School bans ALL physical contact

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The parents haven't been informed by the school of this rule, but the kids have been told they will get a warning for the first transgression and then a detention is it happens again. No physical contact at all permitted. How are they going to enforce it and is this the case is any other school (from a quick Google I found that a school in Essex has done this) and AIBU to think it's ridiculous? I have 2 DCs in this school so it will affect them.

I totally get the logic here. Staff are not there to sort out issues such as inappropriate behaviour, they are there to get the pupils through exams.
It will make sure that there is no inappropriate touching, no excuse can be made etc etc……,
I agree with the poster who said something has probably happened and they need to ensure it does not happen again:

That will be difficult during PE, although I do agree with regards to the play fighting!

DS was knocked off his feet from behind by a charming young man on the playground! He had to have knee surgery and months of physio as a consequence and will possibly be forever plagued by knee issues!

The rule of no contact whatsoever though is ridiculous!

Shall we wait and read the actual rules?
Only OP found it on Google. (I can see articles from January) Her kids go to the school. Then a friend whose kids go to the school have emailed the school. Have the children 9 months later only just noticed they were the subject of lots of news articles almost a year ago? Have the parents?

Bit confused really. Or possibly not.

If it stops girls being sexually assaulted by boys I'm all for it.

No football, or other sports where kids tackle each other or bump into each other?

How on earth are children meant to learn about appropriate physical contact if they are not allowed to touch anyone. Ever.

I don’t know what kind of workplaces people work at that don’t have any touching?!
There’s loads of socially acceptable touching and it’s nonsense to say they can’t tell the difference.
Stuff I see every day in an office:
Handshakes (very very common)
High fives (see daily)
Fist bumps (not that fond but lots of the men seem to like greeting each other with these)
Hugs (really IS more women hugging each other but see men hugging people when someone is leaving/retiring or going on Mat leave etc)
Some people give each other shoulder massages!! One person is a trained masseuse and people ask them for a shoulder massage about once a week.
We have several couples who I’ve seen holding hands and never occurred to me to be offended, they aren’t kissing or anything at work!

I might work in a particularly touchy place, although I’ve worked other places like this, but to say there’s no touching in workplaces is nonsense, at the very least handshakes and high fives have been common everywhere I have worked.

Why not take it a step further then, and just ban boys from leaving the home?

There is going to be physical contact in contact sport, obviously - but not outside of that.

They can learn all they want about physical contact outside of school.

That's staggeringly bad management from above. Touch is natural and normal and we have actually become far too precious about it imo. To pathologise all forms of touch is teaching adolescents a poor lesson in appropriate boundaries.

What happens if someone accidentally brushes against another person in a lunch queue or when working on a project together? What happens if fingers touch when handing someone a beaker in chemistry. What about rugby tackles? Gymnastics? Not all touch is aggressive, sexual or breaching boundaries. Touch is healthy, healing, affectionate, necessary, soothing. A high five, a handshake, a hug, and arm around a shoulder, a pat on the back, a quick touch of the arm to get attention - these are completely healthy interactions.

it should be perfectly easy to draw up guidelines of what is and isn't acceptable touch - no jumping on people's backs, no sexual touching of any kind, no restricting people's throats or basic movements, no tripping or shoving.

i wouldn't want my DC to go to a school that is so badly run. How do your Dc feel about this rule. Do they want to campaign against its stupidity?

I was at an all girls secondary school in the early 00s and they did this.

DDs school has always been like this. No touching. I can understand it tbh. She's never got in trouble for hugging a friend realistically.

That's such a poor way of managing the situation though.
It's akin to being in an office environment where someone spent all day on the phone and instead of management tackling the issue with that person, they take the easy way out and ban all personal phone calls.

How will that ban work while hundreds of students are in the corridors? During class change and breaks my school corridors where like sardine cans.

@TotalOverhaul you're really overthinking this. My DDs school is like this and it's basically the same thing you'd expect in an office environment. Keep your hands to yourself.

So they can play sport at play time, where touching would be fine, but they can't walk around the premises during lunch time arm in arm?

Maybe you need to find another school if you can't support their rules

This thread is full of comments from parents who haven't worked in secondary schools

@AmIAutumnalNow It's incredible. People have no clue what it's like working in schools and it makes me despair that parents can't even get behind a simple, hands to yourself rule. This parent is going online to complain before she's even seen the policy!

Is it? Do all workplaces have a strict no touching time? Even if consenting?

So colleagues can't shake hands with one another?

If a colleague you're friends with is upset and you genuinely can't give them a comforting answer at on the arm or a hug?

That doesn't seem even vaguely natural or normal human behaviour to me. And I'm not convinced this is normal workplace rules either.

I would hate this. How about children are taught that inappropriate touching is not okay, rather than preventing friends from even giving a high five or putting an arm around an upset friend?

A blanket ban only teaches them that if a minority can't follow the rules then the rules much be changed so everyone is affected.

no, they can play contact sport in PE lessons - the no contact rule applies during break and lunch time

That's what I mean though, no football at lunch time?

But they are kids - it's normal to have a bit of physical tumbling around. They are like puppies. They need contact.

I remember the group I hung out with in adolescence - people were always hugging and flinging arms around each other and linking arms and doing silly dance routines on the playing field and playing British Bulldog. We had a brilliant time.

Also, I've never worked in a no-contact office. I've always had co-workers who put a hand on your shoulder or arm to get your attention or who high-five or hug when a project goes well.

I don't think I'm the one overthinking this. I think the school management are.

I know exactly what schools are like. I've taught in secondary schools and primary schools for over 25 years and never been in a school that's had to implement this rule.

The only place I've known with a no contact rule was the prison I taught in for three years.

What absolute nonsense.
totally fine to hug a colleague. This is utterly disgraceful

I worked in a boys’ school that had this rule25 years ago. It’s nothing new. It eliminated all those ‘friendly’ punches and pushes that were really micro aggressions that often flared into violence amongst teenage boys. It reduced bullying and made vulnerable boys feel much safer.

If I was the daughter of a teenage girl today I’d be delighted that young men were explicitly told touching them is unacceptable. Think that Spanish female footballer. Girls are too often embarrassed to call out boys who hug or grab then.

No one is saying that they are going to he deprived of human contact in the 50% of the day/night they’re not at school, at weekends or in holidays. It’s just about making the school environment a safer, more consensual environment. If you’d ever had to work with hundreds of hormonal teenagers crammed into small spaces, you might feel differently.