School bans ALL physical contact

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The parents haven't been informed by the school of this rule, but the kids have been told they will get a warning for the first transgression and then a detention is it happens again. No physical contact at all permitted. How are they going to enforce it and is this the case is any other school (from a quick Google I found that a school in Essex has done this) and AIBU to think it's ridiculous? I have 2 DCs in this school so it will affect them.

Give it a rest. It is the job of the parents to teach this kind of thing to their children!

My school brought in the same rule in 1980. The headmaster caught the head boy snogging the head girl. He was very annoyed and the no physical contact rule was implemented.

I don't remember ever taking much notice of it. I was just more discreet 😃

Or girls wouldn't stop inappropriately touching boys.

I understand that one of the problems is that the boys are told they must not ever touch a girl without explicit consent and then they see girls touching boys and girls without explicit consent.

Or maybe their parents can teach them that

I don't think I can even take that comment seriously.

I imagine punishing children for touch will make them feel ashamed and frightened of human touch when they grow up. Doesn't sound like a recipe for healthy, happy adults at all.

Oh, I don't know. When the only touch I got at home was being hit, I think I'd have quite liked it if I didn't have boys grabbing me around the waist and rubbing themselves up against me, only to say 'We're friends, Miss!' when a member of staff spotted the hug and not the erection.

Just existing without people exercising their entitlement over my body would have been nice.

You know that your experience, while unhappy, is not the norm,
though?

If you take out the home life bit, it's very much the experience of many girls in mixed schools.

The trouble in combating it is that the girls don't want to be singled out for not accepting the male entitlement to their bodies, as the repercussions of 'getting him into trouble' can be extreme, so will say 'He's just like that, Miss, don't worry', even when you've recognised the discomfort, revulsion or, commonly, resignation in their faces.

But the repercussions will be even more extreme now and the pressure not to get "him in trouble" even greater.

Banning something rarely stops those who are intent on doing it and in this case it will only remove a benefits of human touch for those who don't abuse it.

nobody Is saying that physical abuse and sexual assault are ok.
but the solution is not to ban all human touch. Come on these things are obvious. Some forms of contact are abusive, others are fundamental to wellbeing and happiness.

She wouldn't have to say 'he's groping/sexually assaulting me', though. Just the fact of him touching her would be sufficient for staff to act when they see it.

Will they see it though?

And what will happen later, when "She" is out in the big wild world, where there are no rule on on touching? How will She cope then?

Why not work on Her resilience and His attitude while they are young and still in school? Learned behaviours while being falsely protected by ridiculous rules that are not enforceable in real life will only get worse.

And yet it is most definitely in the national curriculum, under PHSE and RSE, right from key stage 1 upwards.

So clearly school are expected to teach about appropriate and inappropriate physical contact. We talk about consent, in terms of physical contact from day 1. If it isn't inappropriate then it shouldn't be in the curriculum perhaps.

I'm not going to debate it to any great length because you've already blamed her for not 'standing up for herself' (the resilience shite).

I've worked in schools for many years. Boys as a class don't change. They just come equipped with more tools - expectations, phones, social media - to abuse girls with these days.

I also suspect it doesn't stop the worst of assaults and harassment either.

The type of child who is likely to keep harassing or assaulting other pupils is also the type who are likely to not follow rules regardless, ime,

So they already know what behaviour is and isn't appropriate.
They will just become less obvious about it, or do it outside the school gates.

@Qilin yes it's part of the curriculum but that's just reinforcing it. Pshe is a tiny part of the curriculum. You are deluded if you think it is the responsibility of a school to teach your child that it's wrong to put their hands on another child. I am in disbelief that this many parents are genuinely this angry and jumping to so many conclusions, when the OP hasn't even seen the policy. This is all hearsay!! My DD is at a no touch school and it works just fine. She's absolutely ok and not stunted because she can't playfight her friends at lunch. These ridiculous examples of 'what if someone brushes against you in the corridor' makes me feel like I'm talking to a bunch of Y9s.
This is a great thread to read for those that need a reminder why there's a recruitment crisis. We can't even tell kids to keep their hands to themselves anymore.

Or maybe their parents can teach them that

Lots of children need to learn these things from schools due to their own home lives. Not all parents are able, or want to, teach their children about personal boundaries and appropriate consensual physical contact.

It might not be the majority, but it will be a significant minority.

Do we just ignore the needs of these children and hope for the best?!

Whilst PHSE lessons form a small part of the curriculum, many of the underlying principles and lessons taught in the specific lessons form a bigger part of day to day life and conversations across a school community in my experience.

It's been a while since I taught secondary, having moved to primary. Maybe secondaries no longer talk about such things across the school curriculum, in assemblies, in form times, etc anymore and it only stays on specific PHSE and RSE lessons. 🤷‍♀️

Whatever.

You can call it blaming, I call it taking responsibility of oneself.

Boys as a class don’t change? Really?

I have a boy and a girl. I find your post offensive.

really? I think the opposite, that it makes sense in a society where children are constantly bombarded with sexual images, advised their self worth is based on how sexy they are, encouraged to declare and celebrate their sexuality as early as possible that it makes sense that they just think 'fuck it, easier to opt out of this' and saying they are asexual is a peer-accepted way of doing it.

Or, perhaps it's as simple as more kids are saying they are asexual simply because they are are asexual, because (although you seem to be suggesting the opposite) it is a real thing, and it's just become more common/normal to be aware of it, and at a younger age.

That's not to say I agree with the policy though, it's patently ridiculous, even if only because while they might say 'its easier to just forbid all types of touching rather than try and specify what types are/aren't okay', in order to police their own rule they are still going to have to make exactly the same subjective decisions - unless they are saying they are going to punish a kid who hugs their mate because their parents are getting a divorce, or who gives a friend a high five as strictly as one who punches someone in the face or sexually assaults a classmate?

it will.

I think they sexualise touch with things like this.

@heatherheathe can you tell me why i don't get the proprler quote thing even when I press reply to a specific post.