To consider the sex industry so I can spend more time with my DC

[ofcourseivenced]

I'm currently employed doing shift work, 4 12 hour shifts a week. I always knew I didn't want to be working so much when I had DC so I set out on becoming self employed. Turns out it's significantly more challenging and time consuming than I anticipated, and so I'm still not making any money as of yet. When DC was a baby I felt I had more time to pursue said self employment, during naps, in the evenings, and it was easier to find childcare as DC didn't require much stimulation. Now DC is a full throttle, mummy obsessed toddler who needs outings, constant supervision and sleeps considerably less, I naturally have less time to do work. There's also the huge amounts of guilt I'm carrying by feeling like I'm absent so much, even though I keep trying to tell myself it'll pay off when I no longer have to do shift work and instead can work remotely for short periods of time.

I don't actually remember where I got the idea from for making content for niche fetishes, but from curious research it seems like there is money to be made if you're attractive in certain ways and you know how to market your stuff. An old girlfriend of a friend allegedly made a few grand a month, which even 2/3rds of would be enough for me to stay afloat.

AIBU to even consider getting involved in this? I would attempt to remain anonymous wherever possible as have no desire to do it other than for "easier" money (by easier I mean doesn't require 48+ hours a week commitment at set times). I just want to be able to spend more time with my DC while they're young.

A good friend was for years a escort ( I only found out after 8 years of friendship) she did indeed make lots of money but she was out in situations that where scary, and despite her job supposedly involved no sex , she was often pressured to have it and 4 years ago she ended up being beaten up by a client that was drunk and high . It too her ages to recover from it and thankfully she nonlinear does it . She has 2 children . I think they prefer a smaller home than a dead mum

I get that, and I can appreciate looking at it that way.

But...

It's not a 1 for 1 situation. 1 person is not going to be trafficked or kidnapped every time a man watched porn. Sure, at a statistical level, there is likely a correlation, but that is really being dramatic and ultimately blaming the wrong people.

It is very likely this one person making sex content will not affect anyone or anything. What it will do, is make her money. Which will have a positive effect on her life. Its like complaining because your neighbour doesn't recycle as it takes too much time to organise. It's annoying to watch, but realistically, the big corporations will have the most impact.

I did an internship in FAANG and was worried I wouldn't be able to convert my internship into a full time position. My colleagues and classmates and "friends" told me it's not that bad if I don't make it as I am lucky I have OF to fall back on. This is how things are now that sex work has been normalised.

I hope anyone advocating for this shite is happy that this is the world young women have to live in now.

Hmmm…do you watch Eastenders? Didnt work out well for Stacey! In all seriousness, if you did this and your child or significant other in the future found out, it could ruin your life. There is no such thing as easy money.

Here's what happens. You go in because of the money. Except because it is paid rape and you are objectified you develop mental health problems -PtSD almost certainly. Then to cope you turn to drink or drugs. Then your habit becomes expensive and you have to continue. Then you spiral, lose everything.

Don't do it.

You could give it a go and see how you like it, it may not be a lucrative as you think.

I would Definitely remain anonymous though

I think it would take a while to build any kind of fan base, I also wonder if it would take a toll on your mental health, I think it would affect mine

That’s a good suggestion, your time might be better spent doing a short tech course to get your foot in the door somewhere, then study further once you get in

Are you happy to go on on careers day and talk about it? If not - don’t do it

@ofcourseivenced

OP one day your kids will grow up and fly the nest but you’ll have to live with yourself forever. Don’t do it OP (I say that because you think it will make you feel badly about yourself). Put yourself first.

DP just asked if there’s be a market in Only Fans for him to film his weekly fungal toe treatment. I’m wondering if there’d be a market for my cankles.

My friend shaves her legs naked on onlyfans, doesn't show her face (she wears a diamante balaclava) and makes £800 a time

^^

And £200 for a pic of a vulva, as per above

These men are utterly pathetic. Absolutely begs belief what they pay for

Generally you only make good money if you've already built a successful social media following. Be prepared for all of your photos and videos to be leaked on twitter and Reddit for free.

Do not do this. If I was your child, I would not want you to sell yourself to spend more time with me. There are lots of ways of being a worthwhile parent. It isn’t all about the amount of time you spend, it is so much more than that.

You do not need to feel ashamed that your self employed business is not up and running the way you had hoped. You are clearly a hard worker and motivated person. These are values you can demonstrate to your child. How to keep going when life does not turn out as you hope. Very important for all of us. The most important thing you can give your child is love, let them know you have their back. There is so much you can give your child without going down this route.

I wish you and your child well.

You’ll just be tempted to go to further and further lengths to make more money, and convince yourself it’s the last compromise, the last time etc etc.

If you are ever found out locally, your DC will suffer when they go to school. That can’t be good for them. Leave this idea in the bin where it belongs, and find a way around it. The obstacle is the way - you want more time with your DC, you can find it, just not this way

I

Sorry things are so tough for you. As far as I know, doing only fans takes a lot of work! You may find yourself doing the same amount of hours. Can I ask what you're doing as a freelancer? It can be incredibly tough but once you have a few clients you can start outsourcing and give yourself a little time back. I definitely don't judge your choices, we all do what we can for our families, just worried that you might not have the freedom you need. X

And it’s so sad that 34% people voting on here seem to think it’s a good idea, when women are supporting and encouraging other women to commoditise themselves for perverts to wank over it’s a sad fucking day

I honestly think this industry is the new ‘oh why don’t you start a cupcake business, you’re such a good baker’. It’s already being done. To death.

I would say do not do it. But...... my friend does only fans and her kids go on holiday every other month it seems. To amazing destinations. Lapland, Disney Florida, Absolutely amazing all inclusive 5* beach holidays. They live in a lovely home and have everything they could ever ask for. I couldn't do it. But she is living the dream.

Absolutely. This is not freedom or liberation.

OP Please do not do this. As a former staff nurse and student nurse I met many women involved in prostitution. They were without exception very unhappy people.

I'm sure some of them must have, at one point, thought they could separate it from their 'normal lives' but in the end the toll of selling themselves (and quite often the alcohol/drug addiction they developed to help them cope with their 'profession') was just too much.

I'm sure someone will be along to say that they loved being a prostitute and made x amount of money (aka the happy hooker idea) but honestly your physical and mental health and that of your children is really not worth it. the women that do make money and survive are definitely not the norm.

I'm not judging you, (I was once so hard up I considered clipping to get by) I just think it could be a very dangerous move and one you live to regret.

You must be feeling desperate. I won't judge. I've been there.

When DCs were little I dropped to part time work as just couldn't keep up with my long working hours. I was so weary. Read a woman's magazine in GP surgery one day and there was an article about a woman who did phone sex chats. She was a single mum and did well out of it. So I thought I'd try. Read up loads online, including articles saying it wouldn't be lucrative due to internet porn etc. Took me ages to pluck up the courage to start but I did. & for 10 years I did well enough, it certainly was lucrative, and kept my head above water. I'd log on when DCs were at school, and sometimes overnight too.

I wouldn't have felt able to do anything visual such as webcam, or meeting someone. But phones felt OK as just a voice. I didn't care. It gave me time with my children and money in my pocket that's all that mattered. Just be honest with yourself as to whether you can actually manage what you intend to do.

No amount of money would make me go against my values.
i won’t contribute to an industry that uses people in this way, nor would I have some dirty old man dribbling over my picture. (Shudder)

Talk about dramatic! 😫

Of course any person involved in that type of work is objectified. And no the OP shouldn't do it as she readily admits she would feel a loss of dignity.

But if a Woman has the confidence and self assurance to do sex work, it is up to her. And false claims by pearl clutchers come from a place of jealousy in my opinion.

Also how many of those that gasp in horror at sex work will shreak with laughter at a male stripper at a hen do, or ogle at the chippendales.

It's a ridiculous idea because you're just kicking the can down the road.

OF isn't a long term solution for earning income.
Most people hardly make anything from it.

Say your did make a little money from it for 6 months to a year, and then it dries up and you make nothing. You're right back to square 1 with zero job skills.

The smartest thing you can do for yourself and your child is to get some solid job skills and training that pays a living wage.

This means something in technology, accounting, finance.

Look into financial aid and online degrees.