To be annoyed with a wedding invite I've received?

[shooflyer]

We received a wedding invite via email the other day from DP's side of the family. They are Asian, so I’m not sure if this is ‘normal’ and accepted in their culture, but I’ve found the invite poorly worded and planned out. And I’m also a little miffed about the spelling errors 😑

The invite has no structured timings for the day. It only has a ‘guest arrival’ time, and states that food will be served afterwards. WTF does that mean? When does the wedding / ceremony actually start? How long after the ceremony will food be served (just thinking whether my children will be starving and if I need to plan for that.) I’ve been to another of of their family ‘events’ where the party was scheduled to at 7pm but we didn’t eat dinner until 11:20! My children were starving!!!

Three out of the 4 members of our family (DP and both children) had their names spelled wrong on the invite! My husband is close family with the bride and we see them fairly regularly!

The invite also mentioned ‘No Boxed Gifts’ which I felt to be quite rude and tacky. It’s widely known that everyone gives money as a gift in their culture (both the bride & groom) for weddings and special occasions. Does it really need to be specified on the invite like that?

When I was married wedding etiquette was quite a big deal. I ensured that everyone’s names were spelled correctly despite more than half being from an unfamiliar language / culture than mine. Sometimes I had to go through several other family members to get the correct spelling! And I made sure everyone knew the exact order of the day so that they knew exactly when and where they had to be.

Has etiquette changed significantly now? This side of the family are fairly well off and well educated. Most are lawyers, doctors, small business owners etc, so I'm really most annoyed about the spelling.

Apart from OP no one has said that @LuckySantangelo35

Money is so uncouth don't you know,

and no-one gets more offended than a MN poster faced with the reality her amazing taste in toasters or carefully sourced gift might not be received with the adoration they think it deserves 😂😂😂

Of course they have.

I think the no boxed gifts is a cultural thing.
In my culture boxed gifts are a definite no no at wedding - it’s either cash or cheque and and at a push a gift voucher. We even have a special box at the reception to put the money (which is in a card/envelope in)

I've bever been to a wedding where timings have been given before we get there. We just made sure to have a decent breakfast, and when dc was younger we had snacks with us.

I'd be miffed if my name was spelled wrongly but perhaps the person doing the invitation is not fluent in written English?

You mentioned a previous wedding starting at 7pm and not eating until 11.20. If I were attending an wedding at that time, I wouldn’t expect to be eating until at least 9pm and would have had dinner beforehand. Dinner is at 5pm sharp in my house, so no way I could even last until 7pm.

For this wedding, either eat beforehand or take cereal bars. As for misspelling names,
it’s no big deal. I lived in Asia for 6 years and always spelled names incorrectly. People have been misspelling my name my whole life. It’s no big deal.

Of course they have.

If there was the odd one I didn't notice @HarrietJet .

I've felt that the MN trend has definitely been that NO BOXED GIFTS is OK.

No hobbies Harriet?

If you’re close family - just ask

Is this like a comedy post? Is anyone really that obnoxious so publicly? 😳😳

I thought english 2nd language or maybe theyre just dyslexic or havent been taught to spell very well. Who knows but to mock them on a public forum that regularly makes the msm is a bit shit tbh

I've been to several Asian weddings and barely organised chaos is the best description, and timings do not exist! They were all amazing! But forget the etiquette and order of a typical British wedding, these are far more fun. Most are several days long too.

Take food for the kids though, one we ate at 2pm and 10pm!

Bring snacks for your kids just in case

I'll probably be criticised for how unhealthy or unpalatable this is (or might be, I'm not sure) but my dds were very close in age so were very small at the same time. They both liked baked beans and once, in an emergency situation, I spooned cold baked beans out of a small tin with a ring pull opening, to each of them, and they walloped it down. Loved it.

So in the future, when going somewhere with an indeterminate mealtime, I took along two small tins of beans, two small bananas and a couple of rusks. I could fill them both up to bursting in very little time at all with no inconvenience. They rarely got as far as the rusks. Oh, and don't forget a couple of teaspoons and a husband or friend maybe so it can be done in tandem more easily.

If anyone wants to report me to social services it's too late. This was over 20 years ago and they both work in a social service setting so they would be investigating themselves. They both still like beans. One is vegan so they are almost compulsory.

The emergency situation was at a wedding, which is what sparked this memory.
The venue supplied me with the beans. Free of charge.

Cold beans straight out of the tin are great, I often eat it as a snack and it’s the same level of healthiness as heating them up.

Lack of correct spelling shows lack of respect.
It only takes a few minutes to make sure you’ve spelt everyone’s name correctly, Magpie.

Names huh. It is what it is!
I've been married to my husband for 24yrs. For more than 24yrs we have sent several cards a yr to part of the family, with my name spelt correctly. We are friends on fb with my name spelt correctly. Every birthday and christmas card from them over that time has had my name spelt incorrectly. I cant get excited or upset about it, they like me, we get on great and often socialise. I don't know why it happened but they are not doing it to upset me and most definitely not disrespectful.

do the bride and groom a favour, stay home

I would ask them what time the food will be at. I would also bring some snacks for the kids in case of emergency hunger.

I would gift them cash. You could deliberately misunderstand the no boxed gifts rule and not bring a gift at all if you prefer.

Their spelling ability would not bother me.