To consider the sex industry so I can spend more time with my DC

[ofcourseivenced]

I'm currently employed doing shift work, 4 12 hour shifts a week. I always knew I didn't want to be working so much when I had DC so I set out on becoming self employed. Turns out it's significantly more challenging and time consuming than I anticipated, and so I'm still not making any money as of yet. When DC was a baby I felt I had more time to pursue said self employment, during naps, in the evenings, and it was easier to find childcare as DC didn't require much stimulation. Now DC is a full throttle, mummy obsessed toddler who needs outings, constant supervision and sleeps considerably less, I naturally have less time to do work. There's also the huge amounts of guilt I'm carrying by feeling like I'm absent so much, even though I keep trying to tell myself it'll pay off when I no longer have to do shift work and instead can work remotely for short periods of time.

I don't actually remember where I got the idea from for making content for niche fetishes, but from curious research it seems like there is money to be made if you're attractive in certain ways and you know how to market your stuff. An old girlfriend of a friend allegedly made a few grand a month, which even 2/3rds of would be enough for me to stay afloat.

AIBU to even consider getting involved in this? I would attempt to remain anonymous wherever possible as have no desire to do it other than for "easier" money (by easier I mean doesn't require 48+ hours a week commitment at set times). I just want to be able to spend more time with my DC while they're young.

Even Onlyfans or webcam type stuff you're in danger of attracting a crazy stalker or having your pictures stolen.

Drop the self employed work for now and can you move to 3 shifts per week?

That would make a big time difference. Don't do the fetishism work, your child or someone they know are likely to come across it in the future.

My friend makes around £4-£5k a month selling underwear photo's and vids. Plus interacting in suggestive messaging on OF. Never naked or anything else. she sells a lot of dirty underwear to her subscribers too! People seem to buy anything.....

I'm not against anything like that! She has a lovely life and does Call Centre QA as a side job too, to keep something sensible on her CV,

In all honesty I think it's a bit of both, one can lead to the other regardless of which you start doing first. Of course other things can lead to both of them as well, and those often contribute to the mix, for example poverty, mental health issues, relationship breakdown, homelessness and so on.

I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I don't see any harm in getting paid for photos/videos. I wouldn't have my face in it because I wouldn't cause embarrassment for my family, I wouldn't actually have sex because of the risk of disease or violent crime - however online, photos and videos of private parts are fair game and don't hurt anyone (IF IT'S CONSENSUAL).

If someone wants to pay me for photos of body parts that - let's face it - 50% of the population own, then fair play, they can see what they want!

@00100001 I totally agree. And in a few years time will no doubt be trying to support their daughters dealing with partners chronic porn/sexting habits.

It's all about easy money these days, don't bother getting some good qualifications for a career or building up a business that doesn't require you selling yourself to men . Just get your tits and dildo out and then wonder why we have so many sleazy men out there who actually think you are jealous of women making money doing this stuff. We are going back to Victorian days where large parts of the female population were prostitutes unless married to a rich man. Except in those days you starved and had to sleep on a washing line if you didn't- these days it's that you can't afford that holiday in Dubai or a newish car and might have to work full time.

So if your daughter was doing this, you'd be cool with it and support her fully in her career choice?

I do wonder what the PPs would say if their 18 yo daughter decided to pursue a career in OF instead of doing some sort of apprenticeship/training/degree.

I can't imagine they'd be fine with it and be fully supportive of them in that choice.

Are you entitled to benefit top ups? I really wouldn't go for sex work. If possible look for a small retail job.

We shouldn't normalise sex work. I have a terrible feeling that if we do, the government will say any woman who isn't willing to take a job in the sex industry is no longer entitled to out of work benefits. I wouldn't put it past them.

@beatrix1234 I'm sorry to hear that you find a naked woman degrading, I hope that's not the way you feel when you're trying to seduce a potential sex partner in your private life.

Oh come on! You know I didn't imply this so stop being ridiculous! If a woman makes a decision to be sexual with a man and she's happy and comfortable with it thats fine but to get paid to feed a man's dirty fantasy when the woman is probably not entirely happy about the act is sad !

No one is telling any woman what to do with their body - we are just giving our opinions like op asked !

I think its a hell of a lot harder to make meaningful money than you think.

I think you need to do some careful research about how much you’d make, what you’d need to do, how long you would need to do it for to make proper cash. The truth is that there’s no such thing as a free lunch.

I personally wouldn’t do it, but I’m often shocked at the sexual and emotional treatment some women will tolerate from their partners just to avoid being part of the paid workforce - and that’s from men who are supposed to love them. At least with this kind of work you’ll (presumably) declare your income, pay taxes and have your own source of money.

@beatrix1234 let's make it a 'free' site then and see how many women are happy to do all this stuff just for kicks - otherwise it's simply digital prostitution

Don’t make it ‘I’m doing it for my children’ as that’s a really pathetic and poor excuse. No one needs to turn to selling their body for whatever reason nowadays, it’s not the 1960s. You would be doing it for easy money, when it’s not really easy money at all. Have some self respect and DONT do it for your children!

I assume that's a joke right?

What do you mean?

I mean I assume you're joking, as in saying something funny/ironic and that you don't seriously think the govt would force women into sex work (because that would be a crazy thing to say and not even LOJ at his most swivel-eyed would come out with that).

Bit controversial but reading this if you are a single parent scale back your hours and get a decent UC top up instead. That is more palatable than sex work.

Why don't you see your DC 7 days a week sometimes? Are they at school? If so, can't you get a 9-5 job? Then you have every weekend together? UC helps with childcare costs.

@beatrix1234 this has nothing to do with sexuality.

This is to do with the commodification of women's bodies through the whole sex industry right through to surrogacy.

Have you ever actually read any proper feminist literature?

Feminism isn't about us doing what we want as individuals , it's about the policies and social issues that impact all women especially the most vulnerable women in society.

@BloodyHellKen

She wasn't joking no.
Germany

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/1482371/If-you-dont-take-a-job-as-a-prostitute-we-can-stop-your-benefits.html

Well, go into it assuming that you will not remain anonymous. That’s not very likely nowadays. So if you aren’t comfortable with your neighbours and the school parents knowing, don’t do it.

I guess if it’s a niche where you don’t have sex. Like those women who mother ‘adult babies’. I know of a woman who earns a living off this after her H left her and she was a single mum. I presume it means changing their shitty nappies though. Gross.

Like any self employed job, you will probably my have to work quite hard to get noticed, establish a reputation and build clients. I know of one woman who makes a good living as a dominatrix ( no sex) but she has a lot of experience and contacts in the sex world before getting to that stage. I don’t think there’s any easy money. Anything claiming it is, is probably scamming you.

That is horrific and it was under Gerhard Schröder's centre left/green alliance government I note. The left screwing women over again 🙄

We have to hope that wouldn't become a thing here but for some reason some left wing supporters (eg a certain Mr B Bragg) have a lot of time for normalising sex work so it doesn't look great.

I don't judge anyone doing sex work, however I think there are some issues with this you need to consider.

first of all, there's no guarantee you're going to make enough money with what you plan on doing. The market for purely online content is oversaturated - sure some women make thousands of pounds a month but those are rare. A lot of young women heard this was a quick, easy way to make money, flooded to those sites and now there's so many women selling intimate photos / videos that they end up not actually making much because there's so many of them doing it.

also, you wish to stay anonymous- much like the first point, there's so many people making this content - why would people pay for yours if they don't get to see your face or whatever when there's thousands of other content creators who will show their face

it's also probably going to be extremely time consuming - more so than you would think. Realistically, you are selling a product (be that pictures, videos whatever) so it needs to be good if you expect people to pay for it. Do you have professional camera equipment, lighting, costumes etc etc because you can bet your competition will have

ultimately its up to you but I don't think online sex work is the magical money tree people believe it to be. Most people in fact end up making only a few hundred pounds a month if that and then there is that content out there forever