To have walked out the car dealership after this blatant rudeness, perhaps sexism?

[Sorentolove]

DH and I went to upgrade our shared family car (I drive it 80% of the time) at the local dealership.

The car was purchased 4 years ago at another (same brand) dealership and we're coming to the end of the Lease.

It was purchased under his name, this one will be purchased under my name.

The appointment was made in his name.

We arrived slightly ahead of time and we're greeted pleasantly, offered coffees and waited for the staff member. Another pleasant staff member passed by and had a brief chat with us both.

Our fellow came up to us at the wait area introduced himself to my DH, shook his hand, and started talking about the car we'd expressed an interest in.

Rather taken aback at being ignored, I stood up, offered my hand and introduced myself as Mrs SLove.

He shook my hand and guided us to his desk where we talked for a couple of minutes about the car, then he said he'd get the keys and then show us the vehicle.

DH and I looked at each other and we saw we were on the same page that this branch did not deserve our money and we decided to leave.

I caught the manager's eye on the way out and explained our disappointment.

He was furious and tried to convince us to stay, even stopping us as we were driving off the car park. We were resolute though, and they lost a sale.

Wwbu?

Absolutely, if two people are there for the appointment they should speak to both. There is nothing stopping the sales person checking with a couple who would be the main user of the car and who would be the registered keeper.

A few years I booked an appointment in my name, my husband came as well. Explained that I was looking at a few options but that I’d had one of these cars a few years ago and really liked it. Salesman only turned to me when he was talking about colours. The car was for me I’d done all the investigation drawing up of a short list etc. I put in a complaint to the dealer and the manufacturer and bought from Mercedes instead.

Your husband should have said straight away my wife will be purchasing our next car as my husband said to the car dealership years ago. The only thing that annoyed me was I was having HP and the salesman came back and said they’ve accepted it looking incredulous. I said why shouldn’t they? He then looked embarrassed 😁

But it was your HUSBANDS appointment and you HUSBANDS car... regardless of if you drive it.

Why are you making your appointments in your husbands name?

My DH has his own car, I have my own... we have never gone along and been involved in the others car buying.

Does your insurance know its his named car but you are the primary driver? You can do that but you have to make it clear or it could void your insurance.

I'm amazed at some of these replies. It doesn't matter whose name the appointment was made in , it's common courtesy to acknowledge both people.

Well I changed my name on marriage and I like us sharing a name, and I also fully understand and support those who don’t, or don’t get married, or who both adopt the woman’s name (which is quite likely to have been her father’s name).
We don’t have to argue about stuff that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme.
I don’t think the OP was being unreasonable either. I’ve had similar experiences in car sales rooms. The whole pitch is usually addressed to my husband, who isn’t interested in cars, hates car sales rooms and is desperate to leave. I usually let it go on for a few minutes before stating the above (politely) and asking the salesperson to talk to me. The assumptions made are irritating.

Well exactly! Very strange comments and pointless arguing.

@Sorentolove apart from the fact he didn’t shake your hand at the beginning of the appointment, I’m really struggling to see what else the salesman did wrong. As already said by others on this thread, the last car was in your dh’s name, your dh made the appointment under his name, so the salesman reasonably thought your dh was buying the new car!

When I went car shopping, with my late dh, I didn’t take the huff if the salesman shook dh’s hand first, plus I always made a point of saying that I was looking for a new car. Did you at any stage say to the salesman, that it was you who was going to be buying this car? From your post it certainly doesn’t look like you did.

If you want to be treated like the purchaser, you should have arranged the appointment under your name, not left your dh to do it. The impression I get, is that you were looking to find something wrong and you were being very unreasonable.

If the OP had stood up to greet the salesman, as her DH did, I imagine she would have been immediately acknowledged too.

The OP was more rude than the salesman.

What on earth is going on here?????? It doesn’t matter at all who’s buying the car!! The man was downright rude and I certainly would not be staying anywhere that has such rubbish customer service, no way would they be getting any of my hard-earned money. The relevance of the appointment being under the husband’s name????? Absolutely ridiculous. Since when does that mean you totally ignore everyone else??!!

I truly think you have blown this out of all proportion. You could have very easily set the record straight when he first ignored you. Stated your name and the fact the car would be yours and then steered the conversation. Afraid you sound a bit precious.

Perhaps he didn't want to assume the nature of your relationship, your surname or even your gender and that's why he didn't formally address you.

I agree he should have offered you a hand to shake but the rest is a total over reaction

The way i understood it is this
Reception told salesman that Mr Appointment was in the waiting room.
Salesman went to waiting room and said Mr Appointment? At which point Mr Appointment stood up shook hands or whatever and then they started talking. Mrs Appointment had remained seated so until she stood up and said I'm Mrs Appointment how on earth was Salesman supposed to know who she was given that her husband continued the conversation without introducing her
Once they had established that she was with him, the Salesman led them both to the desk and discussed the car with both of them!
Fault lies with the husband.
Salesman is not bloody telepathic

She was ignored because her DH forgot to include her in the appointment and then when the salesman came over she sat instead of getting up with her DH like she was with her DH and her DH again forgot she existed and didn’t introduce her.

The salesman wasn’t sexist for not knowing that the appointment booked by a prior customer was for a different person and only responding to the weird body language and poor social etiquette on display.

As soon as the OP stood up and introduced herself as the wife of the man who’d made the appointment, he shook her hand and said hello to her too and then included her from there on.

lol this is ridiculous, so OTT, being offended for the sake of being offended

Totally agree. It was plain rude to have ignored you in that way.

Then you know they're rude. I wouldn't have called this sexism, because he addressed the person whose name was on his appointment sheet.

Sadly though, you tend to find car salesmen will assume the man in front of them is the one with the money and the interest in the car (regardless of who has booked the appointment). I tend to just insert myself into the conversation, if I am interested, and my DH usually makes a joke (yes, a joke) about me being the one to speak to cos I have the money. Normally means they then speak to us equally.

I had it when we were buying our house. Every viewing. I'd arrange it. I have more house knowledge. At the end of the day I care more. DH does care but is much more laid back. But they'd still speak to him first or direct questions at him.

The dealership should treat you as equals - it’s their loss.
ifs another example of rudeness!
I would have done the same as you 👍

Two words Drama Queen

Nope, he should of introduced himself to you as well, and asked open ended questions as to who would be driving the car so he knew who to pitch too mostly.
My sister went to buy a car took her husband as he knows a bit about cars, the sales man did same spoke to her husband, they also walked out.

On a different day, the same people calling OP a drama queen etc would take the opposing view. That’s MN for you. Depends how argumentative people are feeling at any point in time.

This happened to me too once when we had a double glazing sales man around. He talked purely to my husband so out of principle I went elsewhere