To expect to have my own seat in the lounge?

[seahorseyo]

Dh and I have always had places we sit, I sit on one end of a massive corner sofa and he sits in the middle where it makes an L and that been the way for years.
Adult DS moved back home recently after living with a partner for 7 years (longer than we've lived in this house or had this sofa) and sits in my seat, I used to ask him to move up but he seems to like that seat (as I do ) because there's a table and charging port so argues he can sit there if nobody's in it.
But even if I'm not in it I'm only up for a minute pottering about and then he's in my seat again.

AIBU do other people have their seats in the house or am I selfish as he pays his way and it should be first come first serve?

@Nonplusultra - bless you. DH occasionally sits elsewhere so as not to disturb our eldest cat.

Me? I don't have this worry because even the cats don't sit in my spot 😂

You best let him have it op. In fact why don’t you let him have the whole sofa and you sit on the floor? Otherwise he may go no contact with you and put you in a home when you’re older

Move the table and charger to other end of the sofa, dont buy a second table and see if your son moves out of your seat!!! Or put the table and charger to where ever youre going to sit instead!!!

Bizarre having 'own seats' and making family members move out of them in my view. Sure I have a favourite seat but if there is more than me here we all switch round and sit wherever

This has really tickled me 😂

This is the type of behavior that led to him having to move back home.
Tell him to move or find alternative accommodation where he can sit where he likes, your house your rules.

You need a cushion!

My DS bought me this, when we had a family member staying long term. I hadn't said anything but he'd obviously noticed on my behalf. 😂

Completely normal here. Large sofa: I have one end, cat has the other. Small sofa: DH has one end, cat occasionally has the other. When DS visits, he sits between me and cat or on small sofa if DH is not staying in the room. Cat and I do not give up our seats.

My cat does this, it is very annoying!

I have a spot but no children to usurp it yet. My mum has a spot and we move when she's back. You're not unusual. Claim your space!

No, sorry op!!! I hate the ‘my seat’ thing!! Both when I was a child and now, I hate people claiming what are generally the best places! What about the rest of us? I want to set my drink down on the window or the table too!!!!

Same. It's my house, so suck it up, kiddies!

It's your seat. He should move.

(mostly tongue in cheek...)
The house belongs (in spirit) to the senior female occupant. That can be Nan, Mum, Auntie Hilda, Irene-down-the-road, whoever. The senior female occupant gets first pick of dining room and living room seats. No one would dare sit in Nan's chair, it just wasn't done. If anyone is sitting in my seat of the sofa, they move when I enter the room. (If a guest sits there, that's OK because they didn't know.)
I was brought up t always ask "where should I sit" when I visited somewhere.

When we replaced the living room furniture, the adult children did get votes on what we bought for their seats. DS wanted a spinny chair.

YABU if you expect him to move every time you come into the room and want to sit down. Equally if you're sat there and then get up to make a cup of tea etc and he jumps into your seat he is BU to do that.

Unless you need it because you have a bad back or something, I don't think you can demand to turf him out of a seat, especially since he's paying to live there.

I really wouldn't make a huge thing out of it either way, though.

I would have a conversation. It's your seat, when you aren't there he can use it. The corner seat of the corner unit is the best space.

We all have our own seats, same as at the dining table. Massive sofas and footstools for all cos we like to be cosy.

DS loves my seat, He moves when I come in. I think DH has the better view of the TV, mine is by the charger.

I will pop out and make a cuppa or do a quick task when the add breaks. The DC can keep it warm for me, I want my own space.

We didn't used to have sides of the bed. When I was pregnant I was by the door so I could make many trips to the loo. I have swapped back to by the window now (for security purposes obvs).

I think if you have visitors you sit wherever but if you all actually live in the house then I’d say most people have their favourite place to sit.

we all sit on the same seats in the living room if we are all in the house. Dh and ds do like the seat I sit on but move if I come in to sit down,

It's like a pack thing isn't it?

When the alphas appear the whelps move 😂

(how it should be!)

YANBU to have a favourite seat but YABU to make such a fuss about it. You're perfectly capable of being comfortable in other seats - if you're not, you have some work to do about the layout of your house - so crack on with it. Would you be so rude as to insist that seat was YOURS to a guest?

Can't stand weird territorialism.

I get you OP. At my moms house there are also assigned seats.
If my mom isnt around at all, I will use her seat. But if she is, I move!!! Same with stepdad!!

And of course there are assigned dinner table seats! Even regular guests have assigned seats!!!

Funnily enough, in my own home, I dont have an assigned dinner table seat, as I dont use it enough (only when I have guests, which, despite being often enough, is not all the time), So I let people sit wherever they want, as long as Im on the kitchen side!

I have to say - although i have a favourite spot, i have made sure that ALL the other seats in the room are also comfy ones, with good view of the telly, somewhere to put a cup down and a good long charger cable.

The MOST comfy chair in the room (which is a lovely big 'cuddle chair', fits 2 adults) happens to have the worst view of the telly. You can see the TV from it but at an angle. Which causes great conflict in the mind of DH 😂I see him internally wrestling with the decision when it's free.

Yes my DH and I both have our own special seats. If my son is in my place and I come in to sit down then he moves. Tbh that’s not often as he’s rarely in the house but he knows the score. It was the same with my mum and dad tbh. The kids knew their place lol

Boot him off. Your house, your seat. Fair enough if you're not there or not wanting to sit down but if you are, he should move.

I think if it was an argument between you and DH then it’s not fair to hog the “best” seat in a shared lounge. However if a child has returned home after years, to a house that was never his home, then it’s not unreasonable for you to retain your spot on the couch. If he wants the choice he can go buy his own.

As for diving into your seat when you get up for a few mins, that’s downright rude.

YANBU. DH and I have our spaces on one sofa, the dog takes up the whole other sofa. But if I go to the loo, dog goes into my warm spot 😂and gets booted off when I come back down. When I visited my parents we all had our spots too.