To think DH is being unreasonable/making this difficult when it doesn’t need to be?

[Stressedmummy7]

We are going away on holiday (involving a long haul flight and DD wants to take the soft toys for on the plane) on Monday. DD wants to bring 3 soft toys in her backpack. DH is moaning and groaning saying she can only bring one, DH won’t stop going on about it. I personally think it’s fine for DD to take 3 as she knows she can’t have all 3 out at once and also her snacks etc go in my backpack normally so she will have room in hers for them. DH is trying to start an argument with me over and saying I’m “not being strict enough” with DD. Aibu to think DH is being unreasonable/making this more difficult than it needs to be?

YANBU OP, he obviously has issues of some sort, as it is no odds to him if she takes 3 toys. No idea why he would think this is embarrassing for him, and sounds like he can't explain it either.

Don't back down on this, you and DD aren't doing anything wrong and it is extremely controlling of him to behave like this.

DD is 15 and still takes a stuffed toy on holiday to sleep with. She has had a difficult childhood and I don't bat an eyelid as she needs it for security.

The rule in this house is "you take it, you carry it", so as long as DD can fit them in and carry them, then I don't see a problem.

You have bigger problems in your marriage sadly, if he is willing to stay home over this.

And don't forget to put a gazillion stuffed toys in them

Just before Covid we flew on holiday. My then 14yo had a large soft toy on the plane with her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a 7yo having 3 smaller ones with her.

I would tell him breezily that DD will be taking her soft toys so if he wants to stay at home you will be both see him when you return from holiday. Then just get on with your final preparations. If he doesn't go with you then I'm guessing you might have a lovely, stress free break with your DD.

Stand firm. He's being a total dick. On our last (uk) holiday my 17 and 18 year olds each took about 5-7 soft toys. If they're happy, I'm happy.

But don't make the mistake I once did and tell my son he can take just one teddy in the car to visit his gran. He chose the one that was bigger than him! I let him take it though and he spent the journey with this huge teddy on his lap. He could barely see out the window!

How weird. He has control and resentment issues concerning you and daughter. A grown man fussing and needing to win a battle against his 3 year old. If she takes 2 toys instead of 3, is that going to be peak happiness for him? Or will he then find something else to moan about? But really you should have knocked this conversation on the head immediately and not engaged in further discussion about such stupidity. Why even give it airtime?

Stressedmummy
DH has gone off on one again this morning and wouldn’t shut up about it again! Now he’s said he wants to stay at home because he “can’t agree with DD taking 3 soft toys on a plane!”

FGS stop feeding into the nonsense. Let him stay at home. Your husband is a weirdo HOW have you not noticed? I hope your daughter can't hear all this strife going on.

All the posters detailing the soft toys their own kids took on holiday are kind of missing the point?
It's not about whether it's normal to take toys on holiday or not, (we all know it is), the point is that op's dh is behaving in a way that suggests he's having a mental breakdown.
This is not normal. Even op seem to be only concerned with winning the battle of the soft toys 🤔

I'd call his bluff!

Tell him that though you and DD will miss him you'll see him when you get home.

Awesome. Hope you and your daughter have a great holiday!

I only allow my kids to take one or two soft toys away. They cannot hold three and I don't want the stress of lost soft toys!

Compromise on two!

Ds 9 took 10 soft toys abroad this yr.5 in back pack.5 in cases.No issue.
Your dh is being a controlling dick

Tell him you are seriously worried about his mental health, because he is acting weird and this is not normal.

But you are weird too for deciding she can’t play with all three of them at the same time tbh.

Please don’t give in to him. He’s being purposely controlling. Absolutely go without him.
You are not his child to be told what to do.
Stand firm!

Can you ask him to explain what the problem is? Just keep saying ‘explain to me what the problem is’ if he says anything that is not explaining it say again ‘explain to me what the problem is’ and don’t go off topic.
write it down if you have to or text him.

Sounds like he is one of those ragers (or as we call them, ‘temper-isers’) that just keep changing the subject and won’t give direct answers because they are just in a temper for no good reason.

does he have communication problems at work? Elsewhere?

Sounds ideal, enjoy your trip without your freak of a bloke.

Just leave him behind then this is definitely not normal

He's being an utter prick. It's not normal. I'm curious to if he's like this over other things in life.

like everyone else my DD 10, still takes soft toys with her. She's just been away with her dad and same rule applies you have to carry it and you can only fill your backpack. (And no annoying toys for the plane!).

Id unpack his clothes from the case and tell him you will see him when you get back. He's upping the ante to get you to agree with him, and he won't back down.
he will next tell you if you go away without him you're jeopardising the marriage. Over 3 soft toys no less.

Now he’s said he wants to stay at home because he “can’t agree with DD taking 3 soft toys on a plane!”!!

Is HE the 7 year old? He sounds utterly ridiculous.

'Enough. You are being ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. This is not even close to something that you should be trying to control and it's not a situation which requires your 'approval' or 'agreement'.

Now. You can choose to carry on being annoyed over something so ridiculous or you can choose to let it go and enjoy the holiday. It's up to you. But this conversation is done and is not being revisited, revived or discussed again.'

Imagine him explaining to his friends/colleagues the reason he did not go on the holiday. 😂

Is he coping mentally with work etc? He does sound as though he's got something else going on.

I wouldn’t bother engaging with him any further. Make your own plans to go to the airport, tell DD Daddy has to work or something. Don’t let her think for a second that this is her fault.

Either he’s controlling and a total cunt.

He is having a breakdown, or finally

He is looking for an excuse, any excuse not to come on this family holiday.

Whatever it is can wait until you return. You can’t possibly go with him, he’s not right.

Wow. My 9 year takes three soft toys on every trip!!!

He sounds like he's looking for an excuse not to go, can he stay behind?

I think there is something going on you know nothing of.

Sounds like he doesn't want to go.

Your in an abusive relationship and that poor child of yours is to be pitied with such a moron as a father.

Protect your child from him.