in my 'place'. It felt really odd gor both of us. We soon reverted back and balance was restored!.

Glad you are no my mum. Talk about unwelcoming. Your son should move if you ask though.

The corner of the sofa is prized in our home. It's finders keepers.

DH tried to make it his permament seat and was soon told where to go.

So YABU, unless adult DS makes no contribution to the house (monetary or housework). In which case chuck him out.

Oh god the biggest arguments me and my sibs would have were I WAS SITTING THERE and throwing each other out of our seats

Tell him to move every time. I mean no, it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But so what? You're allowed to have your little foibles like a bum groove in the sofa

My teenage DS does this. He knows that's where I sit and I take pleasure from squeezing in beside him and the shelf/plugs. I don't even know why it's my seat really, it's in the crack where the footstool and end seat is but is quite comfortable. But it's mine and I will shimmy over ANYONE who tries to invade it 😁
It's lighthearted here though. He knows better than to ever question my authoritahhhhhh!

Makes you sounds absolutely ancient or if you aren’t that old, then weird. My BIL is like this and in his early thirties. I think he’s such a drip. Though insisting on his own chair, is just one of many things that build up to the picture of him being a bit of a loser.

If this is your only annoying habit then I guess crack on?

DH'S mum is like this and it fucks me off no end. Her preferred way of sitting reduces the capacity of the sofa by at least two seats, so if we're all visiting for a special event like Christmas, some of us have to sit on the floor, and if we dare all try to budge up to get maximum, whilst remaining comfy, space out of the sofa, we get usurped. Utterly infuriating. YABU!

We have a 4 seater settee and me and DH have our ends. Each with a table, reclining seat and charging port. Our girls are 24 and 22 and don't spend that much time downstairs so they tend to either sit in the middle for a short time or they sit on a smaller 'best' (dogs not allowed) settee to the side. I'll sometimes park myself in the middle if I'm going to be up and down or I'll sit on my piano stool, but if it's the evening and we're settling in, I'll shift their arses because I know they'll disappear upstairs soon anyway.

Your son sounds like he's being a bit of a dick if he keeps nicking your seat the minute you get up for 2 seconds. My girls do it messing about but then they shift

I don’t know why this post has made me so angry but it has.

Of course it’s your seat. How dare he try to usurp it. What a ducking cheek!

*fucking

YANBU. I have a preferred seat. As the bill payer, if I want it, I get it.

Sometimes, like if I'm not planning on staying in the living room very long, then DS can stay sat in it, but otherwise, if I ask him to move, he's expected to move.

Ditto at my parent's house - even though I'm a visitor, I wouldn't dream of sitting in mum's chair, or in the main spot of the settee - dad lies down most of the time he's on it though, so I would sit at the foot end (and let him put his feet on me) if there were more people than seats.

On that basis I'd be sat in my seat and letting everyone do their own dinner so I could keep my seat.
Nope. My seat is mine.

As the bill payer, if I want it, I get it.

Would this apply to a working man with a SAHM wife?

Would this apply to a working man with a SAHM wife?

I would expect a married couple to each have their own preferred seat TBH.

But if they don't, does the "I can turf anyone because I'm the bill payer" justification still stand?

We both have our own chairs. The sofa is for sitting watching something together having a cuddle. If you feel like a cuddle you move to the sofa and the other knows a cuddle is wanted.
If the girls come over they tend to sit where they used to on the sofa or if one of us is out will sit in 'our chair'.

But if they don't, does the "I can turf anyone because I'm the bill payer" justification still stand?

No, why would it? - if a couple, sharing a house as a couple can't manage to have their own preferred seat each, with the appropriate facilities, then that relationship has massive issues.

Weird thing to try to read into what I said, when we were talking about kids taking their parent's preferred seats (especially nabbing it while the previous occupant nipped to the kitchen for something).

The difference being that the couple have decorated the house together, and should therefore have done it for their convenience, whereas the child hasn't. They'll be able to do that in their own house, or upon discussion with their parents - not by just stealing the carefully prepared seat out from under their mum!