To have walked out the car dealership after this blatant rudeness, perhaps sexism?

[Sorentolove]

DH and I went to upgrade our shared family car (I drive it 80% of the time) at the local dealership.

The car was purchased 4 years ago at another (same brand) dealership and we're coming to the end of the Lease.

It was purchased under his name, this one will be purchased under my name.

The appointment was made in his name.

We arrived slightly ahead of time and we're greeted pleasantly, offered coffees and waited for the staff member. Another pleasant staff member passed by and had a brief chat with us both.

Our fellow came up to us at the wait area introduced himself to my DH, shook his hand, and started talking about the car we'd expressed an interest in.

Rather taken aback at being ignored, I stood up, offered my hand and introduced myself as Mrs SLove.

He shook my hand and guided us to his desk where we talked for a couple of minutes about the car, then he said he'd get the keys and then show us the vehicle.

DH and I looked at each other and we saw we were on the same page that this branch did not deserve our money and we decided to leave.

I caught the manager's eye on the way out and explained our disappointment.

He was furious and tried to convince us to stay, even stopping us as we were driving off the car park. We were resolute though, and they lost a sale.

Wwbu?

This is honestly one of the most bizarre MN posts I’ve ever read. Last time I bought a car, (outright, not on finance), when the sales guy approached DH, I simply interjected and explained it was me buying the car. Job done 🙄

Had to read that twice because I thought I missed something.

The salesman must have thought you were a right pair of weirdos if after shaking his hand you walked over to the desk, then he talked to you for a couple of minutes about the car and as soon as he said he'd get the keys you looked at each other and walked off 😂

Exactly this! She was going to walk out either way so he didn’t really lose a sale.

I have had an Aston Martin salesman tell me that as punters don't really think they deserve to own those cars, he gives them less than 90 seconds to choose something in stock. From the other side of the counter, the richest couple I know were refused a test drive by BMW - the salesman could have looked at the Bentley they drove up in to figure out how much commission he lost. Lastly, someone who used to buy one or two top level Range Rovers every year became so disappointed that he traded a fleet of them for Mercedes 4x4s. The owner of a brand new Ferrari returned it after an expert appraiser pointed out rust, scratches and a dent when it was a month old.
I've only had Porsche and Lexus owners tell me how much they appreciated the after-sales service, nobody else.
When spending tens of thousands of pounds, whoever turns up in the showroom deserves respect - you were not being unreasonable to leave.

The salesman must have thought you were a right pair of weirdos if after shaking his hand you walked over to the desk, then he talked to you for a couple of minutes about the car and as soon as he said he'd get the keys you looked at each other and walked off

This 🤣🤣

But there was no disrespect? He forgot to shake her hand is all…

Well its an overly long post about the fight against sexism and not having hand shake while in a seated position, and when she was kind enough to offer her hand to this patriarchal misoginist (who was booked to meet a man) and was guided to his desk after pleasant chat and coffee from other members of the garage then about faced and flounced out of the showroom while glaring at the manager in the hope he might notice....

That might wash if your making a cash sale on a Rolls Royce but not if your simply proposing to Hire another car from them for a few years.

A very childish part of me hopes every member of that sales team take turns at farting inside it and leave it parked in the sun to bake, even if it is a Vanden Plas 😉

I kind of agree, two people there, you aim everything at both. I am torn on telling him though, I don’t know why, he was rude, but I just don’t like the idea of it

Luckily dh and I have separate cars. When I bought my last one I was the customer and he got ignored, well, because the car will be mine.
I think the mistake here was booking it in dh name.

Really, as the apt was in your husbands name, he should have introduced you.
Was he also sitting when he met/shook hands I wonder?

Not sure what's worse, the salesperson ignoring you, or the 'cool wives' falling over themselves to tell you it's completely fine to be ignored when you're sitting at a desk about to spend tens of thousands of pounds, and yes YOU are the problem.

Even if it wasn't sexism - and I'd bet my car he'd not ignore the man even if the woman's name was on the appointment - it's rude af, and against ANY sales or retail or basic customer service training.

And finally, if the interaction is formal, using titles, she was right to use her title. Having the 2 men be 'professional' and formal and the woman needs to be 'I'm Becky'? That's not how it works.

I think OP actually feels the fact they are borrowing (leasing) a new car, means the dealership should be rolling the red carpet out for them and is a bit gutted this is BAU for car dealerships.

What a ridiculous waste of your own time.

I would expect a salesmen to acknowledge both people as in make eye contact with both etc, but shaking hands is quite old hat since covid in fairness, women seem to do it a lot less then men in my experience, a LOT less, and sometimes you wouldn't offer because you wouldn't want to make the customer feel awkward about shaking you hand if they didn't particularly want to, body language plays a massive part. It says in the OP that she was sat down and stood up to introduce herself, inferring that the salesman and DH were already stood up?

I work in a showroom and you'd be surprised how many people bring their husband, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, mums, dads, kids, friends, dogs, randoms etc, our salespeople tend to introduce them to the one they've had the contact with, or the 'lead' of the booking and defer to them for any other important introductions (if necessary).

When it became clear that the salesman thought the husband was the one buying the car, the husband should have introduced OP and deferred the attention to her. The husband missed that important cue, and OP has massively overreacted IMO.

She never says that he ignored her… just that he forgot to introduce himself. That’s all! This has all been blown way out of proportion and could have been avoided with a quick explanation

I think you did the right thing. If two people arrive at an appointment, of course you introduce yourself to both of them. Then the obvious first question is to check who will be mainly doing the driving.

Absolutely agree!

Sounds like you were looking for the chance to be offended and flounced out. But then you ordered a car anyway.

Literally the stupidest thing I’ve read in a while.

Grow up.

YABU
Ok it was a mistake, but do you honestly think it warranted such a ridiculously fierce and OTT reaction?

If you sweat things like this, how on earth do you cope with everyday life.

You don’t take any prisoners and that’s a horrible way to be.

Are you always perfect?

I think you should be really embarrassed for handling it so childishly.

You cannot genuinely need it explaining to you?!

This thread is hilarious.

I thought people had dispensed with handshaking in these disease-ridden times.

At any rate it's a meaningless formality in this case and I can't imagine inconveniencing myself in this childish way.

I'd think this thread is truly bonkers, even by Mumsnet standards! 😆😆😆

Our fellow came up to us at the wait area introduced himself to my DH, shook his hand, and started talking about the car we'd expressed an interest in.

Rather taken aback at being ignored, I stood up, offered my hand and introduced myself as Mrs SLove.

He shook my hand and guided us to his desk where we talked for a couple of minutes about the car, then he said he'd get the keys and then show us the vehicle.

So you and your husband were both sitting down, then presumably your husband stood up when the salesman came over to say hello to him and shook his hand- but you remained sitting down while they were talking rather than standing up with your husband? I find that odd, to be honest. Maybe if you were sitting down while they were talking then he assumed you weren’t that interested? You could have been your husband’s sister/cousin/friend who had given him a lift there and it might have been nothing to do with you.

I also don’t understand why you and your husband later decided that you didn’t want to make a purchase from them, when it sounds like he was including you both in the conversation after you’d made a point of introducing yourself. He’d not done anything else wrong at that point?

I get your offence by him not saying hello directly to you, but I think you are being very dramatic in terms of thinking they don't deserve your custom because of it.