School bans ALL physical contact

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The parents haven't been informed by the school of this rule, but the kids have been told they will get a warning for the first transgression and then a detention is it happens again. No physical contact at all permitted. How are they going to enforce it and is this the case is any other school (from a quick Google I found that a school in Essex has done this) and AIBU to think it's ridiculous? I have 2 DCs in this school so it will affect them.

Does this include sport, a lot of which is contact at secondary school? What about brushing by another pupil in a crowded corridor?

I guess the reason they have put this rule in place is to give the school some weight when bullying is taking place. All other examples of touching I’m sure wouldn’t need to be dealt with and so it’s not about friends not being able to be affectionate, but more a case of being able to come down harder on bullies who use physical contact as a form of aggression.

How are they going to play rugby then??? Seems extreme but I'm guessing they have had issues

"What about brushing by another pupil in a crowded corridor?"

It all depends who sees it
I've seen an autistic boy be repeatedly sanctioned for something like this because the teachers refused to believe he could "be that clumsy" and they said he does it when he's in a bad mood. What they meant is that when he has been highly stressed in a classroom, he finds it harder to focus on his motor skills and spatial awareness once he leaves. He ended up in a PRU

But that presupposes that "precious snowflake" children have only been holding hands, hugging etc recently.

This is just another example of heads and teachers thinking that schools are only about getting through the curriculum and passing exams sausage machines.

If you actually think that the kids in your school aren’t doing all this stuff you are very naive.

And I’ve yet to know a school without bullying and ‘inappropriate touching’, both consenting and not, no matter what rules the teachers think they are instilling! You can’t actually have that number of humans in one place without it happening.

The problem with fruitcake rules like this is they inevitably have to lead to a situation where there are "some exemptions", which are dealt with on a "case by case basis".

And before you know it, regardless of intentions, you will pretty quickly be able to work out whose exempted and who is not. And the prejudices and biases that will stir up.

Arbitrary laws are one hallmark of a fucked country and should be discouraged wherever possible.

My dd hates hugs but she tolerates them as this seems to be the norm amongst teenage girls. She would love this rule. Not all kids want to be all over each other all of the time and the wants of those who like physical contact don’t trump those who don’t.

And I would never feel the need to hug a colleague. Perhaps dd gets it from me.

If schools weren't spending so much energy and time enforcing ridiculously stringent and unneccessary uniform regulations (see other thread) , perhaps they would have the time and energy to ensure proper safeguarding and create a culture where consent is understood and young people learn appropriate boundaries and behaviours.

Or, perhaps, if PARENTS instilled an understanding of consent and appropriate boundaries, rather than relying on schools to do that, a stupid blanket no-contact “rule” wouldn’t have to be enforced.

I cannot see the big problem with this rule. Lots of hysteria about high fiving without knowing the actual wording of this rule, and an insistence that hugging is ESSENTIAL (it isn’t).

What about brushing by another pupil in a crowded corridor?

It depends.

Brushing past someone because the corridors are busy - absolutely fine.

But ‘brushing’ past someone who happens to be a scared little year 7 and no one else or a group of friends ‘brushing’ past 1 individual and no one else - not fine.
Lots of bullies use the corridors to intimidate people.

It is easier and safer for the pupils to have a blanket rule of no physical contact and then overlook certain things.
Than have certain physical contact ok and others not.

I lost count of how many times boys would grab my boobs when I was young and I know this is still a regular thing that often goes unreported.

When I reported it they always replied with something like they went to touch my arm or shoulder.
They cannot get into trouble for going to touch your shoulder or arm and so they’d get away with it, which they knew and is why they did it.

If this rule was put in place then they would have gotten in to trouble for touching me because once is an accident but twice is intentional.

Most SA isn’t someone just walking over to you and putting their hand up your skirt.
Its often done over a period of time of regular touching that isn’t inappropriate, so when it does become inappropriate they can say it was an accident or they were led on.

Having a no touch rule isn’t going to instantly stop all bullying and SA but it can help to reduce it, which surely can only be a positive thing.

I mean, this thread literally has teachers explaining the rule and parents losing their shit. Mad! 🤣🤣

If schools weren't spending so much energy and time enforcing ridiculously stringent and unnecessary uniform regulations (see other thread) , perhaps they would have the time and energy to ensure proper safeguarding and create a culture where consent is understood and young people learn appropriate boundaries and behaviours.

If you've ever read The Peter Principle, you'd know that when you can't do what you are supposed to do for whatever reason (but usually incompetence) then a good way to divert attention is to find something else that you can do, and make that your rasion d'etre. So pratting around with shoe colours and skirt lengths is a great way to avoid talking about grades, results and prospects.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been on a night out and been touched by men.

Perhaps if these no touching rules were put in place in schools, then there would be a lot less of this and they would be taught how to act appropriately.

(obviously this should be a parents job but many parents are lazy and inadequate and don’t teach them these things, so school has to).

Physical contact between boys and girls was banned in my grammar school in the late 60s/early 70s. It didn't work then and I doubt it would work now.

its the same in most workplaces, isn't it

Er... no?

I've worked in some very right-on organisations and I've honestly never worked anywhere that banned all physical contact between human beings.

I would be interested to see how the OP's kids' school is going to manage PE lessons. Don't they do any contact sports? You'd have a hard time playing football without touching anyone, for instance.

I know a school that had a "two foot rule" in the late 60s .......needless to say it was "more honoured by the breach than the observance"

I'm fully aware of the problems in schools right now and this is not an answer.

@Foxesandsquirrels - I meant this policy is not an answer - not your answer is not an answer. I completely respect your different opinion.

Ours was 3 foot 🤣. We were closer than 3 foot in lessons.

@TotalOverhaul what policy? The op hasn't even got a copy yet. This is all hearsay and assumptions.

This is utterly ridiculous.

Touch is big part of human nature. If they ban it then it will be seen as something dirty, something that needs to stay hidden and this will lead to problems with inappropriate touch and consent.

It's so sad.

"More parents are happy with the no touching rule than unhappy with it". Will you provide a link to this evidence, please?

I strongly suspect we'll be waiting forever for that.

As someone who has taught in a school with this rule, which made many vulnerable children feel far safer I think we should be mindful if the fact that sadly some physical interactions are not innocent nor beneficial. And when a bully constantly torments a child ( kicking, flicking, pushing, brushing up against them) and the child feels unable to defend themselves (‘it was just a laugh miss, he/she doesn’t mind’), it can be a minefield. Does one child’s right to hug trump another’s right to feel safe?

And just another point about those terrible prison Warder teachers - I have yet to meet a teacher who wants school uniform. I hate it. Every day would start with a negative interaction about shoes, skirt length etc. when all I wanted to do was teach. But every time we asked parents to go no uniform there was an outcry - uniform lets the school have the clothing battles, not the parents. Europe, USA, Canada - none of them have uniforms unless it’s a very specific type of school. It doesn’t improve results or act as a social leveller - it’s just a daily waste of time. But the governors/ parents set the uniform rules and we mugs on the front line get sanctioned if we don’t enforce.

Yep! You can not physically have over 1000 humans in a building for 6 odd hours, moving around and interacting and expect that none of them will in some way touch each other.

Throw in the teachers who will all have different levels of respect for, agreement with and just the will power and authority to impose the rules and you necessarily end up with a situation what X gets away with this because Y, you can do Xy in one class but not another, X did this yesterday and no one followed up but today they are etc etc.

Its the same with all school rules but a massive blanket rule like that is just going to be unworkable in any real way.