To consider the sex industry so I can spend more time with my DC

[ofcourseivenced]

I'm currently employed doing shift work, 4 12 hour shifts a week. I always knew I didn't want to be working so much when I had DC so I set out on becoming self employed. Turns out it's significantly more challenging and time consuming than I anticipated, and so I'm still not making any money as of yet. When DC was a baby I felt I had more time to pursue said self employment, during naps, in the evenings, and it was easier to find childcare as DC didn't require much stimulation. Now DC is a full throttle, mummy obsessed toddler who needs outings, constant supervision and sleeps considerably less, I naturally have less time to do work. There's also the huge amounts of guilt I'm carrying by feeling like I'm absent so much, even though I keep trying to tell myself it'll pay off when I no longer have to do shift work and instead can work remotely for short periods of time.

I don't actually remember where I got the idea from for making content for niche fetishes, but from curious research it seems like there is money to be made if you're attractive in certain ways and you know how to market your stuff. An old girlfriend of a friend allegedly made a few grand a month, which even 2/3rds of would be enough for me to stay afloat.

AIBU to even consider getting involved in this? I would attempt to remain anonymous wherever possible as have no desire to do it other than for "easier" money (by easier I mean doesn't require 48+ hours a week commitment at set times). I just want to be able to spend more time with my DC while they're young.

Given the massive year on year increase of adult producers on social media in recent times, It may well be something that parents have to accept and consider.

So, you'd be fine with your daughter approaching you with this prospect?

She's an adult. She is able to make her own decisions. No it would not be my first second or even third choice for her. But I'd rather be able to educate on the pitfalls as well as the good parts (the money) than bury my head in the sand and think it doesn't happen.

Maybe concentrate on both your anxiety issues.

Millions of women leave their precious babies to go to work.

Its an unpleasant job, there is no talking it up to be some sort of empowering choice. What it is, in the right mindset, is a means to make capital quickly to improve your life.

Now, that requires a mental robustness and planning. Some of the women I paid for, they have gone off and done other things which have been built, in part, with the money I handed over. Some have used that money to fund a lifestyle they wouldn't otherwise be able to afford. Realistically, they have snorted it away.

I can't comment on the more vulnerable end of the market, because I was paying for way out of my league attractiveness and also for massage/handjobs. I don't buy the whole high end thing, but they were conventionally very attractive, articulate, designer clothing etc. I can imagine the more vulnerable workers are not best placed to use the cash to build their way out of that work or command the fees that the ones I saw did.

I used to spend about a grand a month, which was two 1hr massage sessions. If there are say five of me one a lady's books a month, that's a fair chunk of money.

The problem is staying anonymous. The ones who make the big bucks aren’t. What’s going to set you apart from everyone else?

Sounds gross when you say it like that. But since the men aren't 'literally' wanking over her and she's earning enough to feed, clothe and keep a roof over her children's head, so what?

Not something I would do. But I'm not the OP.

More time with your child might come at a price. I imagine this line of work fucks with your head and your peace.

Of so you'd agree it's a fucking awful idea for a woman to be considering selling her body for the sexual gratification of men.

I have absolutely no idea why women are supporting the OPs decision

I'm saying there are pros and cons to it and better to educate. In the same way as her joining the army. Wouldn't want her in a job where she could get shot or blown up. But it is still a legal job and her decision.

Incidentally, with the further information the OP put, I gave the answer that for her I do not think it a good idea.

Mmm... Because it's her 'body' and she can do what she wants with it?

We're all 'commodities' to some degree, whatever job we do, selling our minds and souls. We're just not allowed to 'sell' our bodies. And since it's the men who are paying, in this instance, who's really being 'exploited' here?

If OP is able to remain anonymous, then it could be a good earner.

@Jumpingthruhoops this is the biggest lie ever sold to us that we can do what we want with our bodies and there be no consequences. The consequences are out there to see, women are trafficked and raped to feed the insatiable market needed by porn addled men.

And no we are not all commodities in some way unless we are selling our bodies through the sex industry or surrogacy.

Please read some actual feminist books rather than believe the drivel sold to you by others. Or come over to the FWR forum and learn something.

@yoghurtcoatedraisin you have posted several times on this thread and every single one of your posts makes me want to heave. I feel very sorry for your wife unwittingly married to someone which such low regard for women.

Wonder where I rank in comparison to all those stories on here of cheating husbands, husbands having affairs, husbands being abusive? Haven't done any of those things.

We are allowed to sell our bodies in this way if we desire. It is entirely legal.

It is just some people want to claim the moral high ground and claim it is disgusting, exploitative etc when they really don't know very much about it.

@ofcourseivenced what others skills do you have? Maybe there is a way you can earn more than now with better hours, without resorting to sex work, which I would certainly not judge, but people who know you and your children probably would.

And your logic is that the fewer consensual prostitutes there are, the fewer women will be illegally trafficked?

Oh, I agree. By 'allowed', I meant by the judgement police!

I remember when the F1 grid girls were axed. Cue lots of women hailing it as 'progress' and a 'win for feminism'.

The reality is, of course, was that it meant that hundreds of women with mortgages, bills and families to feed were now out of a job. One that paid very well and that - shock horror! - these women actually enjoyed.

All because a small minority of (largely) other women didn't 'agree' with it. That's not progress!

Its an unpleasant job, there is no talking it up to be some sort of empowering choice.

God the fact you paid women for sex knowing full well it's unpleasant for them and not empowering.

Grim as fuck, mate. Properly grim.

And no matter how 'high end' the woman you pay to have sex with is, you can never ever 100% know for sure that she isn't coerced, abused or trafficked.

You were just happy to run the risk she might be as you getting sexual gratification was more important to you than avoiding facilitating the abuse of women.

@AbraKedavra no that all of the buying of sex services are illegal but the women are not breaking the law. Nordic model.

I would much rather my partner cheated on me with someone other than a sex worker, because there's no way to know for sure when you pay a sex worker that they aren't abused, coerced or trafficked. And I would be sickened at the idea that in addition to him betraying me (which I would be gutted about whoever it was with of course) he had also risked contributing to the abuse of a woman.

You see for many of us, a man willing to run the risk he's contributing to the abuse of women is much worse than a run of the mill cheat.

It baffles me that you can't see that tbh.

OP you should check out the story line on EastEnders where a poverty stricken single mum does cam work, the story is still running but lets just say it has turned out not to be the easy money she hoped for.
So many people have pointed out the very real dangers and difficulty of actually making serious money without any consequences, and you have said yourself that you would find it degrading. Be a better role model for your baby.

Patronising much?

Who are you to say she isn't 'owning her sexuality' if she wants to open an Only Fans account?

Respectfully, you're talking nonsense. As I've said up-thread, in this scenario, it is the men being exploited, as they are the ones having to part with their cash!

What another woman chooses to do with her body couldn't be LESS of your business!

Using the grid girls example you give above. You will notice not one person has replied why women seeing male performers seems acceptable but the reverse not.

Lots of interesting comments on the sex industry piece.

I know it's not what you asked but why don't you give up the non-paid self employment work (per your last post you said it's not paying) and stick with your 4.5/7 days work. This is a usual amount of work for any parent, some work more some work less, but your pattern is quite normal. Then you'd be working reasonable hours for the same money that you're earning now (because no 2.5 days doing stuff that isn't making you money).

Is it not this simple? What have I missed??

If working in the sex industry is so empowering and lucrative, one might wonder why more men don't do it?