To not want her coming in the house?

[Ogy]

My husbands ex wife, his older child's mum. AIBU to not want her just waltzing into our house?

A bit of background, she never used to so I don't know why it's suddenly started but it's irritating as hell. My stepdaughter is old enough to get any things together and walk to the car at the bottom of the garden or meet at the door but for some reason her mum has started just coming in and waiting for her inside the house. She'll ring DD rather than knock and then she'll just come in whilst SDD goes upstairs and gets the last of her things.

Due to SDDs age now, DH sometimes goes to work in the mornings rather than wait for her to be collected before going which means sometimes I'm here alone too with our DC. This isn't a woman who's been very friendly toward me either so I have no desire to make random small talk with her in my living room waiting for DSD.

Aibu to tell DH to speak to her and ask that she doesn't just come in especially when hes not here. She turned up early yesterday (not uncommon for her to be early or late) so I was just lay on the sofa in my nighty eating my breakfast when she waltzed in! I'm sick of it.

Contact is 2 nights on 2 off so it's not a tiny amount of time either.

She just lets her self in!?! Wow that is insanely rude!! I wouldn't be having any of that. She is walking all over your boundaries as she thinks she has the right to. Absolutely do not stand for it. My ex mother in law would do this, I've nipped down stairs half naked after a shower and being the only one in, to get clothes out the dryer to find ex mil in my house making herself a cuppa!?! I have no idea why as we didn't get on so absolutely no reason for her to be there when it was just me at home. It's basically telling you that they are more important and your house and rules mean nothing to them.

Also if she can just waltz in so can random other people and there are plenty of weirdos that will. I would lock that door and keep it that way (or get a different fitting because you should just be able to shut the door and it not be openable from the outside without a key) unless you always have the latch on... In which case get that off asap! Tell her it's not on and if she complains tell her it's not up for debate and keep the door locked

Blimey, not unreasonable in the slightest. It's a huge infringement in your privacy and she is rude in the extreme.

If DH's ex had tried this she'd only have done it once.

I keep my front door locked at all times. After having a man stumble into my door, incoherent, scarey, rolling around on the floor half dressed. I never left my door unlocked since.
My husband soon learned to lock the front door.

Ps. I had to call the police on weird, naked man.

1. Keep door locked.

2 Tell dsd that from now she's to meet her dm in the car. She is not to open door to snoopy bitch her dm

1. Refuse to budge on this.

You may have to police this for a while but worth it.