To consider the sex industry so I can spend more time with my DC

[ofcourseivenced]

I'm currently employed doing shift work, 4 12 hour shifts a week. I always knew I didn't want to be working so much when I had DC so I set out on becoming self employed. Turns out it's significantly more challenging and time consuming than I anticipated, and so I'm still not making any money as of yet. When DC was a baby I felt I had more time to pursue said self employment, during naps, in the evenings, and it was easier to find childcare as DC didn't require much stimulation. Now DC is a full throttle, mummy obsessed toddler who needs outings, constant supervision and sleeps considerably less, I naturally have less time to do work. There's also the huge amounts of guilt I'm carrying by feeling like I'm absent so much, even though I keep trying to tell myself it'll pay off when I no longer have to do shift work and instead can work remotely for short periods of time.

I don't actually remember where I got the idea from for making content for niche fetishes, but from curious research it seems like there is money to be made if you're attractive in certain ways and you know how to market your stuff. An old girlfriend of a friend allegedly made a few grand a month, which even 2/3rds of would be enough for me to stay afloat.

AIBU to even consider getting involved in this? I would attempt to remain anonymous wherever possible as have no desire to do it other than for "easier" money (by easier I mean doesn't require 48+ hours a week commitment at set times). I just want to be able to spend more time with my DC while they're young.

I have a job, my shift work pays my bills but also means I'm absent from my DC's life for 4.5/7 days a week which both I and my DC are really struggling with (the separation anxiety is quite apparent and overwhelming), plus then the time I'm devoting on my 2.5 days off to the non-paid self employment work.

It's very competitive, just another branch of self employment and you would be pushed into doing more and more horrible things to try and earn more.
My friend had a flatmate that did it and it made her a bit messed up. Very few make good money.
The community around you may find out and it would have a bad effect on your child.

Bloody hell OP how about trying to get into the tech industry that pays really well rather than the sex trade. There is a long thread called tech boot camps and another one in chat called women in tech that might help.

It's a big effing fat no from me. Anything that commodifies us as women is just a big no.

The market is long ago saturated with people like you who think it's "easy money" and they can do it without making big sacrifices. The easy money is long gone.

OP, some really stuck up replies here.
Honestly, go for it doing whatever you want to do. I mean look at Rebecca Goodwin, amazing. Not saying your going to be a millionaire but anyone who has a problem with it saying you degrading yourself etc, remember how it feels now working your arse off for what you fet now.

There’s not as much money in it as you think unless you put in a LOT of hours doing fan interactions etc, which is pretty much the opposite of what you’re looking for?

This question is like “how long is a string?”, everybody is going to give you a different answer depending on their fears and line of thinking. I would say “try it” and see how you feel about it. Ultimately is not what
others think about you but what you think about you. Be very careful of showing your face if you have a child. You wouldn’t be the first mother whose teenage children have been teased my their friends for finding their Mom naked on the internet. It’s a possibility, shit happens.

@ofcourseivenced

Sorry - I misunderstood. I thought the shift work was part of the self employment.

Unless you have a very specific niche like being morbidly obese, a dwarf, amputee etc then you will struggle to make much money from it.

Think about how many women do this and how much men can get for free.

You would have to do something so unique that it would have to be something men can’t get for free and needs interaction for that they can’t get from all of the other women out there.

If this is something I were to do I would feel really uncomfortable doing in in the same house as my child.
I would also be worried that someone I knew would find out and say something to someone else and then it gets round.

You're talking creating and selling content online to make some money on the side, not meeting up face to face correct?

If it's the former, 100% go for it. Easy money and you definitely can be anonymous (some people even wear a mask or never reveal their face). It can be more demanding than you think to build up a fan base for an established income, so consider that before handing in an notice on your current employment.

I agree.

You can’t just make one video from it and think you’ll earn thousands.

If you look into it you’ll see these women put in hours of work and they need to put in extra work to find out what other people are doing and how to stay different/relevant.

Of course give it a try if you want to but you’ll probably find you are working more hours for less money than you are now.

Stuck up ideas like what? Commodification of women's bodies is bad? Her kids might find out?. She won't make the money she thinks she will? I mean none of these are stuck up, they are reality.

Why are we enabling entitled men access to our bodies?

An old school friend does OF and is quite big on it (probably one of the dream examples you'll have heard of)
She has to be always online
Always doing "fresh" things
Hires a team of people to answer her fans no matter the time of day
Has had people find her real name and personal details including address
Cannot get a mortgage easily and is running everything has a limited company

It's not as easy as you think and won't free up any time..

My friend shaves her legs naked on onlyfans, doesn't show her face (she wears a diamante balaclava) and makes £800 a time. Can only do it once every 3 weeks but for an hour of work I'm a littlw envious. She has a decent following which took a long time to build. She massively takes the piss out of the men who pay to watch her too in a 'more fool them' kindof way.

@jeaux90 Why are we enabling entitled men access to our bodies?

Because it can pay really well, put a roof over your families head, give you more time to be with your kids and for a lot of women it’s much preferable than stacking shelves?

Rocket science .

I’d be worried that its all there on-line forever. I guess how would you feel if your DC comes home one day from school and told you they were told by someone how you earned money?

I’m not judging you but I just think it’s not a great idea tbh.

No judgement here, many ways of earning are much less respectable, like doing marketing for a tobacco products.

I just don't believe the easy money for short hours are there.
Take into account some expenses to establish the scene, time to propagate yourself and build a fanbase. From what I read, the big money aren't in the basic subscription unless you already are a celebrity, they are in fullfiling special wishes.
And those aren't that much about sex, but about power and control. So if you get to the lucky position to actually be earning and having the active fans, many might find entertainment in pushing your boundaries.

Are you unique? Do you understand the niche you are thinking about? How easy would it be for others to copy you? Do you understand the tax implications?
If you feel confident, the choice is yours. Just run the numbers before crossing that river

The problem.for me would be the anonymity, the idea of DC, friends and family finding ou would be too much for me....that and you'll probably get a lot of really awful chat which may make you question humanity and reak havoc on yourself esteem.

However that could balance out if you made enough to change your life dynamic and have extra cash to make a better life for yourself. If you can stomach it, then go for it. I wish you only good luck.

This "empowerment" crap is the biggest liberal feminist lie ever.

It's not about us as individuals, it's about the whole sex industry.

Every time a man pays for access to women, on only fans, at strip clubs, by porn or prostitution another woman is sexually assaulted, trafficked etc

It's the thin edge of a very horrible wedge that impacts the most vulnerable women in society.

I think you need to consider it for a long time.

For example, what will you say you do when people ask? When your kids wake up in the night and you're wearing a nappy with chocolate on your nipples what will you say to them? How will you explain the missing few years on your CV to future employers? How will you explain that you're busy in your bedroom for 2-3 hours and 'not to be disturbed'? What if your kids find your dressing up clothes?
Are you happy to tell your friends? What will you list your job as for tax purposes etc etc etc

My friend makes content for only fans. She works relentlessly creating content and engaging with the fans and most of the time her main earner is making bespoke content for her fans at their request. She got £200 for one photo of her vulva that was sent directly as a bespoke request but originally she never planned to show that area of herself when she started out. Over time she realised the real money comes from the more explicit content and she’s ok with that and it serves her well!

If you are the type of person who would struggle to deal with that then it wouldn’t work. Only you know the answer but it’s really not easy money as others have said. My friend spends so much time online it’s like a full time job really where you would need to be wearing lingerie and shooting pictures/videos for a large part of the day!

On the flip side she did have a subscriber who only wanted her to message him and demand money, which he would send over at her request. He never asked for anything in return, not even photos. He just paid her to financially dominate him so if you bag yourself one of those it can be easy money I guess!

Listen to Megan Murphay's podcast. She has an episode about Only Fans. The average person makes £147 a month. This is for making pictures and videos of yourself that will be on their internet forever.

Don't do it. Stick with your normal job. I doubt there's as much money in this as you imagine and I reckon you'll find it much more unpleasant than you think you will.

This is not a good idea. The reality is that you won’t earn the money you need from anonymous content.

What will you do when one of the school dads recognises you and propositions you? When he tells his wife and she tells everyone else as part of their messy divorce? When no one will let their kids play with yours because they don’t want them around you? When your child’s 15 year old male friend finds your content and shares it round the year group?

if you’re going to do it, you have to truly own it and all its consequences, because otherwise it’ll be a stick to beat you and your kids with forever.