To be annoyed with a wedding invite I've received?

[shooflyer]

We received a wedding invite via email the other day from DP's side of the family. They are Asian, so I’m not sure if this is ‘normal’ and accepted in their culture, but I’ve found the invite poorly worded and planned out. And I’m also a little miffed about the spelling errors 😑

The invite has no structured timings for the day. It only has a ‘guest arrival’ time, and states that food will be served afterwards. WTF does that mean? When does the wedding / ceremony actually start? How long after the ceremony will food be served (just thinking whether my children will be starving and if I need to plan for that.) I’ve been to another of of their family ‘events’ where the party was scheduled to at 7pm but we didn’t eat dinner until 11:20! My children were starving!!!

Three out of the 4 members of our family (DP and both children) had their names spelled wrong on the invite! My husband is close family with the bride and we see them fairly regularly!

The invite also mentioned ‘No Boxed Gifts’ which I felt to be quite rude and tacky. It’s widely known that everyone gives money as a gift in their culture (both the bride & groom) for weddings and special occasions. Does it really need to be specified on the invite like that?

When I was married wedding etiquette was quite a big deal. I ensured that everyone’s names were spelled correctly despite more than half being from an unfamiliar language / culture than mine. Sometimes I had to go through several other family members to get the correct spelling! And I made sure everyone knew the exact order of the day so that they knew exactly when and where they had to be.

Has etiquette changed significantly now? This side of the family are fairly well off and well educated. Most are lawyers, doctors, small business owners etc, so I'm really most annoyed about the spelling.

No - but as I said, it's not clever, witty or funny and it still isn't.

You’re massively overthinking this.

You sound awful and slightly racist! You’ve said that it’s in their culture to not give boxed gifts, so what’s the issue with writing it? I’m Asian and if someone had spoken this way about my culture, I’d be fuming. You should also know then that Asian weddings tend to be larger than some other cultures, so they don’t place as much emphasis on things like invites as they invite a lot more people.

you don’t sound like you want to go, so don’t, I doubt you’ll be missed.

and to echo other PPs, just ask them the questions if they bother you that much.

Goodness OP @shooflyer you sound like an intolerant judgemental type of person when it comes to others cultural norms. All that you’ve described is pretty standard.
If you don’t want to go then dont go, but don’t whinge about someone else’s invites!

i AM ND so im allowed.

Just don't go. You don't like them. Don't ruin their big day.

Btw, no boxed gifts mean no thank you they dont want 5 dinner sets and 10 fruit bowl sets to sort out. To closer family members they may have given a wedding list.

Same as to the other poster get off your high horse I AM ND hence recognising the symptoms,

Behave. Nobody gets a free pass to be a dick.

Don’t go or go prepared. It’s not that hard.

To be fair, I don't think it's usual to specify all the details of what time people are eating etc? Most weddings I've been to have said ceremony is at the time and people get there at an appropriate time. The spelling issue isn't great, I can see why you'd be a bit put out by that.

We are going over to their place for dinner on the weekend. I'll have a chat with them then and get a better idea of timings.

Why would you not just do this anyway?
Instead of making a thread and bitching about it.

I don’t understand why you’d even go to someone’s home that you clearly don’t like and are so jealous of.

I hope for your DHs sake no one tells the bride or groom about this thread.

I have been to a lot of weddings and have never once been given indicative timings of events and meals. Is this normal.

in terms of the name spelling - do you think it’s a deliberate snub is that why it has upset you.

could whoever wrote the invites be dyslexic? They probably had a lot of invited to write so maybe got family to help? Or if they got a company to do maybe they did a bad job?

I have to say it really wouldn’t bother me.

I have been to several Asian weddings. The one thing I am sure of is that the chance of anyone going hungry is nil.

Talk about anal.

You do realise OP, life is short - too short to waste on getting your knickers in a twist over something so trivial!

now now, no need to stoop to being rude.

are you?

@MagpiePi absolutely agree!! 😂😂

Just don't go op, simple. Point out they haven't invited you properly so you will not bless them with the gift of your company 🙄

If you're that bothered and feel so aggrieved that people have had the cheek to ask you to share their special day with them, just don't go. No need to be a miserable (and unreasonable) arse about it.

I have never ever received a run sheet with a wedding invitation, and I am on the wrong side of middle aged. I once went to a wedding that specified a time/location they wanted people to arrive and then a different time/location several hours later for another venue, but no indication on either about food etc as that’s nuts. You get what you get when you get it. When my kids were young I would take a handbag full of good/snacks to everything and it often came in handy. How hard is it not to bother bride/groom for this level of detail and just take a few packed sandwiches, juice boxes and healthy snacks in your handbag for if needed for pete’s sake.

Very very normal for Asian weddings. If you’re close to the couple ask for a rough guide on timings. If it’s a 1pm start don’t expect food until 3/4pm.

They may know you well but how often do they see your names written down?

Chill out OP you're being Massively unreasonable.

They've invited you to share their special and and you're worried about misspelled names. This isn't about you. It's their day.

Jeez