To have walked out the car dealership after this blatant rudeness, perhaps sexism?

[Sorentolove]

DH and I went to upgrade our shared family car (I drive it 80% of the time) at the local dealership.

The car was purchased 4 years ago at another (same brand) dealership and we're coming to the end of the Lease.

It was purchased under his name, this one will be purchased under my name.

The appointment was made in his name.

We arrived slightly ahead of time and we're greeted pleasantly, offered coffees and waited for the staff member. Another pleasant staff member passed by and had a brief chat with us both.

Our fellow came up to us at the wait area introduced himself to my DH, shook his hand, and started talking about the car we'd expressed an interest in.

Rather taken aback at being ignored, I stood up, offered my hand and introduced myself as Mrs SLove.

He shook my hand and guided us to his desk where we talked for a couple of minutes about the car, then he said he'd get the keys and then show us the vehicle.

DH and I looked at each other and we saw we were on the same page that this branch did not deserve our money and we decided to leave.

I caught the manager's eye on the way out and explained our disappointment.

He was furious and tried to convince us to stay, even stopping us as we were driving off the car park. We were resolute though, and they lost a sale.

Wwbu?

I once had estate agents round and they told me if they sold the house for over 140k it would be 1.5% fee, under would be 1%…we sold for 138k

my husband rang and they attempted to deny all knowledge and say that I had it wrong

i was livid, there was a lot of swearing involved and when I paused for breath dh said to the guy on the phone ‘ did you hear all that?’

lo and behold we got it for 1%

To be honest, you didn't stand up to greet him when your husband did so he may not have realised you were together tonstart off with. Also if your husband had stayed sitting and you got up first then that's a clear indication who the car was for. Also he certainly would not have known you would be the main driver etc etc. Your husband should have made it clear to him who and what's what to give the poor guy a fighting chance.
As previously mentioned he was not a mind reader.

A lease is not a purchase. You long term rent essentially. Just saying as you don’t seem too clued in about the difference.

Sorry but I think you are a bit precious 🤦🏻‍♀️

YANBU
Would’ve felt the same as you, don’t blame you for leaving.
enjoy your new car!

Sorentolove · 09/09/2023 23:17

HarrietSchulenberg · 09/09/2023 23:15

Maybe make your own appointment in your own name next time.
And then if they ignore my husband?

Then you'll get to do it all again - pretending to be offended ! Good call

I think the salesperson should have politely greeted both of you of course, addressed both of you as customers. That's what I expect and frankly am used to get. I don't mind being addressed as Mrs. (husband's name), that guy is a car salesman for Pete's sake, probably knows more about injection motors than social customs. I dó mind if they think I'm thick or something, trying to show me the colour chart - that's my husband's choice. I'm the petrolhead in the family and I want to check under the hood and the state of the breaks. So yes I think YABU. You walked out because a car salesman didn't have the same social sensibilities you have. You should have corrected him and give him a chance to do better.

This totally screams that you were just looking for trouble

As others have written the salesman would have done better to have been more open to both of you.

To have asked questions to have sussed out who the car actually was for. And then have tailored and aimed his conversation appropriately.

Not rocket science.

Was this a big .BMW dealer in central Leeds? Against the odds and their inefficiency, rudeness etc I got a car from them.

I can’t believe some of the comments on here! What’s happened to common courtesy? When I was in sales we had a saying assume makes an ass of you and me, there seems to be a lot of asses on here

Exactly, they aren't mind readers. How is he meant to know who OP is if their hubby didn't introduce them, especially as the appointment was set up in hubby's name.

You sound nuts. The man wasn't rude.

Not at all unreasonable. This behaviour is so annoying! I was buying a house and took my male friend (was giving him a lift and the viewing was on the way), the estate agent spoke to him the whole time, I repeatedly told him it was me buying, not him.
I'm pleased you said something so he might think twice next time. It's often unconscious bias and he probably didn't realise he was being sexist. Well done for speaking up.

I think there is clearly a lot more nuance in the whole interaction than is conveyed on here. OP says she and her OH were thinking the same thing when they caught each others eye towards the end of the exchange before they had even discussed what to do.

I agree @Evan456 some basic courtesy and a half decent approach from the salesman would have avoided all this.

Well when we bought our new cars the salesman was lovely to us both, asked us both to test drive it, treated us both the same… surely whoever is buying it, it’s obvious a family car will be chosen by both

I was 26 when I looked at buying a new car from a showroom, I was dressed casually in jeans, the dealer just ignored me as I was looking at a few. I bought from another dealer in the end, but phoned them to ask if they do servicing for a new car, the salesman seemed shocked.

What was he shocked about? He couldn't see how you were dressed through the phone.

Situations like the one you created OP are so ridiculous they completely undermine the whole cause.

I told him over the phone that I came the previous week and he remembered me.

So you took the trouble to call and thumb your nose at them? Bless...

Yes felt so good.

And what 'cause' is that then, the one where we are either your enemy or Ally.

Clearly you've never booked an appointment with a dealership for a new car, they literally only give you one space for one person not for persons but carry on...

Where exactly did I say the salesman was sexist? Your social etiquette skills are lacking though I have no doubt with the tripe you spit out this is not the only area in your life lacking... Again carry on

Yes!
Why wasn't the appt made in both your names???
As it wasn't, how was the sales person supposed to know WHO you were? You could've been sister/cousin/friend - anyone! As your darling husband didn't immediately introduce you, and you clearly didn't stand up at the same time as your husband when the sales person approached them you are both to blame and I hope said sales person didn't lose his job because of your rude over reaction!
Imagine if the salesperson had referred to you as Mrs @Sorentolove but you were just a friend giving him a lift? I'd say you'd be apoplectic at such rudeness then too!!!!!

Actually, I think your husband should spoken up. It was up to him to correct the salesperson.